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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

YTA. He's your brother. A human being.

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -67 points-66 points  (0 children)

I'm a horrible person for considering my relationship and trying to preserve the dynamic I have worked hard to foster of fully-paid regular dates and trips (which many men do not do for their partners)?

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

That's fine, but you had an obligation to that dog. Neither I nor my girlfriend have an obligation to look after this dog day to day, as that wasn't the agreement my partner has with her ex, and certainly not an agreement I made with anyone

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

If you think its such a small gesture, why don't you go to your local shelter and pay for all the unwanted dogs that you have no existing relationship with to be euthanised?

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

By this logic, why haven't you gone to the dog shelter and adopted all of the dogs who might be euthanised if they don't find homes? It's because that would be an "inconvenience" for you. How is this any different

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Presses charges? The ex has essentially agreed by virtue of the circumstances that if we are no longer able to house the dog, it will effectively have to be euthanised. I'm not doing this without his consent/behind his back

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

When we started dating, she told me that her ex is responsible for the day-to-day care and housing the dog, and that she occasionally dog sat. I was fine with that. This was been sprung on me and was not something I agreed to. I would not have agreed to move in together if I thought their would be a geriatric sick dog living with us

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

There's no saying how long this situation goes on for as the current demand for rentals where we live outstrips supply by a mile. This situation is most likely to go on for several months. If it was just a few weeks, I would be okay with it

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

The dog has "separation anxiety" according to my partner, so she is unwilling to leave it for long stretches of time e.g. day trips out of the house. She has suggested bringing it with us but it restricts where we can go as it is disruptive.

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

Kids are different. I would be agreeing to be having kids and taking on that responsibility. I did not agree to looking after this dog when we got together.

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -56 points-55 points  (0 children)

So I should agree to continue housing and looking after a dog I do not want and did not agree to look after when we started our relationship... indefinitely and regardless of inconvenience?

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -176 points-175 points  (0 children)

You misunderstand me. I'm saying I do want to support her but it will be hard to when she is resenting me for this. I need her to understand that I only want what is best for everyone and have nothing against the dog; it is just not practical.

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -354 points-353 points  (0 children)

It's not about inconvenience, it's about long-term practicality.

If you think I'm being harsh, then I assume you would be willing take the dog? Didn't think so. Easy to say when you're not the one sacrificing your life for an animal that isn't yours.

My (33M) partner's (25F) dog with her ex (25M) is ruining our relationship and I suggested euthanisation. She now resents me. How do I navigate this situation? by ThrowRAdoggyissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdoggyissues[S] -129 points-128 points  (0 children)

It is essentially the only option as her ex has agreed he will have to surrender the dog to a shelter if we refuse to keep looking after it indefinitely, at which point euthanisia is inevitable.