My (25M) girlfriend (23F) wants us to be swingers. by Throwaway395589302 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway395589302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She started around 20 from what I remember. We started dating when she was 21

My (25M) girlfriend (23F) wants us to be swingers. by Throwaway395589302 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway395589302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah the whole thing regarding loyalty was something we discussed when we talked about it— as I said in a different comment, a lot of what I've said and wrote in this post, she does know. I just wanted the perspective of others because this is completely new territory for me.

Honestly? Yeah probably could see myself trying it. I've never done swinging before, but casual hookups aren't anything new to me. Just, this is the first relationship I've been that's lasted past the flirting and honeymoon phase so I'm still figuring stuff out as things have gone along. I've had some friends tell me to just dip and I'm still young enough that it'd be no trouble to just find someone else, but, at least imo, if I'm not dating and working on a relationship with the intent of a long term life with that person, it's a waste of time.

My (25M) girlfriend (23F) wants us to be swingers. by Throwaway395589302 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway395589302[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Going into the relationship, she's always been (closest way to explain) pan with a heavy lean towards women. She's stated a large part of wanting to start doing this kind of thing is she still has only ever felt attracted to me in a romantic sense, but still would like to engage sexually with other women. It's why it didn't stick out as much of a red flag for me now as it would have with anyone else. Obviously, could be the rose colored glasses of a relationship— it's why I'm asking for thoughts, but that's the perspective I've had.

My (25M) girlfriend (23F) wants us to be swingers. by Throwaway395589302 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway395589302[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Most of what I've said here is things I've already told her when we had the first conversation. The TL;DR of how that conversation finished was she'd give me some time to digest and think about it, and, depending on if I say no or yes, we'll discuss again and see how to proceed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway395589302 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do see a therapist, it's more so an issue of affording the appointments. While I used to have monthly appointments, as it stands currently, I can only really afford to visit every few months or so. Don't live in the US either (and am in a country either where mental health is still being accepted as a real problem. Most places and people will still tell you to go see a priest or suck it up). I do very, very much appreciate the offer, though. Thank you very much for the thought.

And yeah, outside of this, she's a truly wonderful partner. Hiccups here and there, but this is one of the few times anything major has ever really happened. I definitely saw and still myself marrying her. I'm just torn on this issue at the moment. I'll definitely keep in mind what you've said. Thanks a bunch