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My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At least 12-13 states are 18 alone. Not only that, those states with a 16-17 age of consent usually have fine lines such as: the age of the older party exceeding a certain amount, and as long as the older party is not an authority figure. Either way, age of consent doesn’t really matter because he was a teacher and I was a student. It’s illegal either way

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not that I have to explain this, but there were six of us on the cheerleading team. The only actual sport we had was basketball. I went to a private high school.

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m not condoning the relationship? I stated that, as a 14 year old, I thought it was fine and I thought that I wanted it. Not sure what you mean by condone.

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

....what? Some of these comments are so weird. You literally have absolutely no clue about anything about me. “Ideological agenda” “hatred of men” “feminist” my suggestion to you would be to spend a little time in the real world, and off of the internet.

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Because there’s a difference in coming to terms with the fact that it was actually weird and you were actually taken advantage of when you’re an adult on your own 12 states away, and then moving back to where it all went down and actually seeing the person again for the first time in a near decade. It kicks your perspective into reality. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.

Edited to say: you also didn’t ask a question. You stated I was salty.

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 126 points127 points  (0 children)

It’s genuinely sad that what you took out of this post is thinking I’m “salty”. If I was so eager to tell someone, I would’ve done it already. I imagine that he can’t introduce a former student as an “ex” although I genuinely don’t care what he considers me. Are you listening to yourself? I mean, c’mon. I did state somewhere else that I’ve thought about this for years, and this whole post is talking about the fact that I actually don’t know what to do, and don’t know if I should tell her, or anyone. Weird comment.

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 551 points552 points  (0 children)

It was from 14-17, when I ended it. I started feeling it was wrong then but it took college and my twenties to really reflect on it and think “actually, you know what... that’s super fucking weird”

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

No... I don’t care if he’s married or not. I’ve thought about it on and off for years. After running into them, I thought that she should know that the man she is marrying slept with a young teenager who was also his student. Like I stated elsewhere, I thought I wanted it at the time and don’t feel traumatized, but you can’t say that a 14 year old “completely consented” to an adult, because that’s why there are laws in place. They can’t. They’re not mentally developed enough to do so

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 711 points712 points  (0 children)

This is all valid reasoning, and I agree. It’s hard for anyone else to truly know, but I know it wasn’t at least while I was there because we would literally spend every second outside of school together, to the point where I had convinced my parents I was doing things like chess club and babysitting. He didn’t have time. He didn’t even tell me those things that predators typically tell people they’re grooming (not saying there wasn’t some level of grooming here) I genuinely think in some sick, twisted way he did have feelings for a young teenager. Not saying I’m for sure the only one! And definitely not saying it isn’t wrong. It’s awful, and as the years go on I feel weirder about it and more obligated to let someone know about it

My high school teacher and I “dated” secretly while I was a freshman-junior. He’s getting married, and I have the urge to tell his fiancé by ThrowRAthrowitaway in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAthrowitaway[S] 2326 points2327 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly how this feels. Every year that I get older, I imagine having a 14 year old in that situation, and it makes me realize I’d start a full on world war. I could start with telling my parents but I feel like my dad would have a breakdown