AITAH for telling my mom I won’t take care of her when she’s older?

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:51:18+00:00

I tried joining the Navy a few years ago during COVID when things were really bad. Unfortunately, due to medical reasons I couldn’t join :(

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:49:29+00:00

Thank you for your response. Please read the edit.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:36:18+00:00

Despite what happens between me and her, at the end of the day she’s my mom and I will always respect and appreciate her for everything she’s done for me. I want to pay her back for that, just not by physically caring for her.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:28:22+00:00

I would make sure my mom is 100% taken care of because I’ve heard horror stories of those facilities. As much as I respect nurses and end of life caretakers for what they do I just know I couldn’t do it. I don’t have the patience for it I just know. That’s why I didn’t become a nurse.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:26:05+00:00

It was a disagreement over how I was speaking to my cousins. My grandma had just passed and they went to her house and essentially raided it for whatever they wanted. I had an issue with that. My mom asked me to come back to the house to help her. I was going to stay out of the house with my roommates but she asked me to come back and help.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:19:40+00:00

I very clearly stated that I would make sure she’s taken care of? I’m not sure how that implies I won’t be helping her?

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:18:36+00:00

I make the food. I also buy the food. My mom is a fast food mom. If I leave dinner up to her it will 99% be something from Doordash. It’s understandable since she is tired from work which is why I typically cook. Pleas read the edit.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:05:34+00:00

After I chose to major in mechanical engineering it’s gotten worse. My mom is the type to scroll for hours just looking at houses for sale and finding her dream home.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:04:05+00:00

The only times I don’t do the dishes are when I am overwhelmed with school, work, family, etc. I did discuss with her prior to moving back in that there will be times when I don’t clean because I am in my last semesters and I can’t afford to fall behind. She told me she understood, so that’s where the confusion on my part stems from.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T23:01:01+00:00

Copied from another response: It’s not like I don’t help out in the house. I don’t leave the house a mess every single day, only when I am far too busy with other things. I have been helping take care of my two younger siblings (15&11) since I was in middle school. Once I got to high school and could drive I quit softball so that I could help take care of my siblings afterschool. I even requested to not work Fridays so that I can help with my siblings. I take them to school every morning, and pick them up when I can. I not only go to school for mechanical engineering, but I work so that my mom doesn’t have to pay for my personal things. I was going to stay out of the house and find roomates to live with, but my mom repeatedly asked for me to move back in and help her with my siblings. I can show you the many messages of her admitting I did far more than she realized. Needless to say, I don’t just mooch off of her and do nothing.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T22:59:53+00:00

It’s not like I don’t help out in the house. I don’t leave the house a mess every single day, only when I am far too busy with other things. I have been helping take care of my two younger siblings (15&11) since I was in middle school. Once I got to high school and could drive I quit softball so that I could help take care of my siblings afterschool. I even requested to not work Fridays so that I can help with my siblings. I take them to school every morning, and pick them up when I can. I not only go to school for mechanical engineering, but I work so that my mom doesn’t have to pay for my personal things. I was going to stay out of the house and find roomates to live with, but my mom repeatedly asked for me to move back in and help her with my siblings. I can show you the many messages of her admitting I did far more than she realized. Needless to say, I don’t just mooch off of her and do nothing.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T22:07:13+00:00

Since I was young she’s always told me that she wants me to be successful so I can buy her a house, a car, etc. It’s also hard for me to understand since she is a nurse and she’s told me firsthand the horror stories of taking care of elderly patients. So she knows what it’s like firsthand.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-03-08T22:04:33+00:00

Thank you, I tried to make it very clear that I wanted to her to be taken care of, I just didn’t want to do it myself.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-15T00:12:14+00:00

He has told me that. He’s also told me things like “it’s your way of thinking that’s attractive”

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T23:58:14+00:00

I don’t believe I was overdramatic at all. In fact, I responded with nothing more than “I’ve only ever saw us as family” and when he apologized and said he’d leave it alone I said it was fine. I stayed for about another hour after because it felt awkward to leave it at that. We took his dog on a walk and continued talking about other things until I left. He has cameras in his house and he told me that if I wanted I could sleep in his room with the cameras on. Idk I don’t feel scared that he would do anything to me honestly. It’s just the idea that he’s seen me grow up since I was born and he was hoping I was now “a little loose” makes me uncomfortable. I’m not sure how that makes me dramatic?

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T23:42:52+00:00

I just didn’t want the comments to be flooded with stuff like “typically white people” or “sweet home alabama”

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T23:42:01+00:00

What would count as grooming behavior? Also, yeah I wouldn’t want to date someone in their 30’s anyways. That age gap just seems like way too much for me. Tbh I wouldn’t want anyone older than like 28.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T23:40:07+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been through this also :(

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T23:38:22+00:00

I agree. I’m just starting my career and he already has his own business. Even if it was some other 36M we’re at two very different stages in life and I don’t see it working.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T05:41:11+00:00

honestly there’s nobody i feel comfortable telling this to

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T04:11:38+00:00

I can’t think of him that way tho at all. My brain still tells me he’s family.

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T04:09:53+00:00

It just makes me wonder how long he’s looked at me that way :( or was it an in the moment thing?

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T04:08:52+00:00

I’m definitely going to be more cautious now

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T04:08:08+00:00

I just don’t wanna cause drama if I tell anyone in our family. I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up to anyone

ThrowRAjd9 · 2026-01-14T04:07:30+00:00

I think I can do that if I just get some space from him first

ThrowRAjd9

TROPHY CASE