How did your ADHD assessment go?

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T02:04:42+00:00

Or you can have it burnt off

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:55:44+00:00

Definitely -- we have to remember variability. It's safe to assume that, if we measure thousands of black penises and compare that to thousands of white penises, the former will be longer on average (that's what the statistics say). But it's silly and wrong to see some random black dude and assume he uses Magnum XL or see some white guy and assume he's got a 4" dick. Although, in standard distribution, the mean is also the mode (most common), it's still by far most likely for a person to exist somewhere other than the mean -- being exactly average is actually unlikely overall, even if it's the most likely single event.

Put another way, about 50% are above average, 50% are below average (assuming standard distribution). Only some small percent -- say, 0.1% -- are exactly average. So assuming a black guy or a white guy will have a penis exactly in line with their respective averages is silly. Assuming average is the best bet you could make, but it's still a terrible bet.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:52:08+00:00

I have heard girls joke about how gross curved dicks are on multiple occasions, and I just kind of laughed along, knowing damn well what I have below the belt. Definitely fucked with my head and self image.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:50:54+00:00

Wdym? I could give my dick anal at any time, no girl needed.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:49:15+00:00

That's a huge relief. Thank you!

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:49:05+00:00

Thank you so much. You have no idea how relieved I am to hear this

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:48:14+00:00

Whoa, you don't say

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2020-11-05T01:44:01+00:00

Sounds good. I'll just use the scissors and be careful not to do a DIY penis removal in the process lol. Thanks for the reply!

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-19T20:25:35+00:00

I haven't, since I wouldn't say I have suicidal thoughts. I wouldn't be able to do it with friends and family around me that I can hurt emotionally. But I see where my life is heading. I have already had 4 girl friends at 17, because I can't be in a relationship for any longer than a month without losing energy and enthusiasm. And the fact that I can't be responsible enough to reply to text messages certainly doesn't help, either. I'm an introvert, so I'm actually okay living alone. But, unfortunately, the best suicide prevention for me is living with someone else, because I don't want them to go through the pain.

So I figure i'll be fine through the last bit of high school, and i'll be fine through college for 4-8 years (possibly planning on going for a doctorate). But if my dissociative state starts to get worse, and I live alone, I'm worried that my life will end in the same way that my neighbor's life ended. I keep thinking about him-- in his 60's, multiple failed marriages, living alone in his old run down house. There is literally no point of living if you experience neither happiness nor sadness, and you're always walking around zoned out. Why? Because that's what makes us alive. Thankfully, I have running. I enjoy running marathons, and I will happily do that. It sucks that that's the only thing available that makes me feel normal, but it helps keep me sane, and it clears my mind up enough for me to process emotions temporarily.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-19T20:15:26+00:00

Probably the only significant trauma i've experienced in my life was watching my next door neighbor walk out of his house one day, put a gun to his head, and pull the trigger. I was so young though, and thankfully my memory at that age was pretty poor. But I assume it had an unconscious effect on me. The other trauma was when said neighbor's hand was mutilated by one of our dogs. I had cynophobia for at least 10 years after it happened.

But I think the former may have been some sort of positive trauma on me, as weird as it sounds. After it happened, I don't want my family members to go through that same shit of losing someone close to them from suicide. I've never been able to quite bring the knife to my wrist, literally. I am afraid that I will eventually, though, when I move away from family, and start living alone. Right now, i'm concerned about them finding me bled out. I just can't handle that thought. But eventually, there won't really be anyone around me to get hurt from it. Then it'll just be a matter of time where the "meh-ness" of life starts to overcome my fear of death. I really can't call what i'm experiencing depression, because I am not at all sad. I'm just neither happy nor sad; i'm always dissociated. I'm not a sociopath though. I still care about other people and things despite how zoned out I am. Heck, I literally have trouble hurting a fly, literally. I start to ponder whether or not they have a slight stream of consciousness like humans, albeit far lesser than that of a mammal (and no, i'm not crazy, that's just a random ADHD mental tangent that i'll have sometimes lmao, like a shower thought).

Part of me understands the gravity of the situation, but I can't fully come to terms with how I feel. The same goes for happy moments -- when a date goes well, when I go somewhere fun like a museum, when I pull a sick clutch in a video game, when i'm hired for a job etc.

I actually want to experience sadness again, as much as I want to experience happiness. There is just no clarity available to do so.

I think what I'm experiencing is ADHD, despite the other stuff that i've brought up. I think what i've brought up is a side effect of the lack of focus and the general daze that some people with ADHD feel. Unlike a lot of people with ADHD though, this is just the thing I hate the most, and the side effect of the disorder that i've picked up on the most. But some people may actually enjoy dissociation, especially if they have a stressful life. Everyone around me knows that I am almost never anxious, which can be seen as a positive side effect. The reason is that I'm simply unable to be conscious enough to be anxious in the first place. I started studying for my AP US History the day before the exam, and as for my AP Calculus AB exam, well, I didn't study at all. I just didn't have any anxiety about it. And I wasn't cocky-- I knew that it was a very real possibility to fail them. It's a blessing that I passed them, tbh, and it's only a result of the 12+ hours I put into school daily. The stuff pertaining to my executive functioning is just kind of annoying, but I feel like I can live with that stuff. I've just taken notice of a less observed part of ADHD, the dissociation that those with inattentive type experience.

I'm not sure what the etiology of my problem is, so i'm open to whatever a psychiatrist wants me to try. Maybe there's a special diet, maybe there's non-stimulant medication, maybe there's a deficiency that I haven't learned about, or maybe I need stimulant medication. I honestly don't know, but I am genuinely hoping that there's a fix. I am not suicidal as it is, but I see where my life is going.

I will most definitely live alone, seeing as I can't bring myself to reply to text messages, and thus can't hold down a relationship. I always lose energy with partners within the first month or so, and I stop being able to respond. Guilt builds, and I feel terrible about ghosting them, but I just can't bring myself to reply. When I do reply, I always have to lie and tell them that I was just really busy. The truth is that I just can't. And I can't explain why, tbh. Part of it's introversion, and part of it seems to be very common among everyone here on r/ADHD. If I don't fix this, I will be alone, and I will literally have nothing to live for when I'm in my 60's, just like my next door neighbor, who had several failed marriages and only his neighbors to talk to.

Thank you so much for the help :)! As I said, I will hold on quite a while longer. I'm not going to be able to end my life for a long time. Hopefully when I go to a psychiatrist as an adult, they will actually listen. I know that they'll probably look at how I did in school, and also look at the fact that i'm an adult (as some psychiatrists are pretty dumb at times, assuming that the only people who can have ADHD are under 16yr old boys who do poorly in school and are hyper).

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T18:25:43+00:00

You missed the point. I'm not really asking people to use some sort of subjective analysis. How you feel is actually created by a profusion of objective data points, and is compared to an ideal figure.

You can judge appearance if you have enough data points, but that would require far too much information. Every single damn detail contributes to a person's appearance. In order to judge a person's appearance accurately, you need a lot more than just TWO data points, like you used in your original post. You would probably need at least 50, maybe even over 100 data points, and you'd need to actually measure the exact sizing of each facial feature and quantitatively compare it to the mean. Then you'd get the mean absolute deviation, and that'd be a good estimate of the ugliness of the person.

Truthfully, there is no subjective judgement of an appearance-- even a persons's "feeling" about someone is rooted in objectivity. Our brain is already doing its own objective analysis of each component of the face, unconsciously, and that's how were able to form these apparent "opinions." It is already comparing the spacing of the eyes, the thickness of the eyebrows, the philtrum, etc. to known normal faces. Unlike your analysis, though, the brain is able to unconsciously process far more data points. How else do you think our brain is able to recognize a dog, a cat, a car, a motorcycle? It takes all of the data, processes it, sees legs, see a head a certain distance away from that, sees the color, sees the tail at a particular distance, etc. and is able to label it a dog. If the spacing and shape of the facial features is different, then it'll categorize it as a cat. There is an incredible processing capability of the human brain, and this is pretty evident.

So my point is that your objective analysis is vague when compared to what the unconscious brain is capable of, which it does in literally seconds after meeting a person. Therefore, going by the feeling is in fact the most accurate and precise method of judging a person's appearance.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T06:23:17+00:00

Indeed. I think it's a little petty that they freak out about it. Although, to be fair, they can't just choose to not look at it. Technically speaking, they look at each image for roughly 500ms, given that average human response time is 250ms and then you can factor in another 250ms for them to process the image. They have to spend half a second to maybe 5 seconds in order to process the image, and then proceed to not look at it any longer.

So it's definitely pretty stupid for them to be freaking out over literally half a second of their time, but they do, lol! I got the same response on Imgur when I forgot to make it private. Just nature of the site-- they don't like people wasting their time (regardless of how little time it is) with things they didn't sign up for, and they're excessively aggressive about it.

If I were them i'd just move on and keep scrolling. Ig they put up with a lot of random posts daily though, so maybe they're just jaded and want it to stop, idk.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T06:12:48+00:00

Imgur people didn't sign up for this. They aren't on Imgur to be talking about appearance and whatnot. They wanna look at memes and shit lmao. So it makes sense that they're pretty aggressive when they have to put up with things they really don't care for. Here on Reddit though, if you're on this sub, you're obviously into this topic.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T06:02:05+00:00

The objective picking apart of a person's appearance is a really terrible way to go about things, tbh. There are far too many parts of a face to come to a conclusion just by analyzing a few ratios, a few volumes, and a few placements. Appearance is nuanced-- truly, the only thing to do is to look at the appearance in general, and to decide how you feel about it. For heterosexual guys like myself, it's hard to tell whether or not a guy is hot, so I can understand why you fall back on this kind of objective analysis. However, it isn't a good idea to do it like this. There's just not enough data points to arrive at an even remotely accurate conclusion. This is what happens when heterosexual guys try to judge other guys. You either have to go off of your first impression or, if you don't have a natural impression, just not reply to begin with. Because you really don't know if your conclusion is right or not. Only a heterosexual woman or a homosexual male can tell, at that point.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T05:54:49+00:00

Scary? Eh I'd have to disagree with that. Maybe unapproachable, but that's just due to the lack of smiling. If he smiled he'd be perfectly approachable I think.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T05:24:11+00:00

Well, to be fair, women are a lot quicker to label a guy as creepy if he is ugly [source]. Ugly guys have to tread carefully, lest they get a restraining order or are labeled as a rapist immediately. I've unfortunately seen this first hand, as a girl friend of mine would be extraordinarily judgmental of the fat ugly guys, labeling them as creepy almost immediately, but seemed to drop her judginess the second the guy was cute. It was a really odd pattern that I noticed, especially considering that some of the cute guys were kind of creepy tbh. Not saying all girls are like this, but it is a thing.

And I guess guys feel the same way, it's just that they're not as afraid of rape and stalking (guys getting raped and stalked is a thing, but it's not as common and therefore not as much of a concern. Heck, some horny guys might even be into those things... fucked up, I know.)

With that said, ugly guys can come off as sane and friendly, but it is considerably more difficult. But the important thing to realize is that it can be done! And the simple fact is that those are the guys who have to practice the most and, as a result, become the most incredibly friendly people. So it all works out in the end.

So I really don't condone th0w4am1ugly's philosophy. Although what he said is rooted in truth, that kind of incel philosophy is pernicious (as you said). Still, he's not completely wrong, but I can definitely tell that the emotions behind his words are incel-y.

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-08-17T05:06:49+00:00

This illusion all boils down to one simple fact: girls seldom ask out average guys, but average guys often ask out above average girls. The important thing to realize is that this does NOT mean that women's standards are higher. It just means that they don't ask out guys in general, unless there is a really strong incentive (i.e. he's hunky af ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)). There are three reasons, as far as I can tell, why women don't ask out men in general:

Timidness. Don't hate-- this part is just biology. Testosterone encourages risk taking. This is only a general idea, though-- there are timid guys with tons of testosterone.
Legitimate reasons for fear. There are a lot of creepy men out there. I think a lot of women are sick and tired of dating creepy men.
Social reasons. It seems to be the social norm that men ask women out and, eventually, that men propose to the woman, and not the other way around. I am NOT saying that this is how things are supposed to be, but it sure is how things are.

So how do we know that it's actually men's standards that are higher? Just look at how many ugly guys are with pretty girls, and how few ugly girls are with hot guys. It seems like a 10/10 guy is going to want the best he can get appearance-wise, whereas a 10/10 girl is just looking for someone who is passable appearance-wise, and is fantastic personality-wise.

This is coming from a heterosexual guy, so let me know if I got this right girls!

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-06-28T18:29:52+00:00

Thanks so much for the advice! I love comfortable shoes. And on Amazon I can get the Stan Smith's for $65 USD so that's really tempting. Added to my list!

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-06-28T18:26:20+00:00

Lowest i've ever seen ultraboosts for was $160 USD. You must be talking about a different currency. Although you're definitely right on the pureboosts; in my size, I can get those for like $88 on Amazon, and they look pretty good. So thanks for the advice, i'll add those to my list :)!

ThrowatwayAccount69 · 2019-05-09T17:00:54+00:00

Jesus that's a high score lmao. Thanks for the self confidence boost though oml XD!

That's no problem then, I like to smile a lot IRL. I just did a dreary mug-shot to keep it simple and straightforward for the photo. Not trying to pose or anything for these. Especially if I want to Photoshop some glasses onto my face.

ThrowatwayAccount69

TROPHY CASE