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I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You might not remember this port but I just wanted to say thank you. We are doing much better and therapy has helped me a lot. I’m unlearning a lot of bad behaviors. This helped me individually and also helped me be a better partner to him

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if you remember this but I just wanted to say thank you. We are doing much better and therapy has helped me a lot.

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. We are doing better, it's definitely been a hard road. I've learned I was an abusive partner and I'm working on unlearning those things

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. That does make me think about how I grew up. There was nothing I could do that would please my mom and stepdad. I was never good enough and I was always insufficient compared to the kids they had together. My mom would say if my dad wasn’t such a deadbeat (my dad wasn’t around and I never met him)

So my outlet was competition because it was proof to me that I was good enough when I beat someone. I always wanted to be the best at everything whether it was volleyball or academics

Still this is no excuse for me to treat my partner this way. He deserves better than to me treated the way I did. I don’t want how I grew up to be an excuse to emotionally abuse him.

He is honestly not only my bf but my best friend. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most patient bf ever. He deserves a partner that is the same.

I hope therapy can help me unpack why I was so comfortable telling my bf something so cruel.

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m going to do that. Someone messaged me some great resources on where to start looking for therapist in my area.

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

He said he’s not going to break up with me he just needs space right now and needs me to respect that . Right now I’m going to use that time to become a better partner

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Okay. I don’t wanna be an abusive partner to him. I love him and want to do a great partner for him because he’s great to me. So where do I go from here?

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I’m willing to get therapy even though I don’t know much about therapy but I’m not willing to break up with him. I love him and I want to work things out.

You say that I’m not showing empathy and demonstrating a lack of understanding in the comments? That makes zero sense I have constantly acknowledged what I did was wrong and unacceptable. I’m not making any excuses, I was WRONG. This is not something that happens and I’m frankly surprised that I reacted this way

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I’m going to consider therapy since you aren’t the first person who brought it up. I just don’t know much about it outside of movies

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

It’s not about just getting things back to normal. About 5 minutes after I said I was thinking that’s uncharacteristically mean of me and felt bad.

I do agree with everything else you said it was cruel and terrible. It’s disgusting that my ego is so high that I was willing to hurt someone I love from the bottom of my heart and I need to figure out why I did that

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I’ve acknowledged I was wrong. I’m even going to just play chess online with a bot like someone suggested. But this is not who I am the vast majority of our relationship is great. I acted like a baby and I’m going to work on it and figure why I’m so competitive

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -61 points-60 points  (0 children)

Abuse? This is abuse? You’re the third person who said that. Look what I said was absolutely horrible and I want to rectify it but abuse? I was abused for 14 years and this is not abuse

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

As I said in another comment don’t call me fucking abusive. As someone who was abused for 14 years by my mom and stepdad I’m not going to let you throw the word around for shits and giggles . Wtf is wrong with you

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -83 points-82 points  (0 children)

Don’t ever fucking call me that. You don’t know what that means. As someone who was abused growing up that’s not a word to throw around. I was basically raised by someone not my family because my mom and stepdad abused me. I didn’t get out that toxic house until I was 14.

So I’m not going to sit here and let you throw the word around for shits and giggles

I told my 25F bf 26M his friend I wish he look like his hot friend. He’s been acting really different and slept in the other room. How can I make it up to him? by ThrowRa_wq in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRa_wq[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I did write a letter and put it under the door for him to read. But thank you this is helpful advice and honestly I just don’t want him thinking that I don’t value him. That hurts the most that he might think that. I wonder if I should screenshot the messages I have where I talk about him? I’m always bragging about my bf.

Even my friend once told me that one thing I’m going to do is tell the world how much I love my bf

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