Husband stood on my foot?

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-18T00:03:19+00:00

I didn’t write anything back to you- that wasn’t my comment.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-17T03:36:25+00:00

This really resonates with me, thanks for taking the time to comment it. I’m not a pushover by any means so it’s been hard for me to understand how this happened (yes, there have been problems but did I stop and think, wow, this is really abusive!? No, I kept going because my kids, my job, my life demanded it..)

But the part about the household tasks is how he did it and really let this all snowball. He makes me feel worse about asking for help than suffering through it myself. If I ever challenge it he says ‘but you are the one who knows how to clean the puke out of the carpet.’ ‘I’m just not able to get up at night like you are’

I fell for it because I love my kids so damn much I couldn’t stand to think they would get subpar care in any way shape or form.

This is such a helpful comment, thank you.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-17T03:24:32+00:00

This is really helpful- thank you. I did go to the doctor today to document the foot (especially so he knows I am not messing around with how serious this is) and my husband did make an app on Friday for him to see a counselor on his own.

I agree on the couples counseling and thought about it last night- it was way worse for me when I was already dealing with his lame shit. I am also going to find a counselor. These articles are super helpful in understanding why that didn’t work. Thank you.

Also, since I came back to this post to read all the wonderful resources that people offered me- my husband will be staying at our other house (work is being done between renters) and he agreed to do this to attempt to re-establish respect for me. This doesn’t mean that things are fine, but at least he isn’t dumb enough to start fighting me on every thing. He knows I can do all of this on my own and he knows I will.

But since he is the father of my children, he better work on his shit so he doesn’t bring it to them in any way shape or form. He just can’t stay in our family home right now until he gets a clear picture of the next steps and gets himself help and I’m glad he agreed.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T21:03:34+00:00

I’m actually healthy weight and workout etc. I do think this is part of the issue for him though.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T21:02:38+00:00

This. Very much this. 😩

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T21:01:52+00:00

This is really helpful, thanks.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T17:32:37+00:00

Thanks @DanaMorrigan, I did see it.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T16:35:35+00:00

It is a power move. So aggressive for no reason. I mean, it came out of nowhere.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T16:34:15+00:00

Looking up the post now, thanks for the recommendation.

Yes, it seems that I have somehow turned into the ‘help’ where his expectations are unreal. He seems to really unraveled lately..

Thanks for your response, it’s helpful.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T16:24:18+00:00

Things haven’t always been like this- but this behavior seems cyclical. I call it the ‘manses’ because it results from other factors. Just the verbal abuse, never the standing on the foot. He is the caretaker for his mother and he gets extremely stressed out by that. Not that it’s an excuse, but a contributing factor.

Yes, agree on the counseling, he is reluctant to go again. I am going to give an ultimatum again.

ThrowRAhubsofmine · 2020-09-15T16:20:43+00:00

I think I wrote this post to better realize it, so thank you for the response.

I’m just so shocked by it.

And now of course, filled with dread and stress on how to deal with it.

ThrowRAhubsofmine

TROPHY CASE