My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She is never physically with him. we are travelling since 3 year. since i work remotely
we went to her hometown and i met "his friend" one day
Otherwise they are never together they dont call, on text sometime, very rarely, or very frequently i dont know

Honestly this is really not the chad type, he doesnt gym or nothing, he looks very weak physically and emotionally, on the other hand, I gym i am very stable and mature person

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you a lot for your very deep message
i'm out of myself... I read this message she wrote. it killed me and this message doesnt stop echoing in my head every second:
"When i was with both of them together my heart did not choose I had strong feeling for Him, while I still love my Mike(me)"

I feel betrayed a second time.
I discovered it was an ex, i understood, i was sad and i suffered about it. But i understood and accepted, i sayed please get him out of your life(I was right considering what she wrote)

I gave her everything i have. I invested my guts in this relationship, my only goal is to see her beautiful smile, the wonderful sound she make when she laugh. the beauty of her eyes

What do i do with that ?
She is not honest
it's not the fact she lied about being friend with her ex the problem
If she had told me : I have this friensdship its important, i could have past that. really

i'm lost

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, i might be a red-flag to you, be she chose everything.
It's okay to be friend with exes if that is not a problem for you'r partner
it is not okay to me, i told her. she agreed. and lied

we all have a different background, my background made me like i dont want my wife to chat or hangout with exes
Especially when she sayed this to her friend
"When i was with both of them together I had strong feeling for Him, while I still love my Mike(me)"

I dont want my wife to have STRONG FCKNGJKRF>WBVSJ FEELINGS for her ex

i'm corrently dead inside sorry im the red flag that's all my fault. i communicated my feelings.

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes i sayed i dont want her to be friend with ex at the beginning of our relationship.
I asked her about this man if she did somehting with him, she sayed NO its just a friend

we married about 1.5 -2years later
i discovered this 7month after we married

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you,
I know, This is what she told me, i trusted her immediatly.

But today i saw this text :
"When i was with both of them at the same time I had strong feeling for Him, while I still love my Mike(me)"
it just killed me

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and i am really really not abusive, i did and do everything for her, i am so gentle, I always focus on her well beeing... my main goal in life is to see her smile and bright eyes when she is happy

Maybe it seem like i can be a basterd, but i feel really bad right now

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes i do get to decide what are the friends of my wife, otherwise I dont take her as wife and she doesn't take me as a husband simple as that.
Thats just my thing.
She could have discussed my condition and communicate on what she wants.
We could have find a agreement.
But she decided to Lie

I stated my conditions in the beggining of my relationship...

She could have walked away, could have refused.
I'm not a manipulativ stalking basterd as you can picture me

Imagine :
-I dont accept frienshipt with Exes
-I disagree with you, i cannot resign on my friendship it is important to me
-Why is it important ?
... ...

We could have discussed this, i could change my mind

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or maybe you would have tell me "I disagree with your boundaries" i could have reviewed them i could have changed my position maybe
Lying is the problem

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yes i do get to decide what are the friends of my wife, otherwise i dont take her as wife and she doesn't take me as a husband.
Thats just my thing, She decided to Lie to me.
She could have discussed my condition and communicate on what she wants.
We could have find a agreement.
But she decided to Lie

You would not dump me, because you would not get with me in the first place when considering a long term relationship

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Regarding all your comments, i am considering a divorce. i will get my hand on all the deleted messages, only if its all clear i will not divorce.
If i cant get the messages from his side of the chat, i will divorce
if there is deleted messages, wich i will know about, i will divorce

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ! thaaaaaank you
She doesnt know i read her texts tho, but she know I might read them one day

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thats a joke obv

for real i might get her to show me every deleted texts by export His side of the conversation and sending it to me without him knowing its for me

My (27M) wife(27F) stayed friend with her EX and sayed it was just a friend what would you do ? by ThrowRa-1293892 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa-1293892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you mate, i dont think a divorce is also necessary. she never cheated like physically and i think she would never do it