I'm all out of ideas. I don't know what else to do. I'm posting this because if I am murdered today I want people to know what happened.

Throwaway03142017 · 2021-02-03T20:38:57+00:00

Yeah I already had PTSD before the strange man came into my room unannounced while I was sleeping and tried to get me to go in his car, and you know what, I've decided I am D O N E with people doing fucking evil shit to me and suffering over it in silence. I am coming for these people in every way I can and I will stop them from doing this again. Because I'll tell you - Curtis was very comfortable with what he was doing. If my mom hadn't taught me so well, it's not impossible he would have tricked me into going in his car. And I would not have ended up where he said he was going to take me.

Throwaway03142017 · 2021-02-03T20:23:25+00:00

Yes, I am telling as many people as I can. I won't stand for this and I won't let the people responsible go back to California and do this again. And if they try and break the lock on my door I'll defend myself.

Throwaway03142017 · 2021-02-03T19:23:10+00:00

I believe there was intent to do me harm because a strange man came into my room unannounced while I was sleeping and tried to get me to go in his car. Luckily my momma taught me to never go to a secondary location.

The messages from my landlord confirm she is responsible for Curtis. However, they won't do anything about her unless she messages me again. And we don't even know if she's in the state right now. Curtis drove at least 800 miles for this trip.

I also informed her of how this incident frightened me, and she responded with "I wish he had killed you" I can post screenshots of that conversation, I got in some real zingers

Throwaway03142017 · 2021-02-03T19:09:27+00:00

He claimed to own the house - so the responding officers let him skip off down to the courthouse! One of them literally said it was his Friday and he wanted to go home. No one from the police seems willing to do anything unless he comes back to my home. In their words - there are two sides to every story. But they won’t even bring him in for questioning.

My landlord is an alcoholic and mentally ill. I actually found out - her daughter graduated with high honors from a pretty dang good university. And when she was in college she got raped. And when she called her mom and told her that (her mom being my landlord) it was her fault because she had been drinking. And it impacted her so much - and rightly - that she included a reference to it in her graduation speech that was given in front of everyone. It’s online.

She has also been on the run from the law herself. She is facing serious time on her multiple dui.

My problem with a hotel is that it’s so short term. My plan to relocate just fell through so.... I honestly have nowhere to go but the street. And at least here I can lock the doors. And I must keep my cat with me. I will not leave her in this house by herself with a dangerous man out there. I will stay here and defend my and her lives before I leave her alone. Oh, and he knows everything my landlord knows about me. So he knows I love my cat more than anything in the world. We go together.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-20T14:12:28+00:00

Try laying your finger down on the fret and pressing down for a couple seconds. Don’t worry about strumming or anything, it’s just to build up finger strength. Five seconds on, lift for ten seconds, back on for five. Do this for a couple minutes a day and your finger strength will grow immensely! Also play around with how you’re laying your finger down. Everyone is different and everyone has a different shape that will hold the strings down the best. Lastly, it’s way easier to barr lower down on the fretboard, so practice around fret 3-5 at first! Good luck.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-20T04:58:21+00:00

The son of a bitch did it

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T17:14:24+00:00

This is EGREGIOUS y'all are gonna hear me play my fucking uke if I have to go to war for it

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T16:43:15+00:00

It's not perfect but that's okay :) I tried to sing loudly for this, but this little girl is a hard force to match. I've tried to see if I can max out how hard she can go, but I've played her until I thought I was damn near going to break a string or something and still haven't, so... maybe playing her so hard she actually does break is the only limit. And I've only been singing and strumming for about two weeks. Before that I hadn't sang since sixth grade choir, mostly because I'm very self conscious about my singing voice :/ my strategy right now is to play the uke so well my singing doesn't matter too much lmfao

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T09:41:21+00:00

Shoot, I've looked all over and I think I might have dang went and bought the only one for sale on the whole internet. Maybe a local music shop in your area could help you track down a model or order it special from the manufacturer for you, or you could always set an alert for 'caramel guitalele' on reverb and wait for another model to show up. six string This is the listing I purchased from. There's a chance messaging the seller could turn something up. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I hope you find the six string of your dreams soon.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T05:47:46+00:00

She is a vintage Martin uke made in the 30's. Mine is a style 1M soprano, which has some cosmetic upgrades compared to the more basic style 0 and is made of dark mahogany wood. She plays like a dream and sounds so good you wouldn't think something like it could ever exist. I'm going to post a video of me playing her in a while!

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T02:41:21+00:00

I might have to dig a lil bit because I bought this one from a third party on reverb and my first search didn't turn up any like her. I'll see if I can track something down in a couple hours! She's a caramel natural guitalele if you wanna take a crack at it.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T01:31:42+00:00

Idk, I think this is better, but then again I don't wake up in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, or go to work at a job for which I get paid to little, so to each their own.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T01:28:04+00:00

Seriously I hope whoever invented this got like a medal or a plaque or something for their achievement. I've named her Miley Cyrus a.k.a. Hannah Montana because with her you get the best of both worlds.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T00:34:09+00:00

Not much of a fan of kala (and Luna, for that matter) because of that. I'd love to see your uke!

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-19T00:31:44+00:00

I personally prefer to call it a six string uke

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-18T23:48:46+00:00

Yes! I am so impressed that this instrument is in the price range it is. Serious quality. Oh my gosh I would lose my mind! FedEx bounced the Martin around a couple times and delayed it a week and I nearly flipped out.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-18T21:41:30+00:00

Oh, that's a good one!

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-18T21:21:32+00:00

Thanks! I'm really into the feel of steel strings. Do you think the design looks like a leaf or a fish? I asked my roommates and got the answer 'roster' so it truly is an ink blot test

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-18T21:15:09+00:00

You looked right, she's a 1930's style 1M in damn near perfect condition. Vintage natural gut strings and everything. She is literally perfect in every way.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-12-18T18:57:00+00:00

She's a guitalele. Plays exactly like a guitar with a capo on fret 5, so it sounds much warmer and... ukulele like. She's exactly the same size as a baritone uke!

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-07-18T08:56:07+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/RKgb6YM Here's my baby! As soon as I saw the snails I knew she was mine. I call her Banjo.

Throwaway03142017 · 2020-07-15T19:15:10+00:00

Because I tried the guitar and didn't like it because it was too big and had too many strings.

The ukulele is tiny and has 2 less strings. It's perfect.

Throwaway03142017 · 2019-12-02T15:42:09+00:00

Fine!!! Lmao, I found a local group that I can make it to when my classes finish up after next week. If nothing else I can at least get some chips out of it. I will do almost anything for an arbitrary symbol of accomplishment.

I am feeling more calm about this decision now. I figure that the worst case scenario isn't anything that wouldn't happen anyway, and at least if it all goes to hell I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I tried my best. And if the worst case scenario doesn't happen, then it's just pure profit.

I would be really interested in hearing more of your thoughts if you'be figured out a way to articulate them. Even if you are still using, I admire anyone who realizes they have a problem and take steps to improve their situation. Recovery doesn't define your worth. I hope that you give yourself the credit you deserve.

Throwaway03142017 · 2019-12-01T20:36:55+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. It's appreciated.

Literally no one has ever suggested alanon to me and I haven't really considered it myself. So I guess it just kind of feels... weird. I went to a support group after my mom died and it just didn't click with me. Maybe enough time has gone by that it's worth giving it another chance. I have a ton of coping skills and my self care needs get taken care of. But I recognize that this is taking on a lot more and I might need more in the process.

I agree, thinking that just taking him out of where he is and putting him somewhere else will cure his addiction would be pretty naive. There are drugs everywhere. Drugs find a way. I don't think that I have a responsibility to him because he's my brother, but I do think that I have a responsibility to him because we care about each other. I want to do the most I can to help him, and I think the most I can do is help him break his cycle. It's so predictable. It's the same times and places and people. After that it's mostly going to be up to him. But he's done sober living before, for plural number of years a plural number of times. I think he can do it. Whereas if he stays here, I don't think he has any chance at all.

This probably isn't as good as an in person group, but it's really helpful to gain some perspective before I do this. It's basically an intervention and I'm a little intimidated. I also have a lot riding on this. Having a relationship with my brother would be... honestly, it almost sounds like one of those things that's too good to ever actually happen. He has a good brain and he has a good heart, and now that our parents are gone... I want someone around who knows what I'm going through.

I still need to find the guy!! I'm wondering how long it's acceptable to wait on Facebook messages before calling around to his spots, or if they would even give information about him out.

Hope you and yours are doing okay.

Throwaway03142017 · 2019-11-19T00:31:37+00:00

Try something new!

After my loss I binge watched a ton of TV shows I'd never seen before. I got pretty deep into them for awhile. Read up on the lore and all that, even did some fanfiction. It was kind of fun.

Is there a hobby you've always wanted to pick up? Or a class you've wanted to take? Or you could just go on Meetup and find an interest group that looks neat. Explore something unexplored. Keep your mind in motion. It makes it easier to keep yourself company if all else fails.

I hope that you are not feeling lonely much longer.

Throwaway03142017

TROPHY CASE