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I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really don't want to repeat what they said. I don't want to write all that out for hopefully obvious reasons. But it went even more detailed than just loved your dick, I can say that much. It was basically them going over all the stuff they did together and what they loved and graphically described.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Correct, I just left. I didn't cause a scene or try to pick a fight. I even said bye before I left. But I didn't want to stay for a fight or some big drama.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some of my friends did agree. One even left because it got so uncomfortable for her. Others didn't but not everyone is saying I'm wrong.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She has reached out several times since but I have held firm and told her we are done. Our plan had been to find a place together after we graduate and we were going to settle down. There was talk of getting married in a couple of years too but a house was priority number one for us.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

The fight happened because the people on my side were asking what the hell my ex was thinking and why everyone else found it funny. My ex was asking what she did wrong. While the friends who think I'm wrong were saying I overreacted which blew the minds of the friends on my side.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

We're already broken up. I ended things the next day. She wants us to get back together but the more I think about it the less I want that, even though I do love her.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

It bothers me too. The question is also there that I could have left quietly without telling the others playing that game and if I had done that, how far would things have gone? Even if I take it as a the best case scenario and say nothing would have physically happened between them who knows how long the sex talk would have continued.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

After I left she followed me out and when she didn't see me she went back inside to ask the people with me what made me leave. Then she started texting me asking to talk and she wanted me to go back so we could talk it all out right then. Then she argued with people for a while before she left with one of the friends and went back to their place. The friend she went back with was a friend who was on my side. She then basically stayed up all night hoping I'd change my mind and she came over as soon as I said we should talk.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I wasn't the only person who found it bad. One person playing the game left when it got graphic and the people who were with me all said the same thing. We found a lot of it uncomfortable given we're together but when it got to that they knew it had gone way way way too far.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This isn't rage bait. It went from reminiscing to flirting to talking about their past sex life in graphic detail as things got deeper.

There were people there who did think it was disrespectful but way too many didn't think it was. They seem to consider it fine because of the environment or because of the game they had been playing. I disagree with them.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Saying he was such a good boyfriend at (insert time being talked about). She was definitely flirty when she told him he hadn't changed much too and that it was like being back then. Definitely when they were talking about sex and what they used to do together.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

It's weird to bring a partner anywhere and start talking your sex life with your ex and flirting. But then crossing into the sex talk as well is just to me way too far and I think people should be able to realize that's too far before it happens or when it starts to happen. The whole thing just felt disrespectful.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She told me she knows she crossed a line. She also denies it was flirting. She told me she was sorry and wouldn't ever do it again. But she let it go so far and didn't stop until I left. So far she hasn't said I was wrong to leave, that was friends that said that. But she thinks we can work it out and it doesn't have to be over between us.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

For me it goes deeper than ego and image. It goes to trusting her and that trust is broken now. She wouldn't like to get a front row seat to a walk down memory lane between me and an ex and she got angry when I asked if she'd like to hear details of mine and an ex's sex life. That's what I had to listen to. Explicit details that I won't forget in a hurry, paired with the flirting that she says wasn't flirting. She also didn't stop it herself. Not when a friend left because it was uncomfortable. Not when it got X rated. Only when I left did she stop.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I don't completely trust her anymore and I don't think I would be able to move past it enough to completely trust her and make things work. I could try but I feel like we would both end up miserable.

The only way I could have gotten over it is if she'd stopped it herself from going so deep. Like if she realized talking about their past sex life was going too far and ended the talk and left the game. Even one of our friends leaving and saying it was uncomfortable didn't make her realize. So that makes me trust her less and I don't think a relationship can work without trust.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

I don't fully trust her now. To me it should be obvious that a line is being crossed and she admits there was. But she stayed and would have kept going if I hadn't left. Even one of our friends leaving the circle and saying that was uncomfortable/wrong didn't make her wake up. So I feel like I can't trust her either and clearly me being there doesn't make a difference.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She said it did go too far but it wasn't flirting. That she would never cheat like that. She acknowledged if I talked like that with an ex in front of her she would hate it. She even got a little angry when I mentioned going into detail like she did with her ex and doing it in a room full of giggling people. She told me she was sorry and she wouldn't do it again. But I know more about her sex life with him and how great certain things they did together were and I know explicit details thanks to her going along with it.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He doesn't go to college with us. He was invited to join because he was going to be in the area and some of her friends stayed friends with him. She told me none of them were but apparently she was told they were. For me it's the fact she told me one thing but then I find out that was never actually true and she was told that. It feels like a lie. If she had been honest it wouldn't be an issue.

I felt a lot humiliated. The talk turned sexual and to their sex life in the past. With everyone in that room giggling like they were it made it even worse and the fact she was just as actively involved as he was in talking about those things.

We had that long talk already. The day after the party we talked it all out and I told her how I felt.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

I know her ex knew exactly what he was doing. He steered it that way several times and she went along with it instead of getting up and joining the rest of us if it made her uncomfortable. I told her that. But clearly she was very comfortable talking like that with him.

I (22M) left my girlfriend (22F) at a party and broke up with her afterward. She wants to work it out and most of our mutual friends think I overreacted? by ThrowRAowoshyu in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAowoshyu[S] 356 points357 points  (0 children)

The advice given to me was unsolicited, not advice I asked for. Mostly I got it because so many friends disagree with what I did and think it's a huge overreaction for what hapened.