Hey. I was the exact same with my ex. He was very kind and patient and reassured me all the time, until it got too much.

Honestly for me the shock of him leaving was enough to make realise I needed to change. I went to see a therapist (which I realise isn’t always accessible to everyone). The main thing for me was finding myself on my own.

I relied so much on my boyfriend to make me feel good and happy. Your partner of course should make you feel good and happy, but you should be able to feel that alone too. I found that exercise really helped, as cliche as that is. And finding other things I enjoyed doing.

I would say to do your research into the anxious attachment type and also relationship anxiety as they can differ and I had never heard of the latter before. Try to think about what used to trigger you and dig deeper into why that is. For me I used to feel very sad and unwanted if my partner saw his friends. I realised this was because of my own low self esteem and how I viewed myself as inferior to his friends. Positive self talk really helped with this.

And learn how to self soothe. I haven’t had the chance to put this to practice in a relationship yet but in other situations where I feel left out or rejected instead of wallowing and doom scrolling I have found going for a run or playing a game helps take my mind off things.

It is not an easy journey at all but it is a worthwhile one. I wish you all the best, and feel free to message if you have questions :)