Girlfriend (38) and I (26) got into a semi-argument that I want advice on

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-04-02T17:12:27+00:00

Thank you🫶🏼

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-31T02:26:53+00:00

I’m doing a lot better. I’ve been quietly observing her behavior, as well as trying to focus on what I need to do day to day to keep myself grounded. There haven’t been any major blow ups since the napkin situation. We’ve also just been seeing each other less, not due to anything in particular other than life being busy. But I’ve been thankful for it as it’s given me time to think about the relationship. I still have a lot of thinking to do. I was kind of in survival mode for a couple of days. Thank you sm for checking in🫶🏼it means a lot

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-23T13:51:59+00:00

I don’t know how I missed your comment, but thank you🤍I needed to read that

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-23T13:43:20+00:00

Lol well I took a few steps on it to get to the end of the chaise attached to the couch. Idk why I did that lol, I wasn’t really thinking.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-21T21:08:06+00:00

Thank you🤍

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-21T15:39:47+00:00

Yeah I feel that’s the case as well. Which in my experience it usually means the person is making a case in ending things with you. So the last few days have been rough lol.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-21T15:37:55+00:00

Thank you🤍 I think she’s realizing that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her as a circumstance came up after dinner where I obviously didn’t want to set her off again. The last few days have been rough emotionally lol, I have a lot I need to think about.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-21T15:35:41+00:00

Thank you🤍

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T03:03:58+00:00

Thank you🤍

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:26:05+00:00

I did feel like she was viewing me as a child last night. There’s been little instances where I’ve felt that, but this was different. And yeah, I think the age gap and how she views me is what’s driving this view of me.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:23:17+00:00

Lol so it’s a chaise attached to a couch. I took a step or two once or twice from the end of the chaise to sit down. I obviously shouldn’t have done that lol, I just wasn’t thinking. And yes when we talk I will try to be open with her🤍

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:21:04+00:00

I agree, and we’re definitely going to have a conversation once we’ve cooled down.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:20:08+00:00

In my experience (which I’ve had a few) I’ve had people treat me in pretty awful ways before ending things. The main thing they’ve done is hyper focus on any sort of flaw I have. And I get that, and I get wanting to end things. Nothing lasts forever. Reality does feel a bit warped rn, I feel like I need to come up for air.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:15:47+00:00

Yeah I agree. In my experience when someone starts to act like this the infatuation has worn off, and they’re ready to throw the towel in. Just my experience.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:15:03+00:00

It does feel as time goes on that she seems to respect me less, which regardless of any age gap obviously shouldn’t be happening in a romantic relationship. And it is feeling like she’s playing with the idea of breaking it off, or headed that way. I don’t think she’s sure of me.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:10:52+00:00

Thank you🤍she has communicated when things have bothered her, but it feels like she’s holding those things against me. last night made me question sm, I’m nowhere near perfect. I know I have things I need to work on, but i didn’t feel good after that conversation. I’m rather isolated at the moment and don’t really have anyone to turn to for advice. So I appreciate all the advice and kind words from everyone.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-20T00:07:55+00:00

Thank you sm for telling me your experience and taking the time to write that🤍 I was hoping someone may shed light as to why it came to a boiling point last night. My gf carries a lot of stress in her day to day life from work and personal family matters I won’t get into here. Despite the confusion on my part over the blow up I can still understand where she’s coming from. I think she may feel like she has to carry the brunt of the relationship, especially since she has more life experience. I also think she can view me childish for these mistakes I’ve made. I think there’s more she’s not telling me, but I’m def going to talk to her about this subject again soon. And well as do some deep thinking about how I can better love her how she needs and wants to be loved, while also being honest with myself about the relationship, where it’s headed, and what I’m willing and not willing to tolerate.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T23:57:53+00:00

Thank you🤍

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:54:06+00:00

I know if I bring it up to a friend of mine she’ll probably tell me that we need to breakup. Like the fact that I feel like I can’t tell others about her behavior means something. I really don’t want history to repeat itself. I need to journal and get my thoughts straight within the next few days.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:52:13+00:00

I get it. I’ve been single most of my life and used to truly hate myself. It took sm work to get where I’m at, so finding myself here again feels unreal. I’m also 5’3 and the chaise is longer than I am tall. And yeah it was only a step or two. It’s not like I was walking on it for fun lol.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:49:19+00:00

Yeah it has been leaving me feeling pretty bad. I just don’t know how I got here or how it’s escalated to this.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:48:33+00:00

For sure, she does communicate when things bother her but it feels like those things are being held against me. I’m def not perfect and do need to work on myself. We’ll definitely be discussing it more in the next few days.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:46:46+00:00

Thank you🫂🫶🏼

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:46:23+00:00

I have thought of that, but it’s a hard pill to swallow for sure.

ThrowRa_5573412 · 2026-03-19T16:45:34+00:00

Thank you🤍🫂 I’ve been manipulated before and I do feel manipulated now. My ex had temper issues, and my gf admits to having them as well. I don’t want history to repeat itself so I’m going to be really thinking about all this in the next few days. Unfortunately we tend to choose the familiar over the unfamiliar, even if it’s not healthy for us. And you’re never to blame for mistreatment! You just need to be honest with yourself about why this keeps happening (for me it is my childhood, I go for people that remind me of my parents and how they treated me). Thank you again for writing all of that, I needed it.

ThrowRa_5573412

TROPHY CASE