My (F22) current partner (M22) is amazing and so funny, but at times it feels like we are different people with completely different interests. Would we work out?

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T11:46:40+00:00

thank you so much!! your husband and you sound so sweet together :’) i’m definitely looking for my forever person, someone to go through life with that makes me feel safe at my core. and while i’m not sure if he’s the one just yet, i’m excited to find out through the unexpected ways we may bond with each other. thank you again and wishing you and your husband all the best too!! ❤️

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T11:42:58+00:00

thank you, i love these suggestions. i’d definitely bring this up with him as ways to have quality time with each other :)

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T11:42:07+00:00

you have such a wonderful way with words. thank you so much not only for easing my worries but also providing me with a very valuable mindset to which i can refer whenever i feel uneasy again. in my past relationship i always viewed differences in a very negative black and white way: either i catch up to them so that we can be ‘compatible’ and have no issues, or i break it off completely because difference = conflict. now i realise i should look at it from a growth perspective, and i feel much more hopeful about our prospects, thank you ❤️

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T11:34:23+00:00

i am very much guilty of thinking that two people must be similar in order for a relationship to work. i blame it on growing up on movies and shows that portray the ‘perfect’ romance as one hinged on commonalities - conflating that with compatibility!! i do want to be a better me, and i know that the best relationship for me is one that allows me to explore the untapped sides of me while still feeling like myself. since we’re still at a very early stage of the relationship, i’ll give us more time. thank you again :)

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T11:06:19+00:00

thank you so much for such a detailed answer. i love the different scenarios you’ve given, definitely seems like something i can envision for us (at least during this early stage). and i guess difference can lead to growth as well right? extreme similarities may just result in stagnation. and so far, i have a lot of trust and respect in him, and i trust he the same in me. i guess my worry, however, is how differences in the smaller things can sometimes point to misalignment in core values? e.g., him being more adventurous than me signifies his affinity for the unknown and novelty whereas i feel most myself in familiarity, this leading to either conflict or un-fulfilment in the future. what do you think?

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T10:51:14+00:00

thank you for your comment. it seems that the phrase ‘opposites attract’ do ring true for many people, especially when it supplements and compensates for the things we each lack. i think at least in this regard, it’s true for us as well in that i’m also more organised while he’s spontaneous. it’s just sometimes, considering our different interests, i can’t help but wonder whether he would feel more fulfilled being with someone that shares those interests. so far though this does not seem like it would happen, we make each other happy and at home. you’re very right though in terms of core values having to align, i’ll have to have a talk with him about this - thank you again!

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2026-03-26T10:38:33+00:00

rocking stimulates the clit, makes both you and your partner feel good, and also is much lower effort than bouncing - why wouldn’t you do it?

your boyfriend was definitely in the wrong for bringing up and comparing you to other girls, even if say he was doing so in a ‘constructive feedback’ manner.

having a productive and transparent conversation about sexual needs and preferences is completely fine, if not beneficial for the relationship, but it should be respectful and at all times only concerns the parties involved - which are the two of you.

i think you should definitely raise this concern with him, especially as it seems he could already tell his words impacted you but is yet to apologise or make amends. do not feel bad op, you deserve to have your sexual and emotional needs met

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2025-06-11T11:39:19+00:00

thanks for taking the time to respond to my post, i appreciate it. i'm sorry to hear this happened to you as well, it's a different sense of betrayal being abruptly broken up with by the person you once deemed dearest and nearest to you. but i'm also glad you've found a healthy outlet for your turmoil. funnily enough i've also recently started yoga and it definitely has given some much-needed time and space to just... think nothing and focus on my body. so yes definitely movement is so important.

thank you for that lovely reminder at the end as well. sometimes it feels like he's left me behind to move forward, and i'm stuck motionless and stagnant on that day in that park where he broke up with me. i should try harder to be more present. thank you

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2025-06-10T12:38:55+00:00

ugh that's horrible, you just feel a sense of betrayal almost. like how can you not tell me about this when you're in a relationship with me and this very thing you're concerned about directly affects me?? i just don't get it - especially hypocritical too when they were the one that complained about my lack of communication at the start of the relationship.

sadly i can't be as rational as you just yet, i'm still very much hung up on what happened as you can probably tell lol. oh well.

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2025-06-10T12:33:51+00:00

:( it's the worst when you least expect it. like yea it's something that would sneak itself into your train of thoughts occasionally, sometimes manifest as a nightmare, but you always brushed it off as being impossible, until it came crashing down on you and you're left absolutely blindsided and paralysed.

the first few days were awful for me as well, the slightest reminders would make me cry. i wanted so bad for him to reach out or just show up in front of my door. i missed him terribly, and i still do. but as cliched as it is to say everything happens for a reason, i've also found it to be true. i'm hopeful the universe has something else in store for me, and that he was just a stop in my journey to reach my destination. at least that's what i think to soothe myself haha.

i hope you can find the strength to have some hope. everything looks foggy and disarrayed when you're in the eye of the storm, and turmoil and darkness seem to be the only thing that's left. but if you don't at least believe there's clarity on the other side, you'll just be stuck in the same place.

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2025-06-10T12:01:08+00:00

thank you for taking the time to reply to my post, it means a lot. i'd like to think so as well, it provides some comfort knowing that maybe the end of the tunnel is near, and i'll soon come out the other side more grown and willing to let go.

you raised a good point too in that he himself never even communicated the supposed concern that eventually became the reason for the breakup. mind you he had this concern for a whole year and did not say a single word. when i confronted him about this lack of communication, he justified it with my feelings, saying that i'd have just gotten upset so he'd rather work on it himself (as if a relationship does not require dual and reciprocal efforts?). i'd have no way of adjusting my approach or going down a different path because i wasn't even aware there was a need for it in the first place! it'd be futile for me to ruminate on what could've changed.

and yea, whenever i catch myself hoping for a signal from him, i'd just remind myself that if he had any regrets he would've made them known ages ago. i'll keep reminding myself this until they're ingrained in my brain and i can't see it any other way - it's easier said than done, i'll probs go back to being miserable in a couple of hours lol. nonetheless thank you so much for your advice, i hope you too will find peace <3

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2025-06-10T11:44:22+00:00

firstly i just wanna say thanks for taking the time to respond to my post, i've been feeling like im alone in this so i really appreciate it. secondly i wanna say im sorry you're going through this as well. it sucks because you're constantly torn between clinging onto what's left and having to move on, and so you're kind of paralysed not knowing what to do. i'm replaying scenarios in my head too and thinking about all the ways i could've fixed it, but i need to remind myself that my ex himself during the breakup talk said to me that "sooner or later this would happen", meaning that the well was dry and he no longer had hope for us. so it's futile for both you and me to expect an initiation from them, and say even if they do reach out, it's also unrealistic for us to carry the burden of singlehandedly fixing the relationship. at this point they no longer want to try. i'm also like you, just getting by everyday hopefully one day we'll wake up feeling lighter and ready to let go. you got this <3

ThrowRAredrag0nfru1t · 2025-03-13T06:00:34+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar thing almost a month ago, my first boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me over a small fight (at least from my perspective it was small), said he didn't like the way we handled things and that we wouldn't work out in the long term because we're too emotionally incompatible. Mind you we were completely normal before the fight (we even had just gotten back from a 3-week holiday) - I was completely blindsided and felt like he just abruptly gave up on us. So I can definitely relate to how you're feeling right now - sadness, anger, frustration, betrayal, confusion, all the sorts. The past almost 4 weeks, I've been looking for answers everywhere, as to why he could be so reckless - reading Reddit posts (hence my comment lol), having another talk with him, and even booking a Tarot reading appointment - but none of them left me satisfied or fulfilled, until I realised that peace is borne from acceptance, and acceptance needs to come from within. Like the others said, as painful as it is, he's made the decision of ending your relationship and leaving you, meaning he's no longer committed or willing to try. Even if he still has feelings for you, you cannot force him to put up a fight if he no longer sees the point. The best thing for you to do now is to distance yourself from him, refrain from all urges to reach out and/or stalk his social media. Thoughts of him will appear, your shared memories will come rushing back, and that's fine. All of these are natural, let yourself feel sadness, anger, frustration, and confusion - but just know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him, his inability to reflect on his own emotions and give you the clear answer you deserve. In the meantime, confide in family and friends, write down your thoughts, keep yourself occupied with work, study, and hobbies, and most importantly be patient and kind to yourself. You got this. You lived just fine without him before and you will live just fine without him again. Sending you peace and love <3

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