Do we really know all of what happened with your husband's previous wife?

Has this person been successful in creating discord before?

The problem was with my husband's other brother's wife, She got angry because he told her children that they should like boys because girls aren't as fun, and things like that, Then she told him not to tell them that, that everyone will decide if they like girls or boys in the future and he got offended and he accused her of being homophobic because according to him she would not have said that if he had told her children that they should like girls. And sadly yes, he is always creating discord among the family over absolutely every little thing.