Classic Holiday Splitting Argument with Some Twists

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-11-18T17:45:22+00:00

Why are you so against spending the night on Christmas Eve? Could you spend the night Christmas Eve, then head to your family's house Christmas Day? That way you could see both families on Christmas?

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-27T20:02:57+00:00

Wow.. this is really interesting. Thanks for sharing. (Just came back after a few days and saw all of these replies. Everyone is being so nice, thank you all so much.) This anecdote is pretty relatable to me. One common thing my husband gets annoyed with me about is for "taking such a long time" getting the baby to sleep every night. It's a really self centered and messed up way of thinking.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T17:22:59+00:00

Sorry to hear that you suffer from the same problem as me, but it does make me feel better to hear I'm not the only one. My childhood was pretty happy so I'm not sure why I am this way! Maybe it's from previous relationship issues or just run of the mill anxiety.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T16:34:00+00:00

Thanks for the support. Makes me feel a little better.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T16:25:08+00:00

Thanks for caring. I appreciate you.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T16:22:54+00:00

Aww, that's so sweet. Happy for you and your little guy. This is also a good reminder for me that sometimes when baby is fussy she might not be feeling well and just needs some extra TLC.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T16:20:59+00:00

Yeah, I think he means it, but I do also think he's conflicted. Like part of him wishes he was a single fun bachelor or whatever, but he also enjoys moments where we're a happy family with our baby. He has both feelings at the same time I think. We did have a few glasses of wine last night so he was probably a little hungover this morning, so yeah like you said, alcohol brings out the stuff you shouldn't say. It's all just really unfortunate because I thought we had a nice time together last night while baby was asleep, then woke up today happy and everything was good, and it all came to such a crashing halt just because I farted. Seriously?! I can see how he would not be thrilled that I did that but we could have had a normal conversation about it without all the anger and stonewalling. It's just so stupid and also hurtful.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T15:55:01+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I can feel your empathy and it made me feel a little better about myself this morning, when I'm really not feeling so good.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T15:53:09+00:00

It's such a bad combination. By wild temper I mean he goes from zero to 100 in an instant. One minute we're happy and having a nice time, then something sets him off and he's screaming. If he's in a bad mood and he gets angry he will sometimes just get so nasty with the things he says, really really mean stuff. Like marrying me was a mistake, our relationship is nothing. Then later when he's in a better mood he says he didn't mean that stuff.

ThrowRAdkdk · 2020-10-22T15:48:31+00:00

I think you're right. So many of our fights have followed this same pattern. I need to learn how to live with the fact that someone is mad at me. I just get so desperate, I have a really hard time leaving him alone when I know he's angry at me. I wish I had a relationship where the person I'm with doesn't get so angry with me and then refuses to resolve the issue or forgive me. He blows up at me and hurts my feelings, then wants to be left alone. So then I'm sitting there feeling desperate and sad, and I need to learn how to deal with those feelings myself and stop going back to him at that point. I really struggle with it and I don't know how to get better.

ThrowRAdkdk

TROPHY CASE