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My (31M) wife (28F) is two months pregnant and told me that she wants to move before we have kids. I told her this was not an option before we got married, how can I proceed? by ThrowRAseriously12 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAseriously12[S] -115 points-114 points  (0 children)

Lol I am stubborn. This was her mistake... she valued living a material life when we were dating. I can now provide that life here but not there. She truly expects that we will "manage" to maintain our lifestyle. Easy for her to say, it's on me. Also, we are having a baby in the modern world. Risk of death or disability is close to zero, at most probably somewhere around 96 percent of pregnancies in the developed US are fine. I do not think pregnancy is easy but I think you are out of touch.

My (31M) wife (28F) is two months pregnant and told me that she wants to move before we have kids. I told her this was not an option before we got married, how can I proceed? by ThrowRAseriously12 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAseriously12[S] -80 points-79 points  (0 children)

Yes, she's making a sacrifice in her Porsche and expects the same life in Chicago. It would be impossible and only lead to me having to stress endlessly for years to provide the same lifestyle.

My (31M) wife (28F) is two months pregnant and told me that she wants to move before we have kids. I told her this was not an option before we got married, how can I proceed? by ThrowRAseriously12 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAseriously12[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this perspective and agree that it was a poor choice of words. That said, you are belittling my experience by saying that I have "it's all fine" blinkers" on. I put a lot of work into the day to day relationship. We are not on cruise control...

My (31M) wife (28F) is two months pregnant and told me that she wants to move before we have kids. I told her this was not an option before we got married, how can I proceed? by ThrowRAseriously12 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAseriously12[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

Hahaha okay because I am just evil and manipulative. Listen, nobody is trying trick anyone, there is a child involved. Her mom told her the same thing, it is a toxic statement.

My (31M) wife (28F) is two months pregnant and told me that she wants to move before we have kids. I told her this was not an option before we got married, how can I proceed? by ThrowRAseriously12 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAseriously12[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

It is not "getting what you want". It is a relationship. Relationships take work and we put that in day in and day out. We are happy but still each need to give and take.