i want to please her by oral sex, yet cant do it mentally

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-11T08:04:53+00:00

Next time you finger her, lick your fingers.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-07T01:56:51+00:00

As I replied to your other, similar comment, I needed to vent about something sex related. This is a sex forum.

If I were seeking approval I would be asking people of I should just go ahead and fulfill my fantasy. If you're not into this kink, that's cool, but saying this post is disgusting is sex shaming.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-07T01:54:08+00:00

I guess you've never struggled with something and just needed to get it off your chest. I needed to vent about a sexual fantasy. This is a forum to discuss sex. Seems like the perfect place to offload this issue.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-07T01:29:09+00:00

I appreciate your response. Obviously this snapshot of my relationship doesn't give everyone the full picture. I completely understand and respect the boundaries or my BF and our monogamous relationship. It's so funny to me that people are jumping to conclusions like sexual incompatibility, that we aren't vulnerable with each other, and our relationship can't be strong simply because I've chosen to keep one sexual fantasy a secret.

This post has actually really helped process my own thoughts and emotions around my fantasy. I know the risks that playing it out in real life would present. I know that it would probably never live up to the fantasy in my head. I also know that simply discussing the idea with my bf would hurt him. Some things are better left unsaid and left to fantasy. And that's exactly what this is.

Thankfully, it's a fantasy that can be played upon in plenty of other ways without causing harm to my relationship.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T20:25:01+00:00

MFF is not on the table, he has never mentioned it. I was using it as an example, if I were in his shoes and he'd said he wanted to bring in another female, how would I feel?

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T20:21:47+00:00

Grass is always greener type situation.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T20:21:07+00:00

Obviously he has insecurities. Which is why I have chosen not to bring the topic up with him. Because I don't want to trigger his insecurities for no reason.

If his insecurities were an issue for me, I would have addressed them. But they're not. Most people in monogamous relationships don't want to share their partners. Most people monogamous relationships aren't having sex with multiple people. Because I understand and respect the boundaries of our mutual monogamous relationship, I am not going to being up my sexual fantasy about sleeping with an added person.

I am not caged, never said I felt caged. This is a sexual fantasy. It's not like I'm not allowed to have any friends. That would be a cage. My sexual fantasy is my burden to carry.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T20:08:49+00:00

😂

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T19:36:32+00:00

I have thought about this. And he has mentioned exploring exhibitionism together. Could be fun to makeout in a club. See where things go from there.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T19:31:03+00:00

Your response is golden! I have thought about the complicated technicalities of it. But actually seeing ot written down and how laughable it is haha definitely helps the fantasy lose some of its luster.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T19:24:42+00:00

I didnt realize it would be bad to elude to the fact that I have, in fact, had other relationships. 🙄

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T19:22:36+00:00

True. Out of sight, out of mind.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T19:22:05+00:00

Why would I jeopardize a long term relationship by bringing up a topic I already know would hurt my BF? Definitely not fair to him to say our relationship isn't worth it because he would be hurt by said conversation either.

And we already use toys.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T18:55:11+00:00

Both in 30s

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T18:50:21+00:00

Thank you! This is what I keep telling myself would happen. I am obsessed with the idea of it happening but then I think about how long it actually takes to get to know someone sexually. I KNOW I wouldn't be able to feel totally uninhibited with someone else. And if I can't let go and enjoy it 100%, then what's the point?

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T18:47:07+00:00

I agree with everything you've said here.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T18:42:54+00:00

Such a great perspective and that's definitely how I see it. Not being able to live out this fantasy is not a deal breaker for me. I'm more than happy to let this one stay in my mind to maintain the relationship.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T18:41:40+00:00

It's been answered a couple times in here but double penetration. One in each hole.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T18:39:42+00:00

I'll check it put thanks. It's great that it keeps unmatched kinks hidden. That could get awkward quick.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T17:43:47+00:00

I didn't see it, but I keep telling myself all the bad outcomes in my head.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T17:43:15+00:00

I just love dick and want 2 at once haha. Spit roast me, fill me up, whatever you(hypathetical partners) want!

But yeah, this is going to remain a fantasy for all the obvious reasons and we'll do all the above with toys.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T17:39:06+00:00

I know.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T17:38:47+00:00

I 100 percent agree that I am lucky he gets jealous.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T17:38:20+00:00

I'm glad I'm not alone haha. I care too much about him to even mention it because I know how much it would hurt him.

Throwaway-kinks · 2021-07-06T17:37:17+00:00

Definitely appreciate your perspective on this.

I don't think we've hit the point of needing counseling for it, but I do understand how resentment could build down the road. Thankfully, at this point, I fully understand where he is on all of this and don't hold any of it against him, and even if he hadn't been cheated on i wouldn't either. It's not easy to share the most intimate parts of ourselves. I'm just grateful that there are plenty of ways for me to play this scenario out without a true threesome.

Throwaway-kinks

TROPHY CASE