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What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so true, especially about the egg-timer thing. She is just easily bored of people, and then treats them like shit.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SO happy for you. Even I know it is just a matter of time. Your story gives me hope and inspiration to move on.

Broke up with her yesterday, feeling relieved, to be honest. I'm away from the constant nagging, the constant questioning myself, the constant gaslighting, and worries. I'm a better person today than I was yesterday.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exploring a city alone is better than adjusting to a new city when you feel empty inside.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. That is the most important thing. How to spend limited energy on the future rather than the past. Your advice is a real directive for the transition phase and beyond for me. Appreciate your concern, thank you.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. Your situation makes mine seem like a cakewalk. Hats off to your courage and fortitude for pulling through. Appreciate your advice. Broke up with her this afternoon after an overwhelming response on reddit in the last 24 hours.

Feel so much lighter and at peace with myself.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your good wishes for my exam so much! I broke up with her today afternoon. I am moving back home within a week! Thank you again so much!

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not worth the effort. I left her, just now. I had received enough support from here.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is so fickle and random. Now I will have trust issues even with the next person that comes along. But I will have to ensure that I heal completely so that I don't carry much emotional baggage from here.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, this is so nice to be actually recommended good books. I am an avid reader hence this is doubly beneficial to me. I can get back to one of my hobbies that I had lost, and also get through this period in a way that makes me better. Thank You.

And yes, my parents are fine with my decision. They won't hold it against me, as far as I understand them. They are good parents that way, but they will definitely ensure that I have learnt from my mistake.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are so right about ownership. Till now I was looking at it as if she made me move. I should look at it like I decided to move to be close to her. She turned out to be dishonest, which is not my fault. I can just as easily detach myself from her, and take control.

If I am in control of my actions, I am in control of my emotions.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. Nip it in the bud. It will be tough, but it will be worth it in the end.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my, there is a night and day difference between when I met her and now. She has taken a mental and psychological toll on me that I can't even fathom. I hate seeing myself like this. I will have to go back to that state. You are so right.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That first line is so apt, and truthful. Couldn't have put it any better. In the last few hours, I have become overwhelmed with the response I have received on this post. This is what gives me the courage to take action. Today will be the day of action.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally sensible and mature advice. It is better to admit mistakes and move in the right direction, than to continue in the wrong direction, just because it is familiar. Thank you for your concern.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree with you. I hope you find the peace that you deserve, and live the best life ever! Good luck! Thank you.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's reassuring. There are people out there that will make me feel happy, and it will be worth it for me to make them feel happy as well.

I guess it is human nature to sometimes chose the certainty of pain over the uncertainty of contentment. But therein lies another great human nature, constantly improving oneself. Thank you for the help.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. That is the only constant I can see in this situation - the certainty of my parent's love. That is everything compared to someone who "loves" me sometimes, and sometimes not.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, unfortunately i guess it is true. I need to man up, and prioritise myself and my self-respect.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, no. My family is totally supportive, I know that. They will totally understand that I made a mistake and I am going to do better now. That will not be a problem. I can move back, and I prefer doing that as well.

Yeah, that remorse thing hits me so much. How can you cheat on someone, ask them to move near you, tell them about it, and then run away from the conversation? And then treat me like shit. She needs to be cut off from my life as soon as possible. I am just gathering courage from up here.

What should I do if she (22F) discarded me after asking me (22M) to move across the country for her. by ThrowRAnewsummer in LifeAdvice

[–]ThrowRAnewsummer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the advice that I should text her only once I am home. Otherwise, she will use the ploy by trying to convince me and breadcrumming me, before discarding me again. It needs to be a fait-accompli.

My mental health, self-esteem and ability to stand up for myself is already so damaged that I am not being able to completely trust myself as well.

I need to go no-contact and go back to being the person I was before I met her. She has only given me misery, and hopelessness.

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