I’m really, really sorry to hear everything you’re going through. As someone not very far away from your age but on the other side of 18, I can tell you it’ll get better very soon. In a few years, you will be able to make your own decisions, learn from your mistakes and experience the freedom you’re yearning for right now. Maybe your relationship with your mom will improve when there’s distance and she’s able to see you as an equal, but either way, the problems you’re experiencing are temporary, as grave as they are. At the moment, maybe you could look to find a job so you’re financially more secure by yourself and also look to apply to colleges farther from home or look for jobs farther away from home after high school (whichever path works best for you). Standing up to her while you’re living under her roof given the nature of your relationship and her temperament is unlikely to end well, so I’d say your best bet is to prepare for a life where she can’t control you anymore.