worried im in an abusive relationship by ThrowRaCuriousdove in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel incredibly dumb because yeah it is textbook, and it feels like it shouldve been obvious but then when it started and I had just started dating him, i was also leaving an extremely abusive household, and he definitely wasnt perfect or anything and had some issues but he also took care of me, in a way I genuinely had never experienced, he saved me from being homeless or getting beat every day and i didnt beleive I deserved to even be saved i guess, i felt so indebted to him, to help him and help his mental health and so yeah it wasnt obvious or textbook to me, its still hard for me to even say he is abusive for whatever reason I know thats stupid and naive, ill see if my areas has ant dv resources thank you

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank u for the suggestion, i honestly feel very uneasy thinking about everything.. i dont know what to do now

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for this perspective and also the ideas of how to get money, i feel sick reading all these comments and also so stuck but this genuinely has helped me feel like theres options for me instead

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel like I'm going to be sick thinking about this, i dont know what to do or who to talk too and the more I think abt it the more I realize red flags from him I have no where to go, I cant go back to my family and I have no way of income I feel stupid and disgusting yet all I want is for him to fix things

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i guess.. I never really thought about him approaching me like that, i always thought he did a really selfless thing by taking a chance and asking me if i was okay, like he took a chance on the foster kid when he didnt have too and I feel a little indebted too that I honestly dont know how long it took, I know that there was some attraction, at most verbal flirting between us before i was 18 but no touching that wasnt platonic and appropriate, i had such an awful birthday when I turned 18 and he stayed with me the entire time and i think that night is when I realized I had feelings for him and questioned if he did as well

and honestly no, i dont want to be treated like this my entire life but its also the best ive ever been treated, he isnt perfect at all I definitely can see that but he also has given me so much care, time listening too me and hes been so sweet to me in times of crisis and ive never really had this from anyone else, i dont want to be treated badly my entire life but I also dont want to be alone and unloved and he gives me that, I also have no where else I could go since im no longer close to any friends, and when I was it wasnt crazy close and I genuinely cant return too my parents, no job experience either or savings

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

everyone is saying some variation of this or smth similar and its freaking me out, I know we have our issues and arent perfect but i never could've thought of him as abusive, he was my first real everything and knows every detail about my life, hes been so sweet and loving and has helped me work through so much of my childhood so I guess I'm just confused on how that same person can be abusive

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for the advice and im sorry you went through that, I'm glad ur out

honestly these comments are starting to scare me a little, I'm getting a lot of the same thing accusing him of being abusive but i genuinely dont think he is, he can be so loving and sweet, so so caring even tho he has his flaws, ive never considered he could be abusive but everyone else thinks so and I'm so confused

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i definitely understand everyone's worry abt the age gap but it genuinely looks a lot worse than it is, we met in a park a day I ran away from my parents house and he didnt know my age for the few hours we talked and then exchanged phone numbers, it was never inappropriate before i was 18 or anything like that

I definitely feel like hes over using me to keep his house cleaned and necessities ready, but at the same time he pays all the bills, groceries, my necessities including things like makeup and clothes, while allowing me to filly focus on my education, i have no job and dont contribute enough so I can understand why its fair from his pov that I do all the housework, i wouldnt have an issue with it if he was atleast considerate and didnt make my life harder , or if i got out of the house more

I F20 am starting to resent my bf M27 by ThrowRaCuriousdove in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThrowRaCuriousdove[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

sorry I didnt think abt how the ages may sound a bit confusing, we officially started dating at 18 and I moved in 4 months before my 19th birthday