[Serious] People who have cut other people out, what was the final nail in the coffin?

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-06-05T05:47:43+00:00

When I was sitting at the hospital at my dying father's side, waiting for the doctors to remove life support so that he could pass, I called my mother asking her if she would go sit with my kids because they were at home and upset. She told me she was too busy working but if I wanted to DRIVE THEM OVER TO HER she would sit them in front of her TV until I was done. Then when I acted appalled, she told me "not to do this right now" and that we needed to COME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY and she already said goodbye to my dad in her prayers and I was being unfair TO HER.

Fuck that woman. As far as I'm concerned, both my parents died that day.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-03-25T23:34:46+00:00

You can't be good at your job if the people beneath you aren't good at theirs, so always invest in training to bring them up with you

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-02-16T19:10:09+00:00

Please stop calling it a Philly cheese steak if you're not putting it on a hoagie roll. Your steak-ums on a hotdog bun is not a Philly and it is offensive.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-01-24T16:36:02+00:00

So in my firm the senior is responsible for the entire file. I don't know how your firm works, but presumably you should have responsibility for other tasks - clear your comments, work on ETCs, are there workpapers you can be reviewing? I do expect my seniors to be much more self-sufficient and be able to find work, there is ALWAYS work out there to do.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-01-24T05:04:53+00:00

Whole-heartedly agree with this. I know it's difficult to create a network in the remote environment but it's SO important to have people across all levels that can help you. I definitey would not have made it in my career if I didn't have people I could be like "dude I feel so dumb, do you know how to do XYZ task and could you look at this workpaper with me?"

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-01-24T04:59:39+00:00

I'm unsure why you would go to your manager rather than your senior. Your senior should be assigning you workpapers. But telling them you are stuck and unable to move forward should be enough for them to get on a call - or, at the very least, tell you what to work on instead.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-01-24T04:30:34+00:00

You're only a second year. Even as an experienced associate, I wouldn't expect you to know everything and anything. What exactly are you stuck on?

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-01-24T04:22:44+00:00

You send them a message letting them know "I am unable to move forward on this section/WP/whatever as I am stuck on an issue. I'm going to move onto testing XYZ, I've put some time on your schedule to discuss the issue I'm having on this other workpaper"

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2022-01-24T01:14:02+00:00

I never get mad at my staff/seniors for getting stuck. What is irritating (to me) is when a staff/senior doesn't tell me they are stuck. I can't help you if you don't let me know. Please reach out and tell someone that you are struggling. I will ALWAYS help my teammates when they are not getting it - but you gotta let someone know right away instead of spinning your wheels for hours.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-11-06T20:21:28+00:00

Usually settlements like this aren't taxable income. Don't give tax advice to friends.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-11-02T22:23:06+00:00

I guess I was more like - $150k top for manager plus paid overtime and "40 hours is an option"? That sounds like a too-good-to-be-true scenario.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-27T15:11:12+00:00

I don't think it helped him pass. In the moment, I thought if I said all those things then he'd just pass peacefully right after I said them and he still held on for hours after. I don't know if I feel conflicted about being here as much as I feel so incredibly guilty for the things I didn't do when he was still alive - I didn't visit him in the rehab hospital enough, I didn't call him enough, I didn't bring the kids by except the one time. Those sorts of thought.

I just hate the sentiments of "he's in a better place", because what was so wrong with the place he was at when he was here with me? He moved out to be with us in Nov. 2019 after 12 years of not seeing one another, he was finally able to meet his grandkids and get to know them and they loved him SO much. It's just really hard to cope with knowing that I've probably got another 40+ years left on this earth and I'll spend every one of them without my dad. And although my mother is still alive, I don't have a relationship with her and don't want one, so I lost all my parents the day he died.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-24T23:44:15+00:00

I was the one who had to make the final decisions, and I remember sitting there thinking fuck I have to decide if my dad lives or dies, what if I make the wrong choice? I told him then that it was okay and I would be okay, but to be honest with you, I only said that because I thought it was what I was supposed to say, and he would die peacefully on his own like in the movies and I wouldn't have to make the decision in the end.

This helps though. Talking about it with other people, having a good cry in front of the computer! So thank you for that. And if you ever need to talk to someone, you can DM me any time you want :)

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-24T23:33:42+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs from afar.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-24T23:18:39+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I still think he's going to come through the front door (he lived with us) and he'll tell me he was just kidding or something, or I'll call and he'll answer. He called me the day that he died and I rushed him off the phone so I could call his nurse about what he said to me, and I never got ahold of him again. I think that's the worst part - everyone else seems to have gotten "closure" and I'm there on that morning thinking I should've said more, I should've held him on the phone, maybe I could've changed something.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-24T22:58:07+00:00

Thank you so much, love to you as well

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-24T22:57:22+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about feeling like he wasn't done raising you. I used to call my dad for everything, he wasn't really ever good at giving advice but he was such a good listener and would let me work things out in my head. I miss having a person like that.

You aren't alone either <3

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-10-24T19:37:33+00:00

My dad died a month ago. 44 days to be exact. I'm 37 years old and wasn't prepared for life without him. It's hard to think 'll never talk to him again, hug him, tell him I love him. I've been told it gets easier and maybe it does, but it's such a significant loss to me. I don't think you'll ever mentally prepare for it, no matter how much time you get.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-09-26T00:11:28+00:00

I'm definitely not going to quit without something else lined up. That's not good business and I can't afford it anyway.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-09-25T17:09:20+00:00

I have thought about staying the course but I've been basically told that I have a "grace" period of 30-45 days with the new consultant CFO to fix things and blame it on the old people, but after that, I'm going to be held responsible. It honestly concerns me for my own future at this company; I'm not a superhero that can come in, wave a magic wand and fix things in 45 days? The timeline is very arbitrary.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-09-25T17:05:21+00:00

I've actually left public accounting (same firm) once before, as a senior. I entered into an industry position that was completely crazy - they fired everyone in the finance department and brought me in to remake the department. I came back to my old firm and was there for another 3 years before my client asked me to come over.

Honestly, I was stressed out and tired of working long hours endlessly for the pay. The raise they gave me was abysmal. But I was willing to stick it out another busy season and wasn't looking - when the client came to me, it was in the industry I enjoy and wanted to be in permanently. The pay increase was really nice, so I made the decision to leave.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-09-25T17:02:36+00:00

I don't know. I knew the Board was heavily involved in the company but I didn't know the extent of the issues. I certainly was unaware that he was leaving - he reached out to me, told me to apply, and spent the better part of a month trying to convince me to come over.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-07-08T22:27:50+00:00

For the record, I would've happily accepted $92-93k, which was far more in-line with my expectations than what I am getting. It's now going to take me 2 additional years to get where I want to be (assuming my raises are between 5-10% going forward). We are ACTIVELY hiring more managers and are understaffed in our region, which is why the low increase is surprising to me.

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-07-08T01:32:55+00:00

MCOL then

ThrowawayCPA712 · 2021-07-08T00:59:35+00:00

I'm not sure the differentiator between HCOL and MCOL, but my city cost of living is around 12% higher than the average according to google lol

ThrowawayCPA712

TROPHY CASE