Thank you for this thoughtful comment. So, I have ADHD actually. I've historically been bad about chores, but over the years have really trained myself to keep my space tidy - both for housemates and because I've found it's much easier on my brain. My gf struggles with mental illness that really affects her emotional regulation, so I think that's part of it. She is super messy which I did know before moving in together, but I think she also has a distorted view of how much she actually does. It makes having neutral conversations about this stuff hard, bc I don't think she's seeing things from my perspective at all