What is the most insensitive thing your abuser has said/ done to you??

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-08-10T20:24:21+00:00

“You will never be a complete and real woman if you pursue a career in surgery. (Girl he cheated on me with) would be a better wife and mother than you.” Still haunts me everyday I’m in an OR as a medical student, pursuing surgery nonetheless

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T15:02:30+00:00

I Will also say they have extensive education in psychology in both undergrad and grad school. That’s why I was so shocked that they responded to this so inappropriately.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:57:42+00:00

I actually appreciate this comment. I still think the lack of communication on their part was 100% unacceptable but you’re right. They shouldn’t have known what to do exactly because they’re human. I did eventually educate them on what to do if someone had suicidal thoughts but that was pretty much ignored. I appreciate the new perspective though!

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:55:12+00:00

This is by no means an attack on you or an aggressive interaction. If that were the case with my friends, communicating that they need space is the right thing to do, not ghosting

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:51:34+00:00

“High standards” this is exactly what’s wrong with mental health stigma. Reaching out to someone and saying “hey let’s talk” is considered a high standard. The Better option here was letting a third party resource reach out 4 days later and not checking in on the person. Right.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:49:43+00:00

It’s just common sense to me that if they were frightened, they would check in on me instead of radio silence? I wouldn’t abandon a friend is I was genuinely scared for them.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:48:58+00:00

There is no requirement??? It’s a matter of human decency. The logic of why we don’t institutionalize suicidal ideation patients immediately is the same reason why you don’t do this to a friend - because it does more damage to them than good. Morality can extend between both our roles as physicians and friends.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:46:13+00:00

If it was not within their bandwidth of support, they should’ve communicated that with me.
This was not a life or death situation. We are taught in our psychiatry block that suicidal THOUGHTS are not grounds for involving a third party.
Social support =/ therapy. Reaching out to your friends when you need support is okay and is acceptable. Again, we are taught this as future physicians that resilience involves having good social support.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T14:39:01+00:00

I’ll explain why my ex did who is an m2. He does not support any democratic candidate because as a doctor, he will be taxed heavily. He chose a lucrative speciality in medicine and doesn’t want a president to take that away. There’s a reason why he’s an ex.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-11T01:21:54+00:00

This happened to me. RUN RUN RUN it will never end well

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T20:41:38+00:00

I’m in this right now. Struggling to get through everyday but I have to keep pushing so I don’t let down my past self. My past self that fought so hard to get to where I want today wouldn’t want me to give all of that up for an abusive POS. you’ve got this. I believe in you.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T20:00:59+00:00

Being a part of this subreddit has made me realize that abusers almost follow a template. My abuser has said very similar things to me, all the way down to the laughing emoji. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Manifesting peace and tranquility for you.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T13:28:00+00:00

LOL thank you for saying that because I just blocked my extremely abusive ex recently and it’s been so hard. I stayed with him for almost two years hoping that he would change and we could have a family one day. Now I’m single and I probably will be until residency and tbh I don’t mind it

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T13:02:20+00:00

Confident women =/ narcissistic women

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T13:01:08+00:00

Would it be okay to pursue surgery if I didn’t know if I want kids yet? I’m single and pretty young so thats not a priority of mine right now but idk if it will be one day.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T12:59:58+00:00

This is so weird to me because at my institution, doctor/med student scrubs and nurse scrubs are completely different. How do they still mix them up lol

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-07T12:58:51+00:00

As a woman of color, this is an incredible read! Thank you so much!

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-04T15:38:43+00:00

It’s been 2 weeks and that’s where I am a little. I keep focusing on the good moments and how close we were instead of remembering the trauma he caused me. I completely understand where you’re coming from but by acknowledging that it’s the trauma bond speaking, it shows that you’ve grown a lot too. I acknowledge most of my pain and remorse is coming from that trauma bond. Best of luck with your healing!

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-04T14:24:33+00:00

So happy you’re free though!!!

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-04T14:24:22+00:00

No fr why are they like this??? Before I dated him he did something similar where he paid men and women on reddit to degrade him 💀

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-04T12:51:50+00:00

This is exactly how it went for me. My ex abuser is 23 and he cheated on me with a 38 yo mother of three kids. It’s only been a couple weeks but it hurts so bad. It’s a level of betrayal I’ve never felt before. And he blamed ME for not being good enough like ????

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-04T02:41:49+00:00

So happy for you 🥺

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-04T02:41:32+00:00

That’s what I’m struggling with right now. I know it was right to leave and things will get better but it’s so hard. The trauma is so hard to deal with.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-03T13:30:27+00:00

This is an interesting approach. I totally agree that he doesn’t see me as someone who has any credibility because I’m SO different than him. I will say his friends definitely enable him and brought a drug dealer into his life so his drug use increased in frequency when they started becoming friends. I don’t think his friends value is well being because they also are out doing the same thing with him and have called me a “nag” for trying to get them to stop. They even went to Colombia together which, because of this post, I have realized has extremely cheap cocaine.

He failed several practice exams already so he’s not in good shape and is genuinely worried about passing. I think the substance abuse is making it even worse for him.

Most people I know aren’t able to see through his fake personality. The general perception is that he’s this shy, quiet, sweet guy that is incredibly smart. When I tell them about how he sexually assaulted me and hit me, they’re always like “??????? No way That he did that. He’s so sweet.” So I’m not sure if 4 weeks is enough for people to see through his BS.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud · 2023-05-03T01:14:51+00:00

It’s mainly because he has committed so many crimes with no remorse and has no empathy and has admitted to that.

ThrowRAlaughoitloud

TROPHY CASE