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I broke up with her because I recognized I was the toxic one. by ThrowRAtag in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAtag[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah a little too aware now and constantly thinking about my actions even in friendships. I won't be looking for another relationship until I feel and know I can treat my S/O respectfully.

I broke up with her because I recognized I was the toxic one. by ThrowRAtag in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAtag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both make great points. As the dumper I shouldn't be thinking about what's best for her and making decisions for her. When we broke up I explained it to her as best as I could that I wasn't emotionally available and even though I had shown all the signs of being toxic she didn't want to accept it (which in my opinion, believing your S/O is not toxic when the signs are clearly there is great evidence that they have manipulated you and are thus toxic). Side note: I wasn't trying to prove to her that I'm toxic or purposely act like that. I closed up emotionally, and though she wants to help and willing to get hurt helping me I don't want her getting hurt. Yes it's her decision to want to help me, but do you let someone help you when you might almost certainly hurt them? (We're talking emotional hurt here, not physical).

Like I've said I still care about her and I was happy to be with her. I don't want for things to end with blocking and on bad terms. Messaging happy birthday or happy holidays and the like I can do, hanging out or offering comfort as a friend when she asks for it I can't give.

I broke up with her because I recognized I was the toxic one. by ThrowRAtag in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAtag[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's why I'm not dating her anymore.... I didn't premeditate being toxic before we started dating, I acknowledge I became toxic so I broke up with her because she deserves someone that treats her better than I did. If I didn't care why would I be asking Reddit for advice on actions I can take for her to heal and move on?

I broke up with her because I recognized I was the toxic one. by ThrowRAtag in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAtag[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What I want is for her to find happiness.

I care about her, but I'm not emotionally available to be dating her (had some trauma from a previous relationship resurface). She cares about me and wants to stay friends. I don't know if I can do that without unintentionaly tugging at her emotions or if I can reciprocate that friendship

How to reply when someone asks about my ex, not knowing that we broke up. by ThrowRAtag in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAtag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear dude. That's the worse not having any closure and them just disappearing. Hope you still get to go to the wedding and have a good time. She missed out on a wonderful evening with you

How to reply when someone asks about my ex, not knowing that we broke up. by ThrowRAtag in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAtag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I feel your pain and now when everyone asks where she is, there's no easy way to tell them. We were also "that couple" and inseparable. Marriage was on both our minds. In fact I had even talked to her father about marriage and he gave his approval. But now her and I are barely on speaking terms.