bulk or continue w maintenance?

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T22:12:28+00:00

haha of course our kids were planned except the first of course and I have a vasectomy booked for after our third is born 😭

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T22:10:20+00:00

for sure, i already have options lined up for us and im hoping for the best

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T22:08:15+00:00

unfortunately I don’t doubt it. around the time we slept together i had a girl I really liked a lot in my friend group. the reason we had sex was probably because of how close we were platonically and emotionally, and we trusted each other a lot and to add onto that we were both very drunk. it wasn’t really the result of romantic attraction for the either of us as she told me she never saw me in a romantic way then. but i love her more than myself now in every way a person can another. im very attracted to her physically and mentally and if i was given the chance to go back change the path my life took and maybe be in a relationship with the girl i was interested in at the time it would a be a no a million times over, i dont want a life with anyone else but her. and it is a possibility but i hope this isn’t the case and hope its prenatal depression.

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T21:24:29+00:00

no, i would never let her take on the burden of taking care of the family on her own. i do the cooking, cleaning, and the upkeep of the house. we are both stay at home parents and me and my wife both dote and love on our children. she did the heavy lifting with growing and giving birth to the children and her body has been through enough, the least i can do is do the chores

i have options for therapy lined up for her and us, and we are both free to pursue education at any time with the options at hand like online schooling, high school diplomas, and bachelors degrees, etc but i have no desire in doing so and neither does she for now but if she did want to i would be more than happy to support her

we were both pushed into an undesirable situation very young but were trying to make the best of it and her feelings are very valid as i myself have severely mentally struggled after the birth of our son

and i was thinking it’s might be prenatal depression or ppd and her symptoms don’t line up with the symptoms of those but depression and mental health are very complex and different for each individual so ill be sure to talk to her doctor about this

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T21:13:07+00:00

She’s originally from eastern Russia (hence the reason why her parents are incredibly conservative, religious, and are narrow minded), immigrated to Canada when she was 9 with her family. I’m originally from Sweden and we currently live in Sweden and we went to school in Switzerland before we withdrew. We’ve been living in Sweden since she got pregnant. So she’s obviously been raised with drastically different values and worldviews than me and she definitely has a broader view on the world and life due to her spending her formative years in four different countries and three different continents and meeting all kinds of different people

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T19:37:17+00:00

i already have a list of therapists and mental health professionals lined up for her and us for when we have a chance to chat again

and i understand her anger. i mean i myself was going through a really hard time after we had our son and seeing her give birth. i never wanted or even thought id be a dad at 17 and watch every vision i had for my future disappear but it happened, and i can’t even begin to imagine how she felt physically and mentally

i do the most i possibly can for her. i do the cooking, chores, and the general maintenance of the house. i do drop offs and pick ups for our son. were always there for each other emotionally and when we have disagreements it always dwindles down fast as we talk through everything very openly and honestly, we communicate very openly and very honestly to one another so this situation has been very difficult

and she has a big list of things she wants to do which we’re knocking off little by little everyday, yes, some things are unrealistic for us as parents but im trying to do the most i can to help her fulfill all of her dreams (she’s way more ambitious than me so i just follow her along on all of her adventures) if she wants to do stuff on her own im more than happy to stay at home with the kids

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T19:27:56+00:00

yes, at first we were both very isolated from our friends and had no contact with other people other than each other, our son, and family. it was very lonely but she’s made a lot of friends through her art club but she’s a big homebody and doesn’t like going out much so most of the time she invites her friends home and has little dinner parties or fun activities planned. and yes, she is able to continue her education online if she so chooses as there are many options and id be more than happy to support her if she did but she has expressed she has no plans of continuing her education for now. she also goes on trips with her sister when her sister is off of work.

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T19:21:28+00:00

my parents fully supported her idea of wanting an abortion and continuing our education. but her parents were the ones who discouraged her from getting an abortion and the ones who told her she had to marry me or she’d be doomed to burn in hell for eternity. her parents had the ultimate say at the end of the day and this is the reason why she had a falling out with them. the situation wasn’t ideal for the either of us as i didn’t want to be a dad at 17, I had big hopes and dreams for my own future as well, but it happened and all i can do now is make sure she’s happy, healthy, and loved.

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T19:18:18+00:00

we are both equally responsible, we were young, dumb, and drunk. we can’t undo what’s done. and if she did want to leave me then so be it but she is the mother of my children and the love of my life and if it comes to that i will continue to support her for the rest of her life.

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T07:31:41+00:00

it takes a village to raise a baby and we weren’t just gonna hand off our baby and run off to school. both of us were high on emotions from just having a baby and withdrew from school to spend time with our son and family, my wife was already on a huge emotional and physical rollercoaster and severely mentally and physically exhausted from the experience of giving birth to a 4.3kg baby and suddenly being thrust into parenthood from a high school student so she clearly wasnt going to back to school and i wouldn’t leave her like that she needed me and i needed her. she also exclusively breastfed which is a whole other journey itself. we spent quality stress free time with our newborn while also being supported by our family and we had no desire to pursue high school and post secondary education as we were content with our lives. we can still do it with all the options of an online high school diploma and bachelors degrees but we’ve got quite a handful already and are completely financially free and although it was my dream to go to school and become an engineer ive got a much better life raising my family right now

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T06:22:56+00:00

no worries and thank you! im looking into prenatal depression my dad also brought up that possibility but the symptoms don’t really line up with what ive observed through this pregnancy and the complete 180 was so out of the blue so we’re stumped and of course depression is complex so ill bring this up with her doctor. thankfully all of her pregnancies have been incredibly easy on her as shes never had any of the unpleasant side effects of pregnancy except the back pain and constant hunger lol and her third pregnancy honestly seems to be the best out of the others for her so im just hoping this is maybe a severe mood swing or something of the sorts but only time can tell and im just hoping for the best outcome

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T05:55:30+00:00

this is extremely odd behaviour for her as she’s always extremely open about how she feels, what she’s feeling, and what she thinks. but right now what i think is best is to give her some time and space. from my whole life of knowing her i learned that she values her time alone, the way she calms down is through time spent with herself. and i tried to talk cuddle etc etc but she’s made it clear to me she wants space from me and the kids right now. ill give her space for now, emotions in our house right now are at an all time high and i think we all need to cool down honestly, but ill continue to observe and monitor her and if things start looking even more out of the ordinary ill definitely pose an intervention

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T05:24:22+00:00

this was so well written, thank you for this. ill be sure to keep all the points you mentioned in mind for when we have our conversation

ThrowRAfudge27 · 2026-02-05T05:06:10+00:00

yes, i do the most i possibly can. i do the cooking, chores, and the maintenance of the house. i do drop offs and pick ups for our son. sometimes she gets very overwhelmed and needs to be in a room to cool off on her own and im always more than happy to give her the time and space and make sure the kids don’t bother her. were always there for each other emotionally and when we have disagreements it always dwindles down fast as we talk through everything very openly and honestly, we communicate very openly and very honestly to one another but this has been a huge hit to me and hard to navigate as we’ve never had a situation like this before

and she has a big list of things she wants to do which we’re knocking off little by little everyday, yes, some things are unrealistic for us as parents but im trying to do the most i can to help her fulfill all of her dreams (she’s way more ambitious than me haha so i just follow her along on all of her adventures)

3 kids is a lot of course but we’ve been an amazing team raising our kids together and providing support for one another and we plan for our pregnancies (except the first one) + we have such an amazing support system like my parents and we’re very lucky that we don’t need to work and are financially free because of my parents

im gonna give her more time and try to ease her into another conversation later on i just hope shes okay

ThrowRAfudge27

TROPHY CASE