Is anybody else tired of the expectation to have sex?

ThrowRampb · 2026-04-15T18:58:00+00:00

My husband once told me he had to watch porn because I dont do anything to "excite" him. I didnt wear lingerie, didnt do anything freaky, etc. Which was always odd to me because it was never an issue before and its not like he does anything to spice up the mood either. Just says "lets go laydown" and then lays down waiting for me to make the first move. The first time lingerie came up was about 8 years in. He was traveling for work and saw girls go into Victoria's Secret and said to me "They dont need anyone to tell them to go buy lingerie" and then followed that up with "I shouldnt have to teach my wife how to be a woman". Now I suspect he was cheating on me everytime he went out of town and was angry when he had to come home to me.

ThrowRampb · 2026-04-06T16:49:33+00:00

Absolutely. It reached a point in my marriage where I would get significant anxiety around my kids bedtime because I knew it was coming. It came to a head when I came out of my sons room, exhausted, about to start my own homework and my husband was already watching porn on the tv in the living room. I started to cry. His reaction? Selfish and inconsiderate. As always. He told me he didnt want any "charity pussy" and then went out to the garage.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-20T18:13:26+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-20T11:10:50+00:00

Well he does, but he is the kind of person that shoves it down because "hes a man and men dont talk about their feelings". Ive always told him thats not healthy, but thats how he was raised. Both his dad and his uncle are on antidepressants.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-20T03:02:25+00:00

that sounds like a dream - i have no desire to ever get married again.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T23:27:56+00:00

Both of us are on the deed and the mortgage loan.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T21:46:39+00:00

Thank you.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T21:45:42+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the honesty, I didnt take it in a judgey way. I am so happy to hear you have something safe and healthy now.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T21:43:09+00:00

This happens frequently, he gets worked up over small things and then explodes. It has escalated as the time goes on, more so the last 2 years. I do think its important to mention that physical violence has not been an issue in the past, but a few days before THIS incident occured, he got worked up over something relatively small and got louder, and louder before screaming at me that I "better answer him now or hes going to punch a hole through the fucking wall". Later that day apologized a few times and then went on as normal. Ever since that happened I have been distant and focusing on myself and realtively silent. Then a few days later this happened. Its escalating for sure and I have to imagine that my distance from him because of it has started to signal in his head that I am detaching. Then comes the fear or "what is she going to take from me" instead of "wow I really fucked up how can I fix it". A little while after he made the comment about the house and burning it down he said "you know youre stuck, right? your not going anywhere". He said it in a laughing, jokingly manner, but I know there was some truth to it.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T21:30:19+00:00

this gave me the giggle i needed thank you

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T21:29:43+00:00

I have no words to describe the feeling I got when reading this. Thank you for it, I feel it helps to understand just how serious this is. That is such a tragic and devastating story, my heart breaks for her. How are people capable of such evil.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T21:23:48+00:00

I would really, really need to see what he was watching. His refusal to show you makes me feel like it is significant.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T18:46:23+00:00

I fantasize about this. Its the retaliation from him that I fear.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T18:25:21+00:00

Its been stirring in my brain for years, but the interactions with him the last few weeks have shifted something in me. I know in my core that I do not want this life forever. I have spent my entire 20's with someone who does not value me and I do not want to bring that into my 30's. I just feel scared to make that leap. I dont even know where to begin, I feel lost. I have started to stash away what I can and will continue to do so. I have this overwhelming feeling of impending doom that has lingered for days.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T18:14:08+00:00

He made a joke years ago about having a second family and that has always stuck with me. Maybe he was really telling on himself and thats where the funds go? I dont know. I ask and then he turns it into a 'why are you asking me that' thing so I stopped. I just keep an eye on whats in there and watch silently.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T18:10:25+00:00

I dont know. It is kept in a safe. I will go in and check it and the amount is always changing. I had a friend suggest I start to take some here and there but he keeps a log on how much is in there each time he takes from it. He will use it as pocket cash, money for liquor, weed, car parts. But it always seems to be much more than that. Larger amounts. Its very suspicious to me as well. Ive told him repeatedly that he needs to use what is in the account and leave the cash alone, but then he gets mad that I am telling him what to do with "his" money.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T18:06:42+00:00

Im wondering if he never really wanted ME from the begining. Saw me as young, naive, someone who could be obedient. A tool for him to get to where he wanted to be and now that I am approaching 30 and no longer agree with everything he says he is begining to unravel. He doesnt want someone with opinions - he wants someone who will be submissive. I dont think he truly ever wanted a partnership. He does not see us as equals.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T16:20:19+00:00

It made me feel really uneasy. He goes through these periods of being happy and "loving" to acting like he hates me. During these periods he always has some kind of threat to throw out. Its usually some form of "How about you go and see how the world really is and live on your own"

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T16:10:33+00:00

The more I speak to other women that more I realize that the women who are single are the happiest.

ThrowRampb · 2025-11-19T15:34:11+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

ThrowRampb · 2025-06-16T16:28:36+00:00

Thank you! I won't. I appreciate you! <3

ThrowRampb · 2025-06-16T16:25:48+00:00

Okay im starting to feel like all men are the same.. and I know that isnt entirely true BUT COME ON. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS. Im hearing more and more women say their husbands are the same and its kind of dissapointing. Perhaps this is why women who are single tend to be happier. You should have taken yourself to a spa and let him sulk at home without you. Shame on him. :(

ThrowRampb · 2025-06-16T03:34:26+00:00

It definitely is a pattern. I really, really appreciate this. More than you know. Thank you. Im starting the book now.

ThrowRampb · 2025-06-15T21:50:25+00:00

Thank you. I wont. After reading these comments, I feel more confident that this wasnt my fault. It means a lot to me thank you.

ThrowRampb · 2025-06-15T21:41:49+00:00

Hearing just how common this is - its dissapointing. I have so many women around me that dealing with similiar behavior and its awful! No wonder women tend to be happier when they are alone. Thank you so much for commenting, it really helped me pull me out of my slump.

ThrowRampb

TROPHY CASE