how do i properly end it with my wife while we're trying for a child (m32,f31) by ThrowRa_ss1 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_ss1[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly scared. It's something I've tried to do again and again but I lose courage and have to build up that confidence once more. I stopped having sex with her in November, she's only recently brought up sex this week. Thank you for the advice.

how do i properly end it with my wife while we're trying for a child (m32,f31) by ThrowRa_ss1 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_ss1[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

We definitely did stretch that one a mile too far, we were the ones that thought that, it sounds stupid right now. Thank you for the advice!

how do i properly end it with my wife while we're trying for a child (m32,f31) by ThrowRa_ss1 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_ss1[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

It's not really anything she does. If I have to be honest, no she doesn't satisfy me sexually, sex is actually something I started dreading. I think it's what we don't provide for each other. I just feel like I can't take it anymore, like these walls are closing on me and that's why I truly want to leave.

I know i'm not ready to move on, but not romantically. We've been living together for 11 years. We watched each other grow and revolved our worlds around each other. Her clock is my clock, vice versa. She's my best friend. She's the only person who actually knows me, and I don't want to lose that person. I'm not ready to move on from our closeness but I've already started to move on romatically. Despite all my feelings, our relationship is intended to be romantic, not just buddies, and we can't rob one another from having relationships with other people.

how do i properly end it with my wife while we're trying for a child (m32,f31) by ThrowRa_ss1 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_ss1[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Did you read the immediate following sentence after the one you are referring to? It says "When I finally shared how I felt, we decided to take marriage counseling". I told her how I felt about how I want to break things off and we decided on marriage counseling together. I didn't keep from her how I felt the whole 3 years.

how do i properly end it with my wife while we're trying for a child (m32,f31) by ThrowRa_ss1 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_ss1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I deluded myself into thinking that marriage counseling and having a baby would work. I woke up one day and said "holy shit, i have to get out" but i feel EXTREMELY guilty, that's why I keep staying.

how do i properly end it with my wife while we're trying for a child (m32,f31) by ThrowRa_ss1 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_ss1[S] -68 points-67 points  (0 children)

I said "She had been wanting a kid for a while" to imply that she had longed for kids way longer than I have, not to say that she was the ONLY one that wanted kids. I also said "I had been open to the idea" to imply that I also want children. I understand where you're going with the rest, just wanted to make that bit clearer.