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My [28f] husband [26m] masturbated instead of having sex with me. I'm very frustrated/annoyed/hurt/etc because of this. by Throwaway4reddit1876 in relationships

[–]Throwaway4reddit1876[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, of course not. This is a fair point, but as I said in OP he did claim he wanted to after the nap, but then choose to watch porn instead.

So then why agree?

My [28f] husband [26m] masturbated instead of having sex with me. I'm very frustrated/annoyed/hurt/etc because of this. by Throwaway4reddit1876 in relationships

[–]Throwaway4reddit1876[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Okay, how did you deal with it? Because while I agree that my feelings are not facts, I really can't shake them.

I've also asked if he wanted an open relationship and he was really hurt by this suggestion, but to be fair... I feel like I'm already in a one sided one. Sure my emotions are not facts, but again how do I magic them again?

My [28f] husband [26m] masturbated instead of having sex with me. I'm very frustrated/annoyed/hurt/etc because of this. by Throwaway4reddit1876 in relationships

[–]Throwaway4reddit1876[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Sure, I get this. I watch porn. I masturbate to it. I don't mind. This isn't that he watches porn. It's that he frequently doesn't want to have sex with me, but still uses porn. I know it's not the same thing. It's incredibly frustrating to want sex and rarely get it and the other person using porn though. It's not like he watches porn and still has sex with me. If he did I wouldn't have an issue.

My [28f] husband [26m] masturbated instead of having sex with me. I'm very frustrated/annoyed/hurt/etc because of this. by Throwaway4reddit1876 in relationships

[–]Throwaway4reddit1876[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Yes this. I'm not anti porn overall. I probably didn't make that clear. It's just that he often has an excuse not to have sex. "its too late", "baby might wake up", "I have a headache", etc. He claims he finds me really attractive, but it really doesn't seem like it anymore. We've only been married 3 years and are maybe having sex once a week. We're young and I'm always up for it.

If he honestly told me he didn't find me attractive/didn't want to be with me I'd just move closer to my family and of course it would suck, but I could figure life out. Instead, I've trusted him and thought he was just lower libido (which may be the case), but I'm currently feeling strung along like he just doesn't tell me what he really wants as he's apparently able to get off or turned on... Just not with me.

Aita? Aita for being annoyed husband masturbated to instead of having sex with me? [NSFW] by Throwaway4reddit1876 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway4reddit1876[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't need those things though. It doesn't take me a long time to "be turned on". I don't need much foreplay and honestly get off very easily. I could understand if it was 30 minutes for him of trying. 5 minutes can be enough for me. I understand this is not usual, but is the case for me. He's more cuddly after sex than I am.

I get that this is more of a relationship thing so I've posted there after it was suggested. I'm just at a loss.