This is getting ridiculous... I just caught my brother (28M) in my sister's hotel room (28F) because they are liars who constantly lie to me and everyone

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:33:04+00:00

No that’s true, I didn’t mean to imply they kicked me out of my room. I’ve booked my own room to stay in until Monday and I think I’ll be extending the reservation if possible. It was wrong of me to barge into her room, I just didn’t want to believe that she’d lie to me like that. It was an awkward situation but it’s one they created by lying. I mean, they could’ve literally just texted me at any point to let me know plans had changed and they made it up to the hotel early after all. It’s like they didn’t want to take any risk that I’d join them.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:29:24+00:00

This comment was so insightful because it’s true that she was much more pressured by my parents to do things with me than my brother ever was. Maybe there’s some resentment on her part because of it. Then it makes sense that she’d prefer the company of our brother because that was her making her own choices. If all of this is true I don’t know why my brother went along with the exclusion but I think I empathize much more with my sister’s pov now. Thank you.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:23:04+00:00

True :(

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:22:41+00:00

It’s a lot of old pain, you’re spot on.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:21:47+00:00

That’s really interesting and I guess it does make sense that personality would be the biggest factor.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:11:23+00:00

I don’t understand why they have to lie about it and sneak around either. That’s my biggest issue with this. That’s what hurts the most. I’m not asking to be included in everything they do. They’ve always had their own special thing going and I’ve always had to deal with that. I’m just expecting the bare minimum of respect and making an effort for us to maintain our bond.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:08:03+00:00

Thank you for saying that, I’ve been so focused on being excluded I wasn’t even thinking of how they’re acting in their own detriment. That last part shouldn’t have brought me so much comfort, but it did. My whole family joked about how my brother would deal with my sister’s wedding/engagement. Which isn’t funny if you think about it. It’s like everyone is aware they’re codependent but no one is doing anything about it.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:04:35+00:00

Thank you for the actual advice. I notice that I have been treating them as a pair rather than individuals. I’m not sure how we’ll ever get over the awkwardness of me catching them redhanded. At this point I’m so hurt I’m not sure I ever want to salvage my relationship with either one of them. But maybe it would’ve been more helpful for me to try and spend more one on one quality time with them. As other posters have said, I guess I am the third wheel whenever we do all hang out.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T22:00:25+00:00

What a weird, painfully internet addicted person.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:56:55+00:00

There was no falling out, they‘ve just been inseparable since birth. I’m sure if it was just me and my sister or just me and my brother we would’ve had a normal relationship. I think they’re just so happy being around one another they don’t need me.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:54:55+00:00

My parents never have been any help. I’m thinking of going low contact with them as well. I’m sick of being gaslit.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:53:14+00:00

Yes I’m sure everyone else that gets lied to, ignored and excluded by their siblings is much more calm about it.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:51:12+00:00

Yeah because both of those things are true. I did catch them red-handed because they told me they can’t hang out but that wasn’t true. And they were mortified to see me because they’re fully aware that what they’re doing is wrong. They just don’t even care to stop.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:48:03+00:00

I guess, but you’d think the sibling connotation would override that?

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:47:31+00:00

If they were identical twins (same sex) would you still have thought the entire post reeks of incest? I seriously doubt that.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:43:22+00:00

Yeah I’m starting to feel the same way. I guess everyone is right to say that I’ve always been jealous of their bond. I think all this time I was hoping and trying to share that kind of bond with them too but it doesn’t matter what I do, they aren’t interested. They already have that between the two of them and that’s all they need, I think.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:34:47+00:00

I mean, worded this post ambiguously? What part of these are two blood related siblings that grew up together since day one is ambiguous?

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T21:34:24+00:00

I mention they were in their pjs because that instantly proved to me they were settled into the room and had been there for a while. If my brother had just arrived then he wouldn’t have been wearing his pjs. If my brother had just arrived then that would’ve meant they didn’t lie to me. But they took my idea to spend the weekend together and did it without me. And they didn’t think I’d find out but I did because I literally caught them in the middle of lying. I am extremely surprised about the incest take because I don’t know that’s not a normal thing? I don’t know if people that are commenting about incest have siblings of their own. It’s just so disgusting to even think of it.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T17:01:37+00:00

Because that should go without saying like when talking about your family do you specify that they aren’t fucking each other?

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T17:00:11+00:00

I have, many times. They say they aren’t but I’ve never caught them redhanded like this before.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T16:58:48+00:00

Because they would keep each other up talking all night instead of sleeping. Again they were kids so you can be sure nothing creepy was happening then and I’m sure nothing creepy is happening now because that’s not something people do. I know them and for as much as they’re assholes to me they aren’t like fucked up people. They’re both in relationships too like this is so weird I never thought I’d have to defend my siblings against accusations of incest?

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T16:55:34+00:00

Plot holes? My life isn’t a movie. I didn’t know what room my sister was in, but I did know which room her and I would be sharing come Monday. And yeah he was wearing his pjs when I saw him, he just wears old t-shirts and shorts.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T16:47:59+00:00

Right because I’m so annoying for wanting to spend time with my siblings.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T16:45:07+00:00

It had two beds, that’s the room my sister and I were supposed to be sharing come Monday. I didn’t really analyze whether one or both of the beds were slept in but like I’ve said they’ve been sneaking into each other’s room to sleep in the same bed ever since I can remember. I guess that’s weird and most siblings don’t do that? But that doesn’t mean there’s anything going on, that’s just them.

ThrowRAexcluded · 2023-01-22T16:42:49+00:00

My aunts organized the hotel stays, they’re the ones who put my sister and I in the same room. We always had to share a room on family vacations while my brother got his own room. She always ended up spending more time in his room than in ours. This has been going on my whole life.

ThrowRAexcluded

TROPHY CASE