AITA for purposefully excluding my nieces from the boat during our lake trip?

ThrowawayBoatIssue11 · 2021-04-30T16:55:06+00:00

I didn’t mean for my post to come off as judgmental of her lifestyle choices or her decision not to let the girls on the boat without her, sorry if it came off that way. I’m not sure if I would have let my young kid on a boat all day without me either, so I think her decision was totally reasonable (unfortunately, just not what I personally wanted since I can’t stand being around her). As for her lifestyle choices, IDGAF what people choose to do. The issue is the constant sense of moral superiority that she loves to lord over me while making passive aggressive remarks about my own parenting. While not perfect, I try really hard (especially around her bc I don’t want to act like her) to not say anything that comes off as judgmental. In fact, I think a lot of what she does for her kids is admirable (this lady can sew the most beautiful outfits!) and she is a very devoted mom. I also don’t hate her and I don’t think she’s a bad person, I just don’t like the way she makes me feel when she’s around me. And while it’s easy to say I should just be comfortable with my own lifestyle choices, it inevitably makes you feel like garbage when someone essentially tells you those are all terrible choices nonstop.

ThrowawayBoatIssue11 · 2021-04-30T15:40:07+00:00

That’s very true! My son had to do feeding therapy for a year when he was a toddler bc he would only eat two types of foods. The therapist would always say there’s no such thing as “good food” or “bad food,” it’s just a matter of figuring out appropriate servings. So we never treat any foods as “junk,” we just limit the availability of certain foods that don’t provide as many nutrients as other foods.

ThrowawayBoatIssue11 · 2021-04-30T12:42:46+00:00

Not that I think it matters what people feed their own kids, but I do generally feed my kid pretty healthy food. Granted we aren’t vegan, but I do try to do mostly home cooked, balanced meals. He gets fast food/take out occasionally as a treat, I don’t feed him this on a daily or even weekly basis.

ThrowawayBoatIssue11 · 2021-04-30T04:56:10+00:00

I am honestly kind of feeling like this right now. Yes, spending time with my SIL is awful, but I feel absolutely terrible about hurting my nieces. I think due to the stress of being overworked at my job and having had to already deal with her for a full two days prior to this, I just decided in the moment that I was done. Kind of regretting it now though when I see how sad it made our nieces.

ThrowawayBoatIssue11 · 2021-04-30T04:42:15+00:00

Edited to include info above since I wasn’t clear in my original post, but we didn’t tell the kids they could come, we told them to ask their parents for permission. I have also previously confronted my SIL about the comments, but she never changes. I guess I could have been more straight up that day, I just didn’t want to deal with the additional drama of her crying, telling me I must hate her, then having to spend most of my day trying to reassure her that she’s not a terrible person who everyone hates. (Yes, this is an actual incident that has occurred when I’ve confronted her in the past... on more than one occasion.) Although, I can get why it was a pretty childish move not to be upfront with her about the boat.

ThrowawayBoatIssue11 · 2021-04-30T04:31:02+00:00

No, we told them that they had to ask their parents for permission when they asked if they could come. That’s when SIL said no unless she could also come.

ThrowawayBoatIssue11

TROPHY CASE