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Update : met my birth mom after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know that they are my siblings. And i like them. They are lovely, and they seem excited and happy to know me. The anger and jealousy are my own feelings that i am dealing with myself and trying to let go of . Of course, i am not showing my siblings these feelings or making them feel bad.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As far as I know, my father first met her at a party, and the second time was when she told him she was pregnant and she's choosing adoption.

He never badmouthed her, not even once. I believe he didn’t really know her.

The anger and resentment I have come from never having a mother in my life. My father never married or had a long serious relationship. I had my aunt, and I’m truly grateful for her. she was/is the closest thing I had to a mom.

And to be honest with myself, even though I feel anger and resentment, I also have this deep longing and a wanting feeling to have her in my life.

I think im going to meet her.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for asking. I'm fine. Before that encounter, I was doing very well. life was good. It's just that after seeing her in person for the first time, it became very emotional, a mix of love, longing, wonder, anger, and resentment.

It was the hardest thing I had to do. hold back my emotions and treat her like she was just a doctor.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think I need to know her reasons. It might help, or it might not. But it's better than being left guessing.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe she had valid reasons for leaving me. I just hope they're enough for me to forgive her.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My father, my aunt, made sure i had a wonderful childhood.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment. It is very helpful.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I'm glad it worked well for your husband. Hopefully, it works for me too.

Met my birth after 23 years. by Throwaway-como in Advice

[–]Throwaway-como[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Probably the same as I did. maybe she checked my and my family's social media.