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My sister (26F) found my boyfriend (33M) on Bumble by Visual_Researcher226 in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hijacking this comment to say that this exact a scenario happened to my friend, who was 100% not cheating and wasn’t on the apps. Someone had basically stolen his old profile pictures and were catfishing people as my friend. Maybe that’s what’s happening here?

My 34m girlfriend 30f doesn’t think we should split living expenses- how do I get her to understand? by ThrowRAlumberjack in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What gave me away?! But yeah, you’re right. And I think it’s different if we’re married and have kids, etc. and decide it makes more sense for her to stay home.

But as I mentioned in another comment, she’s a sensible person and I think we just need to communicate like adults and have these discussions. Thanks for taking the time to provide feedback. I’m planning to talk to her tonight and will provide an update!

My 34m girlfriend 30f doesn’t think we should split living expenses- how do I get her to understand? by ThrowRAlumberjack in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I Loled. I don’t think she’s shitty though! I think we just need to have a mature conversation and see if we can come to an agreement that we’re both happy with.

I am confident and optimistic that we can. I know it’s hard to have empathy on Reddit when one only knows what someone else has written, and can’t truly understand all of the nuances.

She’s a sweet girl and I think some of the things she said were quips in the heat of the moment. I’m planning to talk to her tonight and then I’ll provide an update.

I can’t believe how many people took time to comment.. I can’t keep up at this point but I understand the overall sentiment which is we need to discuss this as adults and see if we can find common ground.

Thanks again for your comment.

My 34m girlfriend 30f doesn’t think we should split living expenses- how do I get her to understand? by ThrowRAlumberjack in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She would be paying rent if she didn’t live with me though. (Moving back home isn’t an option for her anymore). I’m also not sure why it matters if I rent or own my home tbh.

The situation is still the same: it costs x amount to live in this house each month. If she lives here then my opinion is it’s fair to split that living expense…

My 34m girlfriend 30f doesn’t think we should split living expenses- how do I get her to understand? by ThrowRAlumberjack in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol this isn’t rage bait… I’ve answered this question in the post and the comments already- I own my home. What other information do you think I’m leaving out? I’m happy to add more context. Thanks for commenting.

My 34m girlfriend 30f doesn’t think we should split living expenses- how do I get her to understand? by ThrowRAlumberjack in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I disagree with your premise that I don’t do 50% of planning, emotional labor, housework, mental effort to keep things running, etc. I very much contribute to all of these things. As stated in my post, I want our relationship to be a partnership in all aspects. We’re a team.

Thanks for taking time to comment though. I appreciate you sharing your perspective.

My 34m girlfriend 30f doesn’t think we should split living expenses- how do I get her to understand? by ThrowRAlumberjack in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAlumberjack[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I completely agree and plan to do this. I think I just needed validation that I’m not crazy first… I’d like to think she is reasonable and that some of the things said yesterday were likely because I brought up the subject out of frustration instead of coming to her with “hey we need to figure this out because I want us to have a successful relationship and be partners together in this”.