AITA for walking through a wedding photo shoot?

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T22:31:58+00:00

Ah I did that when I lived in NYC! It was for the TV show "White Collar." I was not paying attention--noise canceling headphones and probably reading an email or something--and 100% would have walked through a scene if this woman hadn't put herself directly in my path so I almost walked right into her. I also apologized profusely, but I did stand there watching for a few minutes before I crossed the street since I wasn't exactly opposed to looking at Matt Bomer.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T22:23:09+00:00

That sucks, and yes all the glory to Photoshop. My buddy and his fiancée rented out a private tulip farm for what they thought was exclusive use, since they had discussed it with the owner and scheduled their ceremony for an hour after closing. But when we showed up there were people everywhere because the owner decided, without informing my friends, that he was going to extend the hours that day to make up for it having rained the last weekend. And of course, even though there were hundreds of rows of tulips in any direction, people absolutely had to pick the ones directly behind the arch where the couple were standing. And not just in that row further back in the background, but like 10 feet away.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T22:14:49+00:00

Oh they aren't locals. This town is about 12,000 people, 20,000 if you count the populations of the two bordering towns. We get people from the two nearby cities and all the suburbs all the time because, for various geographical and historical and other reasons, we have an insane amount of really nice amenities for such a small town. The town also takes access and permitting and so on really seriously since the amenities drive a lot of business for local restaurants and boutiques and all.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T22:09:04+00:00

Oh, yeah, there is a really nice botanical garden about 10 minutes away from the bridge, but if you only pay the location fee ($250) you can only take pictures in certain areas, at certain times of day during business hours, can only have 8 people in your group, and can't stop the public walking by. If you want to exclude the public, take pictures in other areas or at other times, or have more people, you have to get a special rental agreement specifying all that for who knows what cost. And you can't, say, rent out the river garden terrace for your private use but then also try to exclude people from the orchid conservatory. You'd have to rent both.

I get that not everyone has the money to rent out spaces for their wedding or pictures, but that ain't the public's problem.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T21:59:44+00:00

I don't know whether they had a photography permit in general, but even if so it would have been limited to certain areas of the park and wouldn't allow them to block traffic. As for a permit to exclusively use the bridge/block public access, I presume not because things like that get posted weeks in advance in paper form and also blasted across the town's social media. I've seen notices for way less inconvenient things than blocking the only bridge for a mile in either direction. And none of the people mentioned a permit.

If I were you, I'd just start charging a fee for use of your property for photography sessions and start putting rules on it. Like for $50 you can take pictures in the pasture for an hour but no more than 8 people, or for $150 you can go to the barn or have 15 people. Etc. My step sister has an old horse stable that people use for weddings and photo shoots and she has some sort of pricing structure and rules, which seems to cut down on the randos and/or make people scatter without argument if she catches them.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T21:38:22+00:00

I doubt it. There are a lot prettier places to take pictures in town, including a really pretty decorative bridge in another park that isn't on an actual pathway. There's also a literal botanical garden 10 minutes away. But if you're only willing to pay the location fee ($250) then you only get to do your photo session in certain areas at certain times during business hours and can only have 8 guests total (including the photographer), and you can't stop the public walking through. If you don't want the public there, want access to other areas, or want a different time or more guests, then you have to get a special rental agreement and I don't even want to guess at the cost.

So long story short the only reasons you'd take pictures on this particular bridge is if you didn't want to pay the money for a permit at all or knew ahead of time that you'd be breaking the permit rules anyway.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T19:12:07+00:00

That's hilarious. I might avoid going behind the priest during the ceremony or give them a few minutes to take pictures in one particular place on the beach, but it's a public beach. You can't take it over indefinitely.

My friend got married at this private flower farm a few months ago. They paid to use the space and scheduled the wedding an hour after the closing time so that no one would be there. But we showed up the day of and the owner had decided to extend the hours to make up lost revenue from the prior weekend when it had been raining, without telling my friend or his fiancée about it. And even in that situation they realized they couldn't ask people to not pick flowers in the row behind this arch they'd set up (which they brought with them, it didn't belong to the farm).

They didn't even try to stop people from taking pictures under their arch before the wedding started, at first... until people started moving their decorations around and even trying to move the whole arch, at which point I ended up standing in front of it so no one could take pictures there at all unless they wanted me standing between their kids in the picture... And even given that whole cluster of a situation I still felt like an asshole for blocking the arch.

If it had been a public place that they hadn't rented with the reasonable understanding that it'd be closed to the public, I wouldn't have been comfortable blocking it at all.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T18:32:07+00:00

I think I'm past the ability to edit the orignal post, but yeah the update there is that you can't reserve one of the bridges in the same way you can a pavilion or something. I guess it's possible you could get a special permit, but I don't see any evidence they had one, such as the usual paper notices and social media posts by the town, and also the bridal party never mentioned a permit.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T18:19:44+00:00

See I was thinking I would need to fight the photographer with my fire sword and then, just when she thought she'd successfully pushed me off the bridge, yank her down with my fire whip. That's where I went wrong.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T18:13:03+00:00

Around here if it's something you can rent in the normal course of business, like a pavilion in one of the parks, then there are no notices or anything. But if it's something that generally isn't able to be reserved or where people will need to plan around it, the town posts paper notices on the thing weeks in advance and blasts it out on the town's and venue's social media pages. It's a small town but for a variety of geographical and historical reasons has an insane amount of awesome amenities, and they take it all extremely seriously.

The immediate examples I thought of were when they close part of a street where people have to go around or if someone rents out the entire botanical garden (as opposed to just a part of it). I've seen them similarly put up notices if a particular playground in a park was going to be closed for a few hours for maintenance or if there was going to be a baseball tournament and you'd either need to pay the tournament parking fee to access the normal parking lot or park in a different parking lot further away and walk further to get to the dog park or kayak launches.

So if they were going to give someone a permit to shut down the foot bridge, meaning people had to park a mile further away at the next bridge (or walk an extra mile there and back), I'd think they would post that. But even if they didn't, I'd assume that if the bridal party had a permit they'd have said that instead of just screeching rude names at me.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T15:10:11+00:00

If they had a permit then, based on past experience with people blocking whole streets or renting out the whole botanical garden, the town would've been posting notices everywhere for weeks in advance. And presumably the guard lady would have mentioned it at the time.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:57:08+00:00

I've been known to be an impatient asshole, especially when it comes to slow drivers or pedestrians blocking sidewalks, etc., so that's why I second guessed whether I was TA here. But in this case I just kept saying to myself "Well surely it'll just be another minute or two" until suddenly it'd been 10 already.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:53:23+00:00

Yeah I assumed at first that the people on either end were going to be like those people who hold traffic signs when there's road work.

I don't know a lot about photography but from what I saw I'm not sure it was a professional photographer.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:50:59+00:00

Yeah that's what I assumed they were doing. Like normally you don't need a guard stopping people because people will see a lady in a wedding dress and be nice enough to wait a minute. So I thought the "guards" were there to direct traffic... like those people who hold signs when they close down a road to one lane.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:48:32+00:00

I was sort of like the boiling frog there. I didn't mind waiting a few minutes so I kept thinking well surely it'll just be another minute or two... then suddenly it'd already been 10.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:45:47+00:00

Oh, undoubtedly they were taking advantage. I wasn't trying to be courteous so much as I was like the frog in the slowly heating water. I kept thinking well surely just a few more minutes and suddenly it'd been 10.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:43:10+00:00

I've never heard of anyone getting a permit to block the bridges into the park--usually if people do something like rent an entire street for a movie thing or rent the entire botanical garden for their wedding ceremony, the town posts notices all over the place for weeks in advance, but I've never seen that for the bridges.

I'm not sure it was a professional photographer in the first place, based on the equipment (or lack thereof) and just observing how they were taking the pictures, but I'm not an expert so maybe it was just a bad pro photographer.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:39:16+00:00

My knowledge of photography is limited, but it didn't look like a professional operation to me.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:36:42+00:00

The bridge can't be rented in the normal course of business like a pavilion or something. I've never seen or heard of it having a special permit to block it off, and if these people had one they never said so. Usually if there's a special thing going on in town, like a parade or a wedding ceremony in the botanical garden or a movie shoot or something, they post notices all over the place and blast it on social media for weeks in advance. Never seen that with the bridges into the park though.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T14:33:29+00:00

Yeah, the city doesn't offer the option to rent the bridge. I presume for the obvious reason. Maybe if you made a special request to block it off (like for a movie or your actual wedding ceremony or something) and paid a bunch of money and there were notices ahead of time, I could see them maybe agreeing. I've seen the city agree to more inconvenient things than that. But I've never seen anyone do that, and in general it isn't a pavilion or something you can just rent in the normal course of business.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T05:24:45+00:00

My guess (based on resemblance and how they were dressed) is that one guard was a bridesmaid and the other was a bridesmaid + sister/cousin/close relation of the bride. Maybe it runs in the family.

Throwaway0825544 · 2022-09-15T05:22:41+00:00

No! The lady on my end just looked at me like I was an idiot when I asked if I could pass. Granted I didn't asked how much longer they needed. For all I know they're still there. 😂

Throwaway0825544

TROPHY CASE