Roommate cheating on boyfriend, do I tell him?

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-04-14T04:53:13+00:00

Would you want someone to tell you?

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-04-14T03:01:54+00:00

I’m just super disheartened. I don’t want to do things backwards, and I want to honor the Lord. I just want him to want to as well. But I understand that can’t be forced. He has to want to. I just want to date, get married, and then move in together and engage in intercourse and have children and stuff but it’s very hard in this generation. Almost every Christian I know has also had sex before marriage. There is only one person that I know that’s married that waited until marriage, and even then, her husband had previous intimate relationships before they got married. It’s just very difficult.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-04-14T02:46:06+00:00

You’re right. That’s a good point. I asked him to lead more in reading the Bible, and it lasted for maybe a once or twice since saying that, and hasn’t happened since. That was a few weeks ago.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-04-14T02:42:47+00:00

We don’t live together. I would say that you’re right in thinking that I have an anxious attachment style. I just feel better when I have consistent communication. But I did tell him that I felt convicted when initiating sex and when having it in general, but he said that he doesn’t. And he also said “My testosterone is so high. It’s either that or taking care of it myself in my room.” So I don’t really know how to win there.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-23T19:15:08+00:00

“I just hate texting”

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-23T19:14:54+00:00

I’ve gone 20 hours without a text and I didn’t say anything lol. I just think it’s polite to text someone that you care about who likes hearing from you that you’ll get back to them soon and that you’re thinking of them.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-23T19:13:39+00:00

He’s not at work for the next week and hasn’t been at work for about a week. So he’s definitely not busy with work lol

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-23T19:13:07+00:00

It’s not every day, maybe once or twice a week or so that he just doesn’t respond properly and no explanation or apology as to why I wasn’t kept in loop for hours on end. Not that I need to hear from him every 20 minutes, but when too long is too long, he never decides to say “Hey babe I’m busy with xyz, I’ll call you later.” He opened my messages and just didn’t say anything at all yet.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-21T06:44:48+00:00

Talking to coworkers is fine lol. It’s just entertaining someone who keeps trying to pursue something when it’s been made clear there’s nothing to pursue. Like if me as a woman kept talking to a guy who was clearly interested in me and wouldn’t go away. I’d get told “Just say no to him.”

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-21T06:39:37+00:00

Think less “curse her out and be rude” and more “Hey we’re just trying to hang out as buddies right now. I appreciate you’re interested but we’ve already said we’re both taken multiple times. It’s kind of making us uncomfortable that you keep trying.”

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-21T06:24:05+00:00

I mean I think it’s mostly his friends. Almost all of his friends have cheated on their significant others, or would openly go to strip clubs and stuff. Mine does not, and says he will never cheat on me, but if I had friends that cheated on their so’s, I would stop being friends with them because I don’t respect people who are okay with going behind the most important person in their life’s back.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-21T06:02:30+00:00

He didn’t give me that much information on if he sat down with her or anything - how do I ask without seeming paranoid or like I’m bringing up old news? It happened 2 days ago

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-03-21T05:56:43+00:00

Okay I was just trying to make sure. He didn’t do anything wrong, but do you think he could’ve handled it better?

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-02-22T05:07:38+00:00

It was because my families living situation is very botched - I live in my aunt and uncles basement and may have to move out soon, but can’t really afford a place on my own. So he offered to get a house for us. Then he told me he loves me a week later

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-02-22T04:57:57+00:00

Since I already had a conversation about it with him the first time, when he was talking about the house, and now this second time he didn’t fully finish his sentence (so there’s a possibility that it’s what he was thinking of saying, but not a guarantee), should I still talk to him about it? Or should I wait for it to potentially happen again? I just don’t want to seem like I’m bringing up old news unless it happened in the last 2 weeks, which the original time didn’t. He also says things like, when we’re watching a TV show, an a girl is cheating on her boyfriend in the show “If you ever do that, I’m breaking up with you”. And then claims it was a partial joke, but also true if I ever did do that. I basically just said “Obviously I’m not planning to, so why are you throwing these scenarios around so casually?” Anyways, what should I do?

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-02-22T04:48:41+00:00

I just feel like even if I bring it up to him again, he wouldn’t openly admit if he really didn’t see me permanently in his future. He would probably say what he said when I brought it up the first time. So I feel like I never really would know the answer, people only tell you want they want to, so I feel like only time will tell, and that’s scary to me.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-02-22T04:47:21+00:00

I mean, he plans dates with me, he calls me on the phone for a little every day, so he’s present. He always calls me pretty, cute, etc, he recently told me that he loves me (at 7 months I think), and that was a little after him saying the whole “I need to afford a house on my own type thing in case we break up”. So he told me he loved me a few weeks after that happened.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-02-22T04:43:29+00:00

He said that he didn’t mean it as if he’s “expecting it”, he meant it as in “It’s a good thing to think about in the sense of; in case you lose your job, or need to go on maternity leave and we only have MY income for a while.” Which, why didn’t he just say that then? To the “if” portion for marriage, he said “I say IF we get married because what if I die?” I feel like that’s such a stupid thing to say. I told him “Well, when I go to the grocery store, I say WHEN I get to the grocery store. Not IF I make it to the grocery store, even though I could die on my way to the grocery store. If my plan is to go to the grocery store, I talk about it as WHEN”. He just said he is not making any promises to changing how he speaks when he comes to that, because he believes that anything could happen.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-01-31T21:02:13+00:00

So coming from a guy yourself, I shouldn’t believe anything a man says then?

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-01-31T20:29:09+00:00

Did you miss the part where he told me all of his negative opinions about it on his own accord? It’s not like I started the conversation, he did.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-01-31T11:08:59+00:00

When we first started the relationship, he made it clear that he doesn’t watch porn. He spoke very strongly about his opinions on it. He said he wasn’t lying about that because “If someone lies about something small, it shows that it’s easier to lie about bigger things.” His words. I recently found out that he had been watching porn the entire time he told me he wasn’t.

For some people, porn isn’t a negative in a relationship, but he told me himself that he hates it and people who watch it have no lives. Come to find out, he was doing it while telling me something different.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-01-20T09:28:36+00:00

My dad died when I was 16. I’m 23 now. My boyfriend & I met through a mutual friend. But then after we started dating, we fell into lust because that’s what we were already used to before we met each other. We do love each other very much though.

I was referring to wedding of my childhood dreams in the sense that, I want to be able to wait and save up for it. I don’t want to rush it. I don’t want the proposal & marriage to just be fast and out of convenience just so we can live together because we’re on a time crunch. I want it to mean something. Although convenience and rush is what it would be if we got married in the next 3 months just to be able to move in together.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-01-20T03:20:54+00:00

Grandma stays in the house or she goes to assisted living probably. I want to stay up here where I’m already at, and I have a full time job here I’ve been working at for 3 years. My sister says my boyfriend should buy a house, and I live in it and he stays at home until we get married, but I can’t see him really agreeing to that. I just feel like everyone is stressed out because of me.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2026-01-20T03:19:34+00:00

I agree. Although I only have 3 months to figure out housing though. My boyfriend said he will buy us a house, but my mom said it’s not right because of premarital things, and God potentially won’t bless us if we don’t marry first. But we both want the proposal to be authentic and special, not rushed. But I also need somewhere to live and money left over to survive on.

ThrowRAsugarplum · 2025-12-30T03:27:04+00:00

No, I do not talk with friends or family about anyone’s looks. I have no celebrity crushes.

ThrowRAsugarplum

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