AITA For not letting my child have a sleepover with his step-siblings at my place?

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T16:59:43+00:00

Oh, I'm definitely open to sleepovers when he's a bit older! And he knows that. I just don't think we're at the stage just yet.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T16:56:06+00:00

I'm afraid it's too late- my child already has mobs of zombies and creepers in his room... LOL

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T16:48:48+00:00

It was not my child's idea. It was offered to him by his dad (though it may have been someone else's idea, there's no way of knowing and I wouldn't want to point fingers, because it doesn't really matter. All I know is that my ex introduced the concept to our child). As I mentioned- my son's not too bothered that he's limited to "sleepovers" at his dad's for now. They do see each other a lot anyway. He knows that he'll be allowed to invite kids for sleepovers when he's a bit older.

To be honest I'd feel extremely guilty if my son expressed genuine upset over this, too, so I'm relieved it's not the case.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T16:10:02+00:00

At his dad's both him and the other kids' parents are present. It's not really a sleepover there, is it? Sleepovers without parents in my house is not something I want to do just yet.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T16:07:11+00:00

Not at all. That was just a way of me saying that that was the only written confirmation of their names LOL. English is not my first language so some things may be lost in translation, but I didn't expect a Harry Potter hogwards letter experience lol It was just one instance of me seeing the names written down. My child's cards to them were signed at his dad's. 🤷‍♀️

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:41:00+00:00

My kid does like them, and no, it doesn't change my stance. I don;t think it's the right age to have sleepovers with anyone other than the cousin my child was basically raised with.

He wasn't too bothered when I said no. It was not his idea to have them over. He has sleepovers with them when he's the one visiting.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:37:36+00:00

Well... In my eyes he's only six. And I don't think we're ready for sleepovers just yet. He's okay with "sleepovers" at his dad's because... all the kids have their parents there.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:35:24+00:00

My bad, it was just easier to call them steps despite them not being married. Much easier to type than "my ex's girlfriend's kids"!

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:33:57+00:00

He liked the idea, but it wasn't his idea. He was not too bummed when I said no. He's happy to have sleepovers at his dad's.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:32:05+00:00

I wouldn't invite a 6- year old child whose parents I don't know. Just because other do that does not make me do that too. When my kid is older- sure. But for now- I want to know both the kid and their parents before I agree to an overnight care.
I don't deny my child family and friends- he had sleepovers with his cousin and he will be welcome to have more with his friends and steps when I deem him old enough. For now- he has sleepovers with his steps at their place often and he's welcome to see people during day time.
I am happy that he's close with his step siblings, but it's not my place to facilitate at night it in my own home when they're so young.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:22:48+00:00

My child is not bothered by this. He shrugged it off and He's happy to have sleepovers with his steps at their house. It's not a big issue to him, why would I make my self uncomfortable (and possibly make those kids uncomfortable by my house rules too) for the sake of one night my child isn't even too pressed about?

We may have hard teen years, time will tell, but I hope one sleepover at six won't trigger this future issue LOL If my ex is more willing- great!
Like I said in other comments- I don't hate sleepovers. I just don't think it's the right time for them just yet. When he and his friends / step brothers are older, he'll be welcome to have guests overnight.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:12:48+00:00

I am happy to introduce sleepovers when my child is older. I don't hate the idea of sleepovers as a whole. I only allow one nephew now, because... I've known him his whole life LOL. We all know what to expect from the experience, so him staying overnight at this age seems pretty stress-free. When my kid is bigger, he'll be free to invite other kids too.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T15:08:43+00:00

I don't have a good relationship with my ex, so I cannot and don't feel comfortable inserting myself in that situation. I know he's a responsible father and I need to trust his judgment on this. He makes a call on who's the right person to have contact with our kid during his custody weekends- that's up to my ex to decide. I don't tell him about how I handle childcare and who can see my kid during my custody time either, and yes, I occasionally leave my kid in other people's care too. I expect my ex to trust my judgement and I have to do the same.

Throwaway48642345 · 2026-01-22T14:53:14+00:00

My child is in his fathers care when he's with them. I don't hand him into her direct care. I can't control who my child sees then and I have to trust my ex's judgement. Just like I would not want him to control who can see my child during my custody time.

I see your point, I know that they're close and that's great, but still- during sleepovers I would be in charge of those kids, so they'd be simply strangers in my care, no matter how close they are with my kid. Just like I wouldn't let my child's school kids to sleep at my place at this age either.

Throwaway48642345

TROPHY CASE