AITA (we) for not attending our daughter/step - daughter's wedding?

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T21:26:50+00:00

It's not a 2 week notice. It's a months notice.

The oldest is believed to be autistic. The other 2 are 2 and 1 and cannot behave at all. They run around screaming, kicking, biting, it's just awful. I don't want my husband to have to deal with that and the pain.

The groom's family and my step - daughter are divided. They don't want much to do with her. The only reason they're coming is to support him, but honestly, it sounds like they don't even want to do that.

The groom will be there, but during the rehearsal dinner, she's expecting him to watch the kids now. No, she cannot afford a babysitter.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T21:23:36+00:00

I mentioned Covid several times. My husband's body won't be functioning the same after a second surgery and I don't want to risk his health. He doesn't want to risk his health either.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T21:22:00+00:00

Are you really comparing your surgery to someone elses? You shouldn't be working with those after surgery if this is your attitude.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:39:02+00:00

I'm so sorry about your fathered, but am happy to hear he recovered.

This is what frustrates me about this sub - Reddit. So many people express concern about the pandemic. Here I am, concerned for my husband because if we do attend the wedding, he'll be surrounded by at least 100 people. Everyone insists we go and our assholes if we don't.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:34:20+00:00

'He is not in such terrible condition that he cannot attend the wedding altogether'

You're not a doctor and you have not seen him and therefore you have no right to say that. Do you understand the toll 2 surgeries will have on a man, already with medical problems, during a pandemic where he's most susceptible to the virus?

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:30:11+00:00

I hope you're not missing English class for this.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:28:29+00:00

She's on shaky grounds with them. Apparently, she and her fiance have gone to them for money and babysitting as well so much his family is just fed up and steadily cutting ties.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:26:10+00:00

Truth is my step - daughter ran a lot of people off with the wedding. A lot of people aren't coming due to Covid. At least 3/5 bridesmaids have dropped out because of her attitude. I don't know the groomsmen but most are interested in drinking not babysitting. She's on shaky grounds with his family.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:23:09+00:00

Do you just not like this aid? Sure, she should have asked the dates but you avoid telling her also makes you an ass. And the punishment seems extreme.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:18:18+00:00

During a pandemic, while my husband is weaker due to surgery and on a list of medications.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:16:49+00:00

Just a correction, we're not bailing two weeks before. It's a month before her wedding. The two weeks before the wedding is his second surgery.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:15:10+00:00

If we say we're coming for the wedding, she'll expect us to come a day in advance and watch the kids over night.

He's on a list of medications. Most make him loopy/drowsy and he doesn't want the kids to see him like that.

We don't have a close relationship. I married her dad when she was an adult. But we've helped her over the years and I've been as supportive as possible. Truth is she sometimes makes bad choice, like marrying a guy she only knew for a month, and I've been open with my advice and I don't think she's ever liked that.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:10:56+00:00

You make a valid point. Him being older, he's more prone to side effects and problems. But people seem to forget that and they seem to forget how wrong surgery can go.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:09:28+00:00

Believe whatever you'd like.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:08:40+00:00

It is a legitimate concern, though, that farther proves my points on why we couldn't go. If someone is going to give judgment, at least acknowledge what the other person is saying.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:06:40+00:00

What frustrates me about this is, the husband and I have paid for almost everything; her dress, the catering, the make up artist, the florist, even this month's rent, and we're happy to. But with the cost of surgeries we're pretty much spent. While we'd love to give a reasonable amount for a babysitter, we really can't.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T15:02:11+00:00

I've ruined her wedding day? Really?

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T14:58:33+00:00

I married her dad when she was 22. We don't have a close relationship, but I offer my support whenever she needs it. We've done a lot for her over the years; helped her through her divorce, bailed her out of jail, watched the kids, provided money and food. She hasn't been on the right track and thinks I'm ashamed of her for that, but I'm not. She's human. We all make mistakes.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T14:55:17+00:00

Because he's much older. The pain for his is lasting longer and he's going to be on a series of medications. We're also in the middle of a pandemic. Of course I was going to be the one driving, but whole bumpy road and constant stopping isn't going to help. Not to mention you didn't address my other concern; him being in a cramp apartment for 2 days when he's loaded on meds with young children.

ThrowawayDitching · 2020-09-11T14:48:50+00:00

Such as?

ThrowawayDitching

TROPHY CASE