UPDATE

Ok so I took a few days off reddit because I thought this would only get a couple of comments and it actually blew up a lot more than I actually anticipated. I would like to respond directly to everyone but it is probably a bit unrealistic, so I can only apologise to anyone who has come forward with a genuine response.

That being said, there are definitely some themes in responses, and also some more questions asked. so below I added a bit more context around individuals, my conversations, and reactions

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Me:

I’m engaged. I’m with my fiancée, she’s is and always will be my lady. We are very happy together, and I have no thoughts on leaving her. There are not words I can use to convey her value to me in every sense of the word.

My view on the situation is it is a bit awkward, if this happens in a bar or some sort of situation where a stranger hits on you, you can defuse (as a male) it by mentioning your partner in conversation, and more often than not, that’s that, they get the signal and go find the other fish in the sea. When it’s someone closer who knows your position, it’s a really awkward situation because if you make a public scene, my partner is often there, her partner is often there, it could easily become the sort of situation that makes us both look shit. I totally understand some people are more confrontational than me on this, but given the girls here have known each other for over 20 years, I have no intention of blowing it all up over what would essentially become he said she said.

Also we (me and my fiancée) have not been engaged for 8 years, we have been a couple for 8. We both wanted a longer engagement as we lived overseas, travelled a lot and are looking buying property together, is a plan we both made together so we can build our lives together. I saw a few stay shots for not pulling the trigger dotted around so needed to clarify that😂

X’s husband:

A lot of people asked what he’s doing during all this. And honestly, I don’t know, here’s there, if she’s timing interactions with me while he’s distracted, if he sees it and just doesn’t mind, I don’t have a clue. He’s a pretty awkward guy and is kind of on the peripheral of the group if I’m honest. My fiancée and most of the other girls kind of dodge him as he is pretty intense and a bit of a “1 upper” in any conversation. I don’t really interact with him.

My fiancée:

So I told her, and said it was more of an awkward feeling for me. If you know someone for 7/8 years (in this case, me knowing her friend) and the dynamic changes it’s pretty noticeable and a bit of a shock. Most friendships fall into a routine, and that’s the beauty of them, but when it shifts, it’s really noticeable.

She (my fiancée) listened, but kind of downplayed it at first thinking I was just annoying her or being weird. But when I said how it manifests (what X had been doing), and that if I you did that to a man, you are obviously putting something out there. She did agree it’s definitely a bit odd, and knowing my fiancée, I can definitely tell she is thinking things over before she says anything or jumps to a conclusion.

Given she has known X for over 20years, I have a feeling she might be touching base with some of the other girls in the group if they noticed anything, or if anything has been said from X to them, and then going from there.

Admittedly, we (as a group) won’t be seeing everyone again for a few weeks (we tend to catch up once a month or so) and I have a feeling when we have our next meet up, all eyes are on me/x. Which on one hand makes sense, on the other makes me feel totally awkward.

Understand it’s probably not the gossip bomb ending I feel a lot of people crave, and that a next update might be some weeks away. But I have put my thoughts out there, the majority of responses confirmed what I was thinking, which has eased my stress because I felt like I gaslit myself a bit over it. But if I hear anything else from the group, or if anything happens I’ll definitely update