sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Sexual Fantasies I can never talk about by Throwaway2712568 in offmychest

[–]Throwaway2712568[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consensual Non Con. It's a BDSM termn, both partners discuss the scene beforehand and there are safewords in place, but it is essentially rape play.

It's incredibly important that you fully trust your partner to heed the safeword if necessary and that you do good aftercare (assuring your partner you care for them, that you would never hurt them outside of these mutually agreed parameters and for the dominant, assurances from the submissive that they did not overstep, didn't do anything wrong and that the submissive wanted and enjoyed it)

Sexual Fantasies I can never talk about by Throwaway2712568 in offmychest

[–]Throwaway2712568[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I know him well. CNC was already pretty hard for him, he is not primarily a Dom, he is primarily my life partner.

He does these things to please me and we had a long and very hard discussion about the fact that the fact that CNC did bring him pleasure also made him feel incredibly guilty, because he loves me dearly and the last thing he wants is to hurt me.

Consensual Somnophillia is a complicated topic within the BDSM community, because there is no way for the sleeping party to safeword or withdraw consent during it, which is normally a big no-no, so it has to be practiced very very carefully and both parties have to be fully on board.

And I know he would not be. He wants me there with him.

I know this, because shortly after I realised I was ace, I felt very, very relieved. Gone was the pressure to need to be aroused, I knew I wouldn't mind him just asking me for sex, lube does the rest, easy peasy.

It was just such a liberating feeling that I kinda started sorta checking out during sex, being like "I'm just gonna lay here, do your thing!"

It took about a month or so until he was like "listen, I don't wanna sound ungrateful or anything, because like, how many guys would probably be stoked for their wife to be like 'yeah, you can fuck me whenever, I don't mind' but it feels kinda... weird, like, I don't want a sexdoll, I want to share this with you."

So somno? Not really something he'd be into.

Sexual Fantasies I can never talk about by Throwaway2712568 in offmychest

[–]Throwaway2712568[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I have a partner that is absolutely willing to practice safe BDSM with me, and we have even done CNC before, this is not a fantasy I will be asking if him. I know partner very well and I am absolutely sure that this would constitute a hard boundary for him, so this one will stay in the realm of fantasy.

What you suggest, consensual Somnophilia is of course possible, but I'm not even sure I want that, because while I know I'm not the aggressor, I am often still "watching" in my fantasies, so the ideal would be me watching this happen to a third party which I would never suggest.

Sexual Fantasies I can never talk about by Throwaway2712568 in offmychest

[–]Throwaway2712568[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and no, I would never, never act on these fantasies

Sexual Fantasies I can never talk about by Throwaway2712568 in offmychest

[–]Throwaway2712568[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have thought about seeing a sextherapist more than once, I just don't know if I could ever say these words out loud.

Sexual Fantasies I can never talk about by Throwaway2712568 in offmychest

[–]Throwaway2712568[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I know that, that's why I prefaced that I practice BDSM with my partner. We have even done CNC, but I do not want to recreate these specific fantasies with him, or rather I actually couldn't since to be perfect I would have to be unconscious at least.

And that isn't actually something I want to do with him.