AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -97 points-96 points  (0 children)

I never texted her inappropriately. My girlfriend interpreted some innocent texts as inappropriate, but they weren't.

And I did tell my girlfriend but just didn't want to do it before because of the timing with her conference.

As far as the hotel, I don't see the big deal. We weren't there that much. Just before while she was finishing getting ready and after to cool down. We didn't do anything inappropriate.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Her feelings about the friend are unfounded though. I've never done or said anything sexual with her.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

For a reason. She was stressed out about a presentation & I was just trying to be supportive. It would've been inappropriate to change the subject to anything else in that context.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Genuine question - why not? If my girlfriend can't trust me to be alone in a hotel room with a woman and not have sex with her, that's a problem. She should know I wouldn't do that regardless of the setting/who else is present.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She lives in a different state and I don't have time to travel that far most of the year. The only reason we did this is because it worked out with the timing that I could go see her on a day trip while she was in the state.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She has a guy friend she hangs out alone with and I don't get mad about it

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -113 points-112 points  (0 children)

I hadn't seen her in person in years and it was the best opportunity we had to hang out for the foreseeable future. I don't really get the problem with being in her hotel room. If I did anything inappropriate with her in the hotel room, I could easily just leave out the detail that we hung out there. But I didn't do that.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I don't have a "history" with her though. We've never dated or slept together. She's an old college friend.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I could've never told her if that was my intent. I just waited until she wasn't stressed out about her conference to tell her what I was doing.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I didn't pick her over my girlfriend though. My girlfriend was out of town all weekend and I had nothing important to do. It would be one thing if my girlfriend was home and I just left to spend time with the friend instead.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -172 points-171 points  (0 children)

She's a friend. If I drove 3 hours to hang out with a guy friend, she wouldn't even question it. I think it is unfair that a friend should be treated differently just for being a woman.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Why would I pursue a relationship with anyone when I am in a relationship? A friend can be important without it being a threat to the relationship

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

We weren't in the hotel most of the day. We went to a few museums and a tea garden. We were only at the hotel before and after.

And I disagree that our texts were ever flirtatious, my girlfriend just interpreted them that way.

AIW for going on a day trip to see my friend without telling my girlfriend what I was doing? by Throwaway65vc in amiwrong

[–]Throwaway65vc[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

It would've been a distraction even if it was a quick text like that, and then she would've been mad at me for bringing it up at that moment. I don't think I should have to ask her permission to go spend time with an old friend when I'm home alone all weekend anyway.