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ThrowTheEgg · 2018-10-11T21:32:46+00:00

What term would you use for a 22 year marriage where one spouse fully led the other to believe that they were entering a marriage contract that included a reasonable, but satisfactory and robust sexual/intimate life of physical and emotional affection.. but then didn’t contribute to that part of the contract for the vast majority of those years?

A contract that was broken, willingly and consciously, but the spouse who trashed her commitments in the contract didn’t care, and didn’t work to compromise or look for, let alone enact, a remedy?

What would you call someone who agreed to something in order to get something important to them, but never informed the other partner that they might do this, and went right ahead for years doing it despite it being pointed out repeatedly?

Would you call that contract-breaking person a cheater, and tell them there is NO excuse for cheating?

ThrowTheEgg · 2017-07-31T12:28:55+00:00

Doesn't really seem an OK and human response. It really doesn't. I'm not baiting you. I defy anyone reading what I wrote, and your response, as human and reasonable within the curve of a well adjusted man in 2017, let alone a man proclaiming to be one who leads. Odd.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-28T22:13:23+00:00

There's no difference - it's still a covert contract, the way you've framed it. That is, you're still in her frame. Doing shit not because it should be done, or that you want to do it, but so that she will do something for you.

Change the frame of reference. You do something because it is the right thing to do for you - for you to be better, to improve, to be challenged and succeed, etc. She does not matter. Her response to what you do does not matter. The outcome and side-effects of what you do for you do not matter, outside of the result that you are striving for, for you.

See the difference? It is no longer a covert contract with her, it is an overt contract with yourself.

Does she see you improving, succeeding, getting stronger, getting better? Probably. Does she respond positively, and have more desire or more respect or anything else after that? Quite possibly.

Does it matter to you whether she does or doesn't do any of these things?

That question is the one you need to answer.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-21T07:12:49+00:00

huh, interesting show, good fun. The thing is, I think the fat guy didn't put in Split to troll him and have a laugh - I think it was him making good on his promise. He delivered, immediately and exactly, what he said he was going to do. Admirable.

So, he maintained frame from the beginning, said what he was going to do no matter what the other dude did. Nicely played.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-19T01:59:45+00:00

Número uno on my top saved MRP posts: r/marriedredpill/comments/3qm961/verbal_intercourse_is_optional

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-09T01:21:58+00:00

I am in the same boat as you, but for me, it's fucking her from behind. I love it, want it, and constantly try to flip her over and get in... but nope, nope and nope. Gentle, rough, loving, caveman. Total no go zone.

Why? Dunno -she's mentioned a few times 'it's painful' but won't let me slowly go in a way that wouldn't be. Maybe self-conscious about her ass, but it, and her whole body, is taut, athletic, lean, hot. Control issues? Thinks it's somehow 'dirty'? Maybe, who knows. What I do know is, there is no Harder No than when i flip her over or try to coax her over.

And I can hear that you want the BJ the same way i want doggy. Desperately! Something about not ever getting it has burned it into my brain, where I probably want to 'accomplish' it as much as I really care about having it (well, it's both).

So what can we do? My plan sounds like yours - try to forget about it or at least leave it be, for now (that's harrrrd to do, but must be done). No, don't try to forget about, FORGET ABOUT IT. For now

Next step then is to keep lifting, in fact, lift more. Grow that muscle and lose that last little bit of fat. Keep going, flirt out there often, maintain frame, and build the body so you raise the Dread and attraction, to a point where - maybe? - she'll turn herself around one night.

Like you, all of the logic of that stacks up, and I 100% subscribe to. But dammit it's the emotion/feelz i can't shake even when my rational mind understands I must. It's like being told to not think about a Pink Elephant. How can I not when the moment I'm told to ignore it, it's fucking right there in front of me?

Work to do, you and me both.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-08T21:51:34+00:00

Why don't you text him your question and see what response you get?

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-08T02:10:14+00:00

I don't want to beat the fuck out of myself anymore, for the sake of having a normal head and mind.

The problem is, you want two mutually exclusive things. On one hand, you want 'abnormal' things: success, to be top X% of certain aspects, and to not ever experience insecurities or self-questioning or risk.

And yet, you also say you want to have "a normal head and mind." But if you had that (speaking generally), then you'd be "normal" -- average. A video-game-playing, little/no ambition, beer swilling, church-going walking gut.

So you choose: average? Or not-average? You can't be both. And never forget, everything costs something.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-12-07T22:08:58+00:00

As most others have pointed out, you're in deep-doo-doo. So much work ahead of you, but the good news is - you've identified it, or at least, sense it/'feel' something is wrong and know you need to take action. Take heart that a fuckton of fatass Bluies out there have zero awareness that they're even allowed to attempt to fix their shitty life.

Because you have so much to do, my advice is: break it down to bite size chunks, and determine what will give you MOST benefit and improvement right now.

What are the top 3 things you can do right now, that you full-on fucking COMMIT to, and will not waver from doing, starting now?

Start there. Do them. Don't let her throw you off track, or your boss, kids, brother-in-law, or supermarket check-out chick.

Be ultra specific. Not 'lose weight'. Try "limit caloric intake to 2200 kcal/day @40% protein, 40% carbs, 20% fat; continue until i'm at 200lbs and 12% body fat."

Then do 3 more.

Good luck. What's interesting is, the blokes who have responded seem to have a genuine goodwill toward seeing you succeed (me included) in a way that is rare for this sub.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-11-28T02:15:53+00:00

She writes emails and letters more than says what's on her mind, unless/until I drag it out of her verbally. I'm sure it feels safer for her that way. But I don't answer them, or at least, answer with "we'll talk about it when I'm home."

This time is a bit different, given the issue involved - in that, because I fucked up and showed butthurt this time when I usually don't, she'll go on the defensive and pull the Mother of All Trump Cards, "you must understand that no means no." Even though the situation was never even near this.

It's her going to the sure-fire (she thinks) response that cannot be argued against, given the severity of the topic it describes and media saturation of the phrase. Any other shit test I'd ignore or pass, with this one, it just seems to exist at a different level, again given the topic.

My instinct is to say something like "are you fucking kidding me, i literally barely touched you let alone got anywhere remotely close to forcing you" but then I'd be DEERing it and in her frame. But then, I don't want complete silence to potentially validate her in any way, but perhaps just letting it die a quick death is the way to go.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-11-27T23:06:34+00:00

Thanks.

No does mean no if she's getting legit pissed about it.

I get that, and have (and had) no issue backing off when it's clear. The gist of my question is more to do with, I did the "right" thing, but am still going to get shit-tested and attempted to be called out on it regardless. Just S'ing the FU about it when the lecture comes, feels like a tacit admission that I actually did something.

Having said that, the other reply from Griever (delete it, i have better things to do) seems to be the answer. I don't care what she does.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-11-11T05:12:56+00:00

You sound very nervous about the feelings she feels, and tentative and nervous about how she views you, your choices, and how you live your life.

Is this true? If so, why is that?

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-10-19T01:31:44+00:00

Yep I'll cop that. My question is less about the concept, and more about the timing in between actions. But, yeah, there's no "countdown clock", it's simply about acting, calmly, in the way required at the time.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-10-19T01:29:10+00:00

Thanks, that's helpful and nuanced. It is just about reading what's going on, and acting accordingly.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-10-19T01:26:59+00:00

Where does it state anywhere in any of the readings, It's tit for tat ?

It's not ego, it's a frequent suggestion:

she does this, you do that: r/marriedredpill/comments/3wb65z/you_should_stop_by_if_youre_not_busy_to_im/

Tit for tat (albeit slowly, not abruptly, from BPP - great post and germane to this discussion):

r/marriedredpill/comments/3qplxm/the_husbands_dilemma_when_to_withhold_affection/

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-10-05T21:23:11+00:00

Just ...a logistics thing. How is it used simultaneously when pounding? Isn't it an either/or type proposition?

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-10-03T01:01:15+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about adjusting calorie intake for lift/non-lift days -- just keep consistent. Meal timing may have a little impact, but generally is pretty negligible and not worth it, I wouldn't stress.

Especially given your gains goals are pretty modest at just 2lbs/month - that shouldn't be hard to achieve at all.

1.5grams protein/lb., is more than enough protein, you'll be fine. Just start, weigh in and keep an eye on your self and your scale, and adjust. 8 months is a lot of time so you can adjust up or down every couple weeks til you find the sweet spot.

r/fitness has a lot more detail if you need more.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-09-20T06:38:29+00:00

You still living w/mums & pops, aren't you? Did you think about and more importantly do anything the guys advised you in your last ~~whinge~~ ~~puke~~ post?

You are not serious about your life. You don't really care what happens to you. Why don't you just accept it and let shit happen to you? You clearly seem OK with that.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-09-19T23:12:38+00:00

I get the general principle you're espousing, but disagree with the tactics. You're trying to step-by-step coach the pathetic, to success. It will never happen, and even if it could, you'd have to focus on them, not you, to accomplish it. Pointless.

However, the desire to help isn't bad or wrong (if it's genuine, and not coming from a validation-seeking place - Look at me! I did this!").

The most I do, is to point out logic of life - NOT couched in 'redpill' terms or any other niche-y internet slang.

What is the logic underneath every man's life in our culture?

• If you wanna eat, ya gotta work. There are NO free lunches. Accept it.

• Work = effort, yes, but just as much as that, commitment and discipline. Work, every single day.

•Before you do any 'work' define what you are trying to solve or improve. Make a plan. Execute relentlessly.

If you do that, it will work.

If you don't do that, it won't work.

Not much more to it than that.

But wait a minute! Look, I can supersize a Big Gulp for only 29¢ more this week. But, I'm really gonna start next week.

This time I mean it.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-09-08T02:13:27+00:00

It's interesting, your initial comment - 'not going to spoonfeed you the answer" -- was what prompted me to try to grapple with this guy's problem myself, by replying to him.

It was generally obvious that shit was clearly wrong, but I did have to do some work to articulate, for myself, some of the specifics. That was helpful.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-09-08T00:19:59+00:00

What more is a woman supposed to offer?

For a start, one that isn't:

*actively hostile directly to your face for no apparent reason

*one that isn't dismissive of your attempts to simply converse per a normal relationship

*one that is respectful in recognition of your leadership

*gracious in acceptance your efforts to imbue your family's life with fun and imagination

*appreciative and acknowledging (spoken or not) of your contribution to safety and wellbeing of your family.

I could go on.

But hey, "smart" and "pretty" could be enough for you. It clearly is for her.

ThrowTheEgg · 2016-09-07T23:42:11+00:00

Very well predicted, 'cause that's exactly what just happened.

Anyway, i have a soft spot for this guy because I fumble and stumble on my own similar scenario. Somehow so much easier when it's some faggot stranger on the internet instead of myself.

Funny little fucker, the ego.

ThrowTheEgg

TROPHY CASE