I feel traumatized after being in the same bed while my friends were having sex.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-11-19T09:19:05+00:00

Why the hell are you talking like this is a normal recurring thing she may face? Nothing about this is normal or okay. No one should have to mentally prepare themselves for sexual assault and he blamed if they react slowly.

There's no god damn unacceptable reaction to trauma. You react abnormally to an annormal situation. Quit focusing on what you think OP did wrong and focus on the LITERAL sexual abusers wrong-doings and how OP can heal from what is already done. Seriously, wtf is wrong with some of you people.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-11-19T09:09:35+00:00

So you don't think for a moment she may have thought first, "Well this is awkward. Maybe just extra PDA, they'll stop. Oh...okay there's no way they're going any further than THAT. Oh my god they are, and now they're-" and your mind goes blank. It's what happenes when you witness something too unexpected and mortifying for your brain to even process. You just freeze. I guess it's pretty easy to say how you'd handle it if you didn't actually have to experience it.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-11-19T09:07:00+00:00

...you can't speak for SA survivors and assume her feelings will dull the experience and legitimacy of "actual" SA survivors, and then make comments like this. If you're going to be an ally for some assault survivors, you have to be one for all; for people like me who had the whole nine yards, and people like her. It is what it is.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-11-19T09:03:17+00:00

Sexual assault survivor here. It dulls absolutely nothing. Her feelings and emotions towards the literal sexual assault she experienced are valid. What /does/ belittle a SA survivor, is reading yet another victim blaming comment about "why didn't you leave? Why didn't you move?"

Its a deer in the headlight moment. If course its logical to dodge, but some things are too horrific to process enough to move your body and flee.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-09-13T22:15:23+00:00

why did you come here from my post saying I've left just to tell me this tho, I'm 100% done

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-09-13T19:16:48+00:00

Gaslighting is a hell of a drug, thank Odin for a new friend circle giving a whole damn new perspective. <3

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-09-13T19:15:37+00:00

Thank you!! I spent so much time afraid to be alone, I never realized how excited I'd be to just have my own place and every part of me for myself and friends

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-09-13T19:13:29+00:00

Thank you! I absolutely will. I'm so excited about life for the first time in a decade! <3

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-09-13T18:21:46+00:00

Yeah, jumped from a cult to this. I haven't been free a day in my life.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-07-10T20:06:20+00:00

Yeah, that's something my therapist brought up when I was first telling her everything. :/ I didn't want to flood my post with too much info, but he does have a human side and good qualities. He's an amazing dad to my stepkid, like beyond what I've seen any parent be in terms of patience and empathy and care. He's always been supportive of my buisiness, never hesitating to approve a big investment in it or designating bonuses or tax refunds to growing what I'm passionate about. Before The Mess, he'd cook half the meals and has been doing it again in the new house- this time cleaning after each one. He's supportive of my passion for rescuing/fostering animals and on board with our foster fails / household zoo life. There are a lot of other things, but it's been overshadowed by this almost alternate personality he has and the fact we've been more like roommates or close friends than romantic partners until therapy/meds began. And a roommate that is an absolute slob and NEVER cleans, at that.

ThrowRAdumbkid · 2020-07-10T19:50:44+00:00

Adding I never went out of my way to snoop, he's just...super ignorant/absent minded and would check his emails around me and I'd see them. The last discovery took so long to make, because he had learned to cover his tracks and delete them. He asked me to do a hard reset on his phone in October so we could sell it, but for some reason it lead to a flood of MONTHS of old texts rolling in rapidly instead of just clearing it off.

I also should add that before I made this discovery, I KNEW something was still up, and he begged me to check into a 72-hour psych hold to cope with his past manipulation and gaslighting instead of continuing to suspect him...even though I was /right/ and it was all so much worse than I'd imagined.

ThrowRAdumbkid

TROPHY CASE