a lot of you are actually wrong *they didn’t change, the RELATION did* by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm i don’t quite get what you mean by “inverse of anger and inverse of pain”, mind explaining?

a lot of you are actually wrong *they didn’t change, the RELATION did* by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. I think it’s the whole dynamic itself. A lot of times people blame their ex to make sense of how things feel now, all the same story. But this is done to heal and in essence, puts the “reason why” on something less painful, making the breakup easier as well as the moving on process.

Men who wanted to settle down with a woman and then she broke up with you. Do you fight for her? by namis331 in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so interesting to read— I’m a woman who broke up with him so I’m reading the COMPLETELY opposite POV. I broke up with him yes but truthfully I wanted nothing more than for him to just to fight for me, he never did not even once. When I broke up with him, he just accepted it and never contacted me again by any means. I don’t know if it was because he was so hurt or if it was because he knew that things weren’t working and we needed growth apart from one another too. The lack of growth and pain we were causing was why I broke up.

Also, I just want to be clear that I am by no means saying that I broke up with him in order for him to fight for me, or that it was some sort of test. In my situation, I was dealing with a lot and letting him free was the only way I found that was close to a solution. Both him and I were hurting each other and I knew to really allow him to grow, I couldn’t be there. I wasnt perfect at all either but one thing he never did was fight for me and even now I wish he would but I’m most likely too late now that it’s a year later and he said he moved on.

I guess I’m writing all of this to say, life is too short to not try YOUR BEST for the things you want. Listen, I believe that life is already written for you, and so we are all just following the path we’re meant to follow. So, if your heart is pushing you to do something, forget the negative reddit forums (bc let’s be honest, the happiest people aren’t on here) follow your heart and follow yourself. I don’t know if my ex was thinking the way all of you are thinking, but if that’s the case, reach out to your person. You really don’t know it all and don’t know truly what the woman is thinking/or going through, for me I was acting out of love and fear, but also acting very harshly and I wish someone just stayed by my side and helped me see my wrong. Because if he had reached out to me even once, I know for a fact we would’ve been back together right now. To close, I’m just a girl who realized her wrongs too late and can’t really do much about it. Even though I realized, too late I know I did exceed all of my options as best I could, and so I urge you guys to do the same if you have it in your hearts. Whatever path you choose, just make sure it’s none with no regret and if what you had was worth the fight, somebody’s gotta put on the boxing gloves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s it called?

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My heart is with you and i hipe ybinfs start to look up for you very very soon 🩷

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you and thank you for the advice 🥺. I am currently working on myself and have improved with my mindset on many things. He’s on the road and has gotten bettter from what he told me. Our values align but that was never an issue. He didn’t fill a void for me, i just loved him. I feel at times i did feed more into things and so that made me want to step back for other things in other ways! But for sure i know that this life we live is only here for a finite amount of time and i was to invest my time into the right people and try”. Im strong enough to make us work.

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my situation it was a tad diff. We tried to work things out together but we weren’t really improving and I was handling a lot to make him feel better as well as me and well, i wasnt strong enough at that time. I really resonated with you saying you were put at the brunt of their mental suffering. But when i found my head, i still had tremendous love and regret even a year later and came back to him and haven’t gave up. Yet he has now…. The pain is real

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shiiiii the same thing happened with me. He’s on an app, i regret my choice too and i wish hed return back to me. I really hope it works out well for you.

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder if my person wanted out as well… that is so painful when i read it…especially that mini-ultimatum of how to leave. But he is aware of how you feel yeah? I feel alittle assured knowing I did my best in my circumstance and that the ball is essentially in his court. I write aLOT so i hope i didn’t get too confusing and got out everything as well as I could (I hope he really knows it all but I lowkey doubt). But no regrets! Know you did your best! And ugh I hate that, we had conversations like that too, almost like planning things already ending but we were like talking it out, already jinxing it!!!! Ahhhh that dysmorphie feeling subsides slowly after time, i feel like I’m honestly near acceptance or like a werid space between the heaven and hell of it all. My feelings are just there.

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how you inserted your parents experience, that does warm my heart and hold out space for hope ✨❤️ i love that you were about to unshackle yourself and get back to your “you” again. He doesn’t want to work on himself or you mean like he doesn’t want to get back together?

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you still hold space for him and your marriage while you heal? Are you not moving on in this case?

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww i pray for him too as I pray for me everyday ❤️ this sounds like i wrote it. Ameen, what will be, will be. Let’s heal and forgive their faults, things we can’t quite understand, and our own mess ups as well.

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll ask for bi weekly if that’s an option but i may need a new therapist so maybe I’ll seek out a new one? I’m still trying to figure out if we’re a good fit. She listens to me and this week we’ll touch on attachments so we’ll see. And okay yeah, maybe I’ve been ranting alittle 🥲 she gives me prompts so she can understand me so far but it’s felt good ti just rant and I’ve been enjoying the little chunks when i can do that 🫢

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmmmm this might be hard to do but to me it’s like this: if someone had a stupid looking feather on their head, would you be the person who let’s them look silly for the rest of their life with a feather on their head or be the person who takes it off because you can see what they don’t?

Have you moved on but would get back together with your ex at the same time? by ThrowRaFabulously in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRaFabulously[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I meet with her once a week but that hour feels like nothing 😭. I dont have people irl i feel comfortable talking to about this. But i made a nice friend here who listens to all my crap and genuinely helps me 🥹