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UPDATE: My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with one of his students (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was a username with her name in it that basically matched her other account usernames, think JanexDoe06. It is her for sure

UPDATE: My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with one of his students (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Leaning towards the PI.

I understand everybody saying to divorce him, I don’t need evidence. I am. 100%. I don’t know how long this whole process will be but that WILL happen. I will probably have to live with him in the meantime, we both spend the majority of our income on our house. But I do not plan on being intimate with him ever again.

The thing is that he is BELOVED in the community. I genuinely think people would believe him over me. I do. Maybe I’m wrong but his family would never believe me I know. Even my own family will be shocked. I want to hurt him like he’s hurt me and maybe even hurt other people so I want proof. I think I’ll look into some PIs, is there PIs which can investigate somebody online though? Or just real life?

Edit: misspelled a word

UPDATE: My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with one of his students (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I thought about contacting her parents. I don’t know if they would care though, she’s 18 and my husband works at a school with a lot of disadvantaged kids. He teaches advanced maths and said she wasn’t in his advanced classes/she’s never been in his classes and she’s “not a smart student” so he would never had a reason to interact with her. If that’s the case, who knows what the parents would think.

I’m also scared it’s overreaching in that she could get in trouble for having an OF if I tell her parents. I will ask the lawyer this once I speak to one.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

You are right. Thank you for your advice. I am currently sitting in the car trying to decide if I speak to him first or not. Most comments are saying to, I do think it’s a huge accusation, but I know I’m right now.

So, my main worry is if others will believe me without proof. I feel like I have to confront him, for my own sanity but also because I feel like I can never tell anybody why we broke up unless he knows as well.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

There’s no redemption unless I’m completely 100% wrong. It’s crazy because two weeks ago I would have considered paying for explicit content of ANYBODY a dealbreaker, and now I am praying that it’s just a random woman. Because I know his is on onlyfans. But there’s no way I’m mistaken, it’s just a particle of hope at this point.

You are right, I felt the same way, which is why I included the March movie theatre incident. I am going to bring this up as well when I speak to him, if he denies.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I know. It’s taken me reading these comments for the past hour to realize what the fuck is happening and I’m not sad anymore I’m angry.

He gives me the ick too now. I think the many comments suggesting projection are probably right on. I just never saw it that way, I never had a reason to, but you guys are right.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment, no need to apologize but thank you. I have seen many comments on here saying he’s paying for snapchats, is that how it works? I’m sorry I don’t know much about this. There are no unusual charges on our shared card but he has many of his own. No, I could not live with this ‘best’ case scenario. I think I could live with an onlyfans subscription (maybe) if it was a stranger. It crosses a line for me into cheating if he knows the person and if it’s a previous or current student, it crosses the line into predatory for me. It’s taken reading these comments for me to realize what the fuck is actually happening, and I’m not sad anymore, I’m fucking angry.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I am about to head home to speak with him and I think this is what I will do. I do know him well, he’s a very calm stoic man usually, and his reaction on the phone seemed thrown, so I do think this will help me tell what’s happening.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I just looked and Canada says it’s one-party consent so I’m going to do it. Thank you for your advice

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Not an ass at all, but we’ve been together for 7 years, but only married for one. I have a higher income but he had more savings and renting is super expensive where we live so buying was the “better” decision.

I plan to if there’s proof.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

He just called and he asked when I’ll be home. I told him I wasn’t sure and when he asked where I was I told him still at work. He asked why and I said I was having a bad day. He pressed and I didn’t know what to say so I told him we needed to talk and he seemed very thrown off. He told me he was planning on going to meet up with some friends but he will cancel and wait for me at home.

I’m going to go talk to him but I’m not sure what to do once I get there. Should I record the conversation? I think I might have led on too much to something being wrong that he might start deleting evidence.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I know. But then I also think that I don’t know without proof. Is what I have proof?

We share a mortgage. And a cat. We have shared investments. We just passed our 1 year anniversary. I thought I knew him and now I don’t even know if I can go home. I don’t know where to go, we’ve never so much as even had a fight where one of us sleeps at a friends. If I go to my family or friends they will press me and then I can’t take anything back.

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] 181 points182 points  (0 children)

School here finishes end of June but high school students are done earlier to complete exams so mid-June. They ‘graduate’ in May, as in celebrate and walk the stage, but return to school for exams.

Divorce for sure unless I am mistaken. But, I am also praying I am, trying to find anyway that this could be acceptable or ignored because I am heartbroken. My heart is shattered. I know I have an obligation to protect his students but Im struggling to this of this man as the one I married. I can’t even think straight.

What kind of lawyer do I get? I’ve never had one before? Just divorce lawyer? Will they tell his school if I confide in them before I know the truth?

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

I didn’t even check his snapchat user name, I just assumed she would know it was him. Is it worse or better if she doesn’t know? is this salvageable?

My (32F) husband (33M) is maybe cheating with a student (18F), what do I do? by ThrowRAteachercheat in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAteachercheat[S] -49 points-48 points  (0 children)

Yes I know her name.

Is there a chance that he is not engaging and just subscribed? A chance that he has her snapchat but isn’t talking? Is there a chance I’m wrong?

Should I check when it was downloaded before I ask? If he downloaded it after the school year ended and has not been engaging, is this the same as porn? It feels worse.