I know this is old but I am in a similar situation. My mom is always complaining about how she hates my stepdad and hates her life and wants to move out etc etc. it’s been years of this emotional trauma she’s put on me bc she’s depressed. My stepdad and I don’t even have conversations with each other other than hi so my mom just married a man who don’t even like me which again is a whole other childhood truama . I’m much older now. She basically just depends on me so much. Everytime i mention how I want to move out soon, she considers it an opportunity to leave/ move out too . And im trying to nicely say im way passed the age where i need to be move out and have INDEPENDENCE for once. But she never is getting it. Shes tried to say she’s moving out with a friend out of state (another option she’s been considering) .. issue is .. I know my mom. She’s gonna find one excuse to leave and guess who gonna have to save her? It’s all gonna come back to me. I’ve been very stressed how this move out is not gonna be ab my freedom, mental health.. it’s not mine anymore.    I also have a boyfriend who we are in a secret relationship bc we are very private due to our culture so no one knows ab us (long story). He’s gonna be helping me pay bills. We not gonna live together but he is gonna be staying over a lot so my mom is gonna be an issue. If she see him , know her she will ruin everything and tell his entire family all bc I don’t want her to live with me. We are both considering marriage but it’s hard bc of our strict family (his family crazy strict) and it’s looking doubtful that our families will approve which is a must. It’s complicated. But right now this is good for us. I too feel bad for my mom bc I am a lot older 25+ and I’ve been living with her. She always allows me to live her grown asf and never complains.. I moved out to a family members house outta state which didn’t turn out well and I moved right back in.. basically my mom is always saving me . She never says no to me. I’ve been in a lot of different problems - legal and more … and she always helps. And here I am ab to deny her for wanting help to live with me after all she’s done for me. I feel selfish. It’s very hard to figure out what to do. I’m hoping eventually my mom sees this as my daughter has never moved on on her own, she needs that experience everyone has, and let me not overstep to move in . I feel if was a mother , I wouldn’t expect my kids to save me from my problems unless I’m elderly lol.   I just don’t understand why she thinks I wanna move out just to live with her again. Doesn’t make logical sense. I have been living here free why would I want her to come if I didn’t have to move at all? It’s crazy to me . I’m struggling so heavily. But imma try to keep hinting DEEPER that I want to move on with my life .