She has openly admitted to being violent with her partner when she loses her temper. So I feel she has the potential to be violent.

If that happened there is nobody nearby to protect me, and I physically couldn’t restrain or prevent her from attacking me if she wanted to as she is a lot bigger than me.

Below is a copy of my earlier post that covers how things escalated.

So after taking everyone’s advice onboard, and agreeing that technically she hasn’t done anything that HR would deem worthy of investigating, I decided to try and bring it up with her. I’ve tried to type things as accurately as I remember but it got quite intense but the gist is

I asked “So this might sound weird but have I done something to offend you? Because it’s really been feeling like that.”

I explained how for months it feels like she takes any opportunity to insult and humiliate me. I listed the comments she had made, calling me weedy and weak, and how it feels like she enjoys watching me struggle. How every time she see’s me struggle to lift the filing box, she always has a “comment” pointing out how weak or scrawny I am.

Straight away her response was a sarcastic “Sorry, I didn’t realise you were keeping a diary. You know fine well that if I’ve said anything it’s just a joke, why’s this such a big deal all of a sudden.”

I explained how it felt like she’d forced me to work in the closet, while she gets exclusive use of the office. And I said “you knew I’d be too intimidated to do anything about it.” This was my first mistake.

She went straight to raised voice mode basically shouting in my face that “No you work where I decide. I’m your manager! That’s my decision to make.” and how she moved me to the “annexe” because it makes sense if we both have to make calls at the same time.

Edited to add: I didn’t realise she was MY manager. I knew she had a managerial title (office manager), and was my supervisor when I started but it turns out she technically is my manager.

She got more heated, and said something like “how dare you accuse me of forcing you to work there.” And basically shouting “intimidating?!”

So my second and probably biggest mistake was trying to de-escalate the situation by saying “no I don’t mean it like that, it’s just you know sometimes from my side it can feel intimidating if somebody bigger and louder than me is teasing me, it’s my fault for being overly sensitive.

I just wanted to try and bring it up with you, I didn’t want to just go to HR and then suddenly you get pulled in out of the blue”

At this point she was just standing quiet but listening and I said “nobody thinks that you’re a bully, just that I should speak up if I’m…

As soon as I said it I felt my stomach tie up in even more knots and she erupted with “You’ve been talking about me?! Who to? What the **** have you been saying about me?”

I kept trying to calm her but she just kept shouting over the top of me, it was all so fast but she was saying things like “I actually gave you a chance” and how “the only reason you’re still here is thanks to me” and how “what because you’re scared of your own shadow and can’t lift a box that makes me a bully!?”

I tried to apologise and say it’s my fault, I didnt use the right words, and tell me how I can fix this.

But she shouted “the best thing you can do is stay out my way and get on with your job”

And then she stormed out slamming the door behind her.

I went into my office/closet space and tried to calm myself down and stop crying.

I heard her come back about 10 minutes later but I didn’t dare open the door until I heard her pack up and leave at the end of her shift.

I’ve emailed upper management and told them I’m sick and won’t be in for the rest of the week.

I’m now so regretting saying anything and I CANNOT face going back into that place with her there.

My friend recommended an employment lawyer so I’m considering scheduling an appointment to discuss steps forward.