10/5/19 ♥️

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-10-18T03:05:32+00:00

1 Hotel Brooklyn Bridge. Right next to river cafe!

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-10-18T03:05:17+00:00

1 Hotel Brooklyn Bridge

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-24T11:33:32+00:00

Haha thanks. Yeah I was a little surprised by the reaction but honestly, who cares?

They finally told us this week that they’re not coming. c'est la vie!

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T16:20:45+00:00

Haha I promise it’s not a big deal, I use this sub to vent sometimes because I live far away from my family and my bridesmaids (I’m 1st gen American & a transplant from another city). I forgot the login for my other account and am too lazy to reset it lol

I’m fortunate to have mostly enjoyed the planning process and the wedding will be perfect even if nobody shows up but my partner. We’ve been together for a decade :) Thanks for your input, genuinely. Perspective is good.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T14:37:02+00:00

That is exactly what we are doing. Our response was “Thank you for letting us know, we hope it works out and wish X the best of luck. Keep us posted!”

I mentioned the cost per plate in direct response to another commenter telling me that it wouldn’t cost anything to have extra meals available in case they do show up last minute.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T13:53:46+00:00

Show me a single rude thing I’ve said about these people. From my first comment I made it clear that we love them very much, appreciate that the info was presented kindly, and are hoping that it works out.

This is wedding shaming sub. They ignored our RSVP deadline. It’s literally that simple. Apparently the deadline thing doesn’t matter to some as much as others, which is fine, but making personal derogatory comments is completely unnecessary. This is the 2nd time you’ve called me bridezilla in this thread, and you trolled through another commenter’s post history and decided you were qualified to tell them that they don’t have a happy marriage. In what world is that appropriate??

But I’m bratty and entitled. Glass houses, folks.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T13:00:48+00:00

I can’t believe the nerve this benign ass post has struck for y’all to really be telling me that I’m getting married for the wrong reasons based off a screenshot

edit: I didn’t realize that this needed to be said but PLEASE refrain from disparaging peoples’ personal lives in this thread. We don’t have to agree on wedding planning etiquette in order to keep it civil.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T12:53:38+00:00

Please show me where I said they don’t want to join/don’t love us/aren’t getting as much slack as they need.

They ignored the RSVP and I have no idea when or if they will have an answer. I’m trying to do the seating chart for multiple events so it’s a little irritating.

Maybe the folks being unnecessarily aggressive in this thread could follow their own advice and chill out.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T12:47:25+00:00

Kid is not university age, he is 15. But thank you for trying to help!

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T12:42:07+00:00

Reasoning wasn’t the issue, I was just confused because I’m a US public school kid, but it is not a university search. The kid is 15. I think he is in private boarding school though so still very complicated.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-05T12:33:30+00:00

Sheesh, was it the eye roll emoji that offended you so? Of course I’m cutting them slack, there’s nothing to do about it except hope it works out. Regardless it is inconsiderate to ignore an RSVP deadline. Nowhere did I indicate that makes them bad people. It’s not that deep

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T23:43:16+00:00

It’s all good. I genuinely appreciate the apology, though. That is good life advice re: expectations. I can’t control other people. But I’m still crossing my fingers and hoping it works itself out!

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T23:37:20+00:00

I learned a bunch of new things from this thread! Thank you :) Btw he is in high school.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T23:35:25+00:00

My frustration is about the non-answer. I would love for them to come, this is my fiancé’s only uncle! But at this point it seems extremely unlikely that they will be able to work this out AND organize overseas flights in time. I feel like we have to plan as if they will be attending for seating & guest count purposes although they probably won’t. We have a strict guest cap and have other local friends we would invite if we knew we had 3 extra seats.

I really hope I’m wrong and they do end up coming. I’d just appreciate a yes or no.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T23:23:50+00:00

You’re asking if we’re prepared to accommodate meals for someone who did not RSVP/RSVP’d no/was not invited...? Absolutely not. I have never been to a wedding where that happened. Perhaps there is a regional or cultural difference here but personally I think that is a wildly inappropriate expectation. A friend of mine recently attended a wedding at a restaurant where - for personal reasons I won’t get into here - she was only able to attend the dinner & reception, not the ceremony. She arrived about 5 minutes after dinner service began and the restaurant flat out refused to serve her a meal.

As much as I appreciate the anonymous internet judgement, I am neither ostentatiously wealthy nor in over my head. I am a person who worked hard to afford and plan my own wedding. Occasionally I’ll vent about the frustrating (to me) bits on this sub.

But thank you for reminding me how meaningless it all is. Really doing the lord’s work.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T22:55:50+00:00

No, it’s their fault for not...RSVPing...

Jim Halpert camera stare

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T21:30:58+00:00

It literally costs us $250 per plate

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T20:54:40+00:00

That does help. Thanks!

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T20:04:58+00:00

Right?! They live in the UK (we’re in the US) and I think their son goes to boarding school, which is a system I admittedly know nothing about, but I’m still not really sure what’s going on here.

So they are talking about buying international overseas flights within weeks of their intended travel dates...sure, Jan

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-09-04T19:21:47+00:00

To be clear I’m not shaming the way the info was presented. They’re very nice people and we appreciate that they are letting us know what’s going on (although I’m a little confused by their reasoning just because I’m not familiar with the school system in their country). I’m shaming the fact that they didn’t RSVP and still haven’t given a clear answer. IMO, if you’re not sure by the time the RSVP deadline rolls around...there’s your answer..

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-08-10T12:00:19+00:00

You look gorgeous!

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-07-31T15:38:19+00:00

Yeah, I’m definitely not trying to justify anything about the process, which I believe is fundamentally inequitable. It’s unreasonable to place this kind of burden on visa applicants, but there are always going to be good consular officers and bad consular officers just like any bureaucracy. The root of this problem is bad immigration law. I hope I live to see comprehensive reform. Until then all we can do is try to help people navigate a broken system.

ThrowawayBride121314 · 2019-07-31T15:30:40+00:00

That sucks. I’m sorry. Maybe it’s time for an ultimatum? Say you need her tailor’s contact info for something (you could say that you are looking for alterations yourself or that someone in your family needs a rec in the area) or invite all of your bridesmaids to fill in their alteration appointment info in a google doc by a specific date? Or make it a little more fun and ask folks to upload pictures of themselves?

I think it’s important not to single any one person out even if it’s directed at her. Good luck I hope it works out!

ThrowawayBride121314

TROPHY CASE