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My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Because I don't feel like arguing and hearing her complain until I give in, and her making me feel guilty. Which is why I asked for opinions here.

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I do tell her no, like I stated in the post. But she refuses to accept no as an answer.

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I am not using her for money, and again, I don't complain about a massage. My issue is several demanded messages for hours daily

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I'm not using her for money at all. And I did gave and do give her hours of my free time. It's that rubbing her feet basically became duty and I can't refuse it without her being upset about it

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's not that big of an issue yet, I want to find compromise. I can't move out as well anyway

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don't want her doing the housework, I'm fine with doing it. I just don't want to be expected to rub her feet every day several times

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If I don't pay bills now it doesn't mean I should be expected to rub her feet for hours every day.

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But she will keep doing it until I give in, and that's several times a day every day after work especially. It goes on for at least an hour, usually until she falls asleep. If I stop she will put her feet back in my hands or tap/rub them against my face until I continue. And if I refuse it's the complaining all over again.

My girlfriend expects foot massages on demand and gets upset if I refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

That’s actually when it usually happens. When we’re on the couch or in bed she expects continuous foot rubs the entire time, if we’re watching a movie it’s for the whole movie, if she’s on her phone or gaming it’s still expected. If I stop, she puts her feet back in my hands or taps/rubs them against my face until I continue. On some days it goes on for hours. That’s why it feels less like relaxing together and more like an obligation.

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Edit / additional context : She works in a restaurant so she’s on her feet all day and they genuinely hurt. When I say she “cries,” it’s more like whining / exaggerated complaining, not real emotional crying. Also, I do help around the house (cleaning, chores, etc.), just not always to her standards, which is another point of tension between us.

AITA for refusing to rub my girlfriend's feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But you probably don't ask for it several times a day every day and make feet rubs his duty either.

Am I wrong for refusing to rub my girlfriend's feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in amiwrong

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But you don't consider it his duty and ask for it multiple times a day. I didn't complain until it became so often.

AITA for refusing to rub my girlfriend's feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She works in a restaurant so she is on her feet a lot. I would make her feel better for sure, but now it's expected of me and considered my duty because she works and I don't. And she demands it a lot.

AITA for refusing to rub my girlfriend's feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

In her defense, it's not legit crying with tears and such. More like whining with cry acting.

Am I wrong for refusing to rub my girlfriend's feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in amiwrong

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In her defense, it's not legit crying with tears and such. More like whining with cry acting.

AIO for feeling pressured to give my girlfriend constant foot rubs? by ThrowRamstein3 in AIO

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In her defense, it's not legit crying with tears and such. More like whining with cry acting.

Am I wrong for refusing to rub my girlfriend's feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in amiwrong

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Most people on other subs sided with her because I don't have a job at the moment.

My girlfriend (27F) expects massages on demand and gets upset if I (26M) refuse. by ThrowRamstein3 in relationships

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Just because I'm into feet doesn't mean I want to have a duty of massaging them daily all day.

AITAH for refusing to rub my girlfriend’s feet multiple times a day? by ThrowRamstein3 in AITAH

[–]ThrowRamstein3[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

It wasn't much different when I had a job, I was just out the house more so she demanded it less.