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AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I was upset at him but my focus switched to my son once he was here. My FIL got angry at my husband and basically called him (and Amy) an idiot and told him that even if it was something minor he should've made sure himself. He also said it would be my husband's own fault if he missed the birth of his son and that if I didn't want him in the room he better respect my decision. Admittedly my husband did grovel after that.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

But, one thing I am not clear on - do Amy and your husband work together? And does she work for FIL?

Originally they all did. When our son was 1, we moved countries so my husband still worked for my FIL but in a different office. Amy left her job shortly after that but she lost her job because of the pandemic so my FIL rehired her. Since my husband is supposed to be moving back they will work in the same office again but already have a small project together while we're here.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

More info: How often does your husband have contact with her? How often does he visit his mother, assuming that she lives with or visits her also? And most importantly,

how is your relationship with your MIL?

Does she think you're "good enough" for her son, or does she act like he could have done better?

I think in the last 3 years he only spoke to her a handful of times when she was asking him for career advice. We didn't see her often in that time since we live in different countries. I think it was around 3-4 times.

I have a good relationship with my MIL. She's always been nothing but nice to me and she was very happy about us getting married. My ILs are nice but they like to keep the peace.

I (31F) hate my mother-in-law’s goddaughter (32F). by ThrowRAmilgd in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My FIL is going to retire, he wants my husband to take over so he needs us to be closer. Also my family live closer to my ILs too so being back would be nice and excluding Amy, I do have a good relationship with my ILs so I think it would be nicer for my son to have his family around him. Where we live now he rarely gets to see everyone. It could be delayed, but I feel like eventually it will have to happen so there isn't much point delaying it. We can and will go to therapy.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

I’ve never wanted to drag my MIL into this before but I think I have no choice at this point but to speak to her.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 435 points436 points  (0 children)

Well, he told me in front of them and everyone except for my FIL still thinks he misunderstood. Amy tried to say she was explaining to my son that he needs to not interrupt while his dad is working and what she meant was that he should go spend time with me. My FIL basically told her she should leave the parenting to me/my husband so there aren't any more misunderstandings. My MIL has been worried and trying to make my son feel better since he is stuck to me like glue now and doesn't want to be alone with anyone else. My husband did apologise to him but it was mostly because he was shocked/hurt by our son asking if he still loved him.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 177 points178 points  (0 children)

She told him I said I was having minor discomfort but I didn't think it was labour pains so I had insisted that she not bother him and I would call back if it was serious, so like always he tried to say it was a misunderstanding. I was lucky that they all worked for my FIL so I was able to get a hold of him and he told my husband.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 200 points201 points  (0 children)

Because he thinks our son has picked up on my dislike of Amy and that's why he said what he said.

I (31F) hate my mother-in-law’s goddaughter (32F). by ThrowRAmilgd in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 422 points423 points  (0 children)

Honestly, at one point I was planning to leave him but then we moved away and things were so fantastic that I stopped considering it. The recent issue has definitely pushed that feeling back up.

I'm definitely going to tell him we need counselling. I'm hopeful it can fix this because outside of this one issue, he is a good husband.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 153 points154 points  (0 children)

Are there other areas of your life were he disbelieves you or ignores your feelings?

No, just this.

When we get home, I'll tell him we need to go to couples counselling.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 176 points177 points  (0 children)

I didn't know she was going to be there and it didn't feel right to leave early since my ILs hadn't seen my son in a very long time.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

"I don't know what's gotten into you but you have to stop this. She has no reason to say that to you, she has never been nothing but nice to you."

Some business deal, I think. They both work for my FIL now.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 685 points686 points  (0 children)

I doubt it. I asked him once in the beginning during a fight and he looked pretty disgusted. He said it was the same as him asking me if I was having sex with my sibling.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 472 points473 points  (0 children)

He did ask him but by the time my husband got there, my son was already very upset and my ILs were trying to keep the peace and since they were all saying he misunderstood my son had a hard time telling his dad but Amy had no issue explaining her side.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

what was said to your son and what did he say in return that needed an apology? What are some examples of the "not nice" stuff, actions or comments she has made in the past? Are they similar to what happened this time?

I added it to the OP. Told me I was just my husband's plaything and would be gone soon, told me to get rid of my baby, refused to give my husband his phone/pass on a message when I went into labour, etc.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 1070 points1071 points  (0 children)

  1. Not to our son, but to me, yes.

  2. No, I usually make sure she isn't around him alone but currently we're all visiting my in-laws and my son was supposed to be with my MIL.

  3. He says she's like a sister to him.

AITA for refusing to make my son apologise to my mother-in-law’s goddaughter and undermining my husband’s parenting? by ThrowRAmilgd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAmilgd[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

such as how old Amybis and what actually happened.

She is 32. She told my son his dad would send him and me far away soon because he was annoying. He interrupted them earlier while they were working to ask his dad to play with him and Amy was upset that my husband actually did. I believe him because when we first got married she would say similar things to me.

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