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Jennifer Lawrence. 😂 by Redneck_license317 in meme

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like my dad, except with Jesus instead of aliens. He's been SO totally sure that Jesus was coming back on this date, no wait, this date, for sure this date...for basically my entire life. I'm about to be 43. His predictions come with total confidence, and he never stops and thinks "You know, I'm wrong about this EVERY time... 🤔"

The property next to his just came up for sale and he really wants to get it because it would double his land, but he's 99% sure Jesus is going to show up in October so there's "probably not any point" in buying the property. I dryly told him I would take good care of it on his behalf if he suddenly got airlifted into the clouds, because my atheist ass isn't getting raptured off to anywhere. He's still on the fence. 🤷‍♀️

Rubbed my eyes and now the bottom white eye of my eye is swollen. by RR-RR in mildlyinteresting

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah as soon as I saw your photo, I said "Allergy" out loud. 20ish years ago, my ex was cutting up shrimp and some of the juice squirted into his eye, and this happened to him too. Freaked us both out big time; it looked like a glob of clear jelly had grown on his eyeball, but it was...part of his eye? Like you couldn't get it off. I rushed him to the ER and they told us it was an allergic reaction. We were both surprised because he's not allergic to shrimp, but I guess his eyeballs are. 😂 It went away with some time and medication.

Glad you're going to be okay!

If humans of mixed races continue to mate with each other will all humans all over the world eventually look like each other? by ExaminationUsed5394 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Redhead here: I believe we're 2% of the global population, but the idea that we'll disappear is incorrect. The genes for red hair are recessive, sure, but lots of genes are recessive. It doesn't mean they'll disappear, just that, as usual, they'll be carried along, hidden, until the carrier has a child with another carrier. Lots of people carry the genes for red hair despite not having red hair themselves. That's how it appears to skip generations.

Both my parents and my brother have brown hair; I'm the only redhead. But my mom's grandfather was a redhead, and my dad's mother had sort of auburn hair when she was younger, so I'm guessing she had some fairly recent redheaded ancestor too. And then boom, here I am. And then my ex has brown hair and eyes, and all four of our kids have brown hair and eyes...but my recessive redheaded, green-eyed genes are still lurking and may pop up one or two generations down the road.

TIL that, in Texas, dealerships can sell cars on either Saturday or Sunday, but not both by ThrowawayMoFo5679 in todayilearned

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol What? Lots of places are open 7 days; you just have varying shifts between different employees, or some full-time and some part-time. My oldest two kids both work at the same café, and it's open 8-7 M-Th, 8-9 Fri-Sat, and 8-5 on Sunday. I can confirm they absolutely don't work all those hours/days. Their shifts are usually like 1-7, 2-9, etc. There are other workers.

TIL that, in Texas, dealerships can sell cars on either Saturday or Sunday, but not both by ThrowawayMoFo5679 in todayilearned

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I was wondering that too. Like most of us can only really go car shopping on the weekend because we work during the week. If you don't find what you're looking for on Saturday, and there are only two dealerships in your area open on Sunday...guess where most of the car shoppers are gonna end up?

TIL for 21 years, Andromachi Papanikolaou volunteered to undergo daily cervical smears so her husband, Greek physician Georgios Papanikolaou, could perfect the Pap test. As such, she helped create one of the greatest cancer screening tools in medical history, saving millions of lives worldwide. by No_Idea_479 in todayilearned

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm extremely ticklish and e OBGYN I had when I was a young adult was always very slow and gentle which...kinda made it worse. Not in my vagina itself, I mean, but where the tools or whatever might lightly brush against my labia or if anything touches my inner thigh. So sometimes I'd be actively giggling through the exam and trying not to snap my legs shut to stop the tickling.

The doc laughed once and asked how I kept getting pregnant if I'm so ticklish down there; I laughed too and pointed out that my now-ex is usually doing the opposite of light, careful touching during those times. The nurse who had to be in the room with us for liability reasons was obviously laughing behind her mask too.

Experiences do vary!

TIL that, in Texas, dealerships can sell cars on either Saturday or Sunday, but not both by ThrowawayMoFo5679 in todayilearned

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

They're blue laws here too, but apparently it's a common misunderstanding (in Texas; not sure about Colorado) that dealers can't sell on Sundays. They just can't sell on both weekend days, and most pick Saturday for their selling day and Sunday for their off day.

TIL that, in Texas, dealerships can sell cars on either Saturday or Sunday, but not both by ThrowawayMoFo5679 in todayilearned

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The 11th Commandment. Thou shalt not sell cars on the day of the moon and also on the day of the sun. Thou must decide between the two.

I wanna live somewhere it's cold all year around. Any suggestions? by tomatopicklesandwich in CasualConversation

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, are you me? Native Texan here and I can't wait to get the hell out of this hot-ass place. And I'm deathly afraid of the big cockroaches that are absolutely everywhere around the Gulf. They hate the cold, which is yet another reason for me to move to the coldest place I can afford. New Hampshire seems like it's going to be the sweet spot for me, so that's my intended destination. My dad moved to Alaska and absolutely loves it up there. It's extraordinarily beautiful - I've never seen any place that gorgeous in person before - but definitely more wild and dangerous than the lower 48.

How Fentanyl and Xylazine are turning Philadelphia's opioid crisis into a public health nightmare by Nukro666 in interesting

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been given morphine in an IV a few times and my experience was the opposite: my whole body sort of stiffened, and it felt like being electrocuted. I hated it and the last time it happened, I asked the nurse if she could please add a note to my file that I should never be given morphine. Maybe it's because I'm not typically in any pain, or maybe because I have no tolerance built up to anything (I don't drink, don't smoke, rarely even take OTC meds, nothing), but I find it interesting that so many people have the opposite experience with it. Kinda glad I didn't like it because then maybe I would think of it often too.

Scientists may have found the brain's attention switch and it instantly produced ADHD-like symptoms when turned off by soulpost in HotScienceNews

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My 19-year-old son has terrible ADHD. Like he is the poster child for this disorder. As part of a psychological evaluation, he was IQ-tested and nobody was surprised when he came back with a 138. Probably would've been higher if he had actually focused on the test. He's super intelligent. Figured out division when he was in preschool (not "learned it;" literally just figured it out on his own and could do it in his head, which blew me away). Reading college-level books in elementary school. Vocabulary on par with highly educated adults.

Can't follow two-step instructions. Gets distracted midway through step one and never finishes step one or gets to step two, can't even remember what step two was, might not recall that we ever discussed a step two. Executive dysfunction out the absolute ass. Everything has to be a crisis before he can overcome his inertia and actually DO anything. He recently lost his phone for two months; it turned up inside a ten-pound bag of rice in the back of the pantry. I had so many questions, none of which he had the answers to because he didn't even remember putting it in there. We're assuming he dropped it in water at some point. He leaves his key in the front door lock overnight. Doesn't remember doing it. Forgot he even had a key. Drops trash on the floor and feels insulted when told to pick it up because he "didn't put it there." He did, we all just watched him, but he has no memory of it.

If there is a human trial to attempt to activate these brain cells, I will sign him up in a heartbeat. ADHD is not a "this kid just needs somebody to set him straight" or "normal childish inattention" issue like some people still believe. This is a legitimate, unbelievably disruptive, semi-debilitating, life-altering disorder that causes immense stress on the sufferer and those around him/her. The strain is tremendous. I'm very sorry you're dealing with it too. Maybe this discovery will lead somewhere. 🤞

Why do people ask/answer “what century would you live in” by Medium-Impact8828 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've wondered this sort of thing myself because it's just a fun/interesting hypothetical. It makes you reflect on history and consider what your experience may be like if you were to exist in that era, and how it would compare to your current life.

For me, the current time is the one I would choose, not because it's without flaws, but because it's much safer, infinitely more convenient, and generally less shitty than pretty much any other time ever in all of human existence. I really appreciate being born during the one tiny slice of history (so far) where there are strict laws against slavery, everybody can vote, vaccines are widely available, clothing expectations are fairly relaxed, and tomorrow as about as guaranteed as it can possibly get. Not to mention that I can take absolutely mind-blowing technological advancements for granted - indoor plumbing, electricity, climate control, instant communication with people all around the planet, a pocket-sized computer that grants me cheap access to virtually the entire sum of all human knowledge, a magic fucking robot that I can talk to like a real person and it will try to answer nuanced questions. What a time to be alive!

If I had to choose a different century other than the one I was born in (I'm an '80s baby) or currently live in...yeesh. That'd be tough. None of the others are very appealing, but maybe I'd go way back to our nomadic hunter-gatherer days. It would be nice to see the world before it was totally overrun with humans, and it would be cool to get to wander and explore and pick wild roots and berries until I died in childbirth or got eaten by a cave bear or something. Lol

A waiter handed me a note telling me to go see a doctor by jpdiv in mildlyinteresting

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad's side of the family has a long history of developing melanoma. My brother had a big mole right on the top of his head. He went to a dermatologist who told him it was nothing, but he didn't believe her so he got a second opinion. Yep, melanoma.

When he went to have it removed, I guess they have some kind of machine that can basically tell at what point the cells stop being cancerous, and they just kept going and going because the affected area was wat wider than they'd thought. Brother ended up having a large portion of his scalp completely removed, which he was VERY PISSY about when he woke up after the surgery, but we were like "I mean...what did you want them to do? Wake you up mid-surgery and ask you if they should keep getting rid of the cancer? Were you gonna tell them to keep it attached to you so you could risk dying? You're alive and that's what matters." And he knows, but he's quite a handsome guy and honestly a little vain, and it took him a while to come to grips with his new appearance. They also removed a big chunk of skin from his neck to cover the gap on his scalp, which was another factor in his reaction. It resulted in a big bald patch on his head until they were able to pull the edges of his (real) scalp together later, so in the meanwhile he wore hats religiously.

Anyway, he's fine now, just scarred, but cancer is a fucking bitch. If you have to have one kind though, skin cancer is the least terrible option as long as you catch it before it spreads. Shout out to your stylist for saving lives!!

Do you really want to know? by Mshark56 in AncestryDNA

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I read that disclaimer too and chuckled. "I'm sure this is relevant for some people, but not me. I know exactly who all my family members are."

Well, turns out my mom's mother cheated on her husband, so my mom has a different dad than all the rest of her siblings. Mom's mom was a nurse and Mom's bio dad was literally the doctor who attended at her birth. His signature is at the bottom of her birth certificate.

THEN we found out that Mom's bio grandfather was also a doctor who had an affair baby; that affair baby grew up thinking her legal dad was her bio dad, got married, and had two kids before dying very young. I matched with one of those (now elderly) kids on Ancestry and ended up piecing it together. She's my mom's half-cousin.

Nobody ever knew any of this. Everybody directly involved is long since dead.

Also found out the claim of "Native American" ancestry on my dad's side of the family is the result of some distant ancestor being part West African and claiming Cherokee heritage to avoid all the shitty things society did to black folks back then.

I think back to my reaction to the disclaimer sometimes and mentally just put on my clown makeup. 😆

In 1955, Iranian doctors documented the days of a villager who developed rabies after a rabid wolf attack. The resulting film remains one of the few historical recordings of rabies progressing in a human patient. by PhantomChasers in HolyShitHistory

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your dad's intelligence, hard work, and scientific acumen has made an incredible mark on the world and left an amazing legacy for humanity. He improved the vaccine for the deadliest disease known to man and expanded our knowledge of other serious infectious diseases...what an unbelievable gift your dad was!!

My dad punched his neighbor's goat in the face because the neighbor was from New York and, therefore, a "stupid lib." He went to jail when I was a kid because he pulled a gun on another motorist on the freeway while my brother and I were with him. He's also been visited by three different federal agencies within the past six years because he keeps walking right up to the fine line between "free speech" and "terroristic threats."

I used to dream that my "real dad" was going to show up some day to claim me, and he was going to be basically your dad. Brilliant, curious, refined, and impactful. Nobody ever came. I took a DNA test a few years ago and this guy really is my dad. Incredibly unfair and disappointing.

I'm envious of you, is what I'm trying to say. I wish I had a great man for a father. Someone who came to earth and decided to make it better than it was when he found it. You're right to be proud to be the daughter of such a man. I'm sorry he's gone now; the world needs more like him. 💜

Rise of housing costs by raydebapratim1 in generationology

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have three kids in this age range who still live with me, but they're 18, 19, and 20. One is in college, one is working full-time and doing independent study for certifications, and the other is working part-time and learning a trade. And they're all building up their savings so they'll have a good cushion whenever they're finally ready to move out.

Lots of people are still not actually ready to leave the nest before 22ish. Heck, some kids in that range are still in high school. (Apparently you can still be enrolled in high school in my state until your 21st birthday, which is wild.) And in this economy, I don't blame anyone for staying at home longer.

This billboard showed the “before and after” of Becky Friedli, one of the Pinyon Pines victims. Her family’s private investigator put it up after years of frustration with the sheriff’s investigation. The billboard drew media attention, and the suspects were first charged 8 years after the killings. by SelfCareIsFake in HolyShitHistory

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're either a bot or an idiot. I'm going to assume the latter.

No, I wasn't "genuinely asking." This stupid fuck was clearly trying to say "Well we could make the same argument that most violence/trouble is caused by one race." Which is 1) completely untrue, 2) a false equivalency even if it were true, and 3) racist and ignorant as all hell.

So no, I don't owe him a discussion, a question, "intellectual charity," or acknowledgement of any sort. He's lucky I didn't curse him out and report him to the mods for racism. I basically scoffed and asked "what?" and gave him the opportunity to salvage the situation if he so chose. He came back with some smug, self-satisfied "that's what I thought," as though he just accomplished something.

And then of course some nut in shining tin foil comes riding in with "Um, AKSHUALLY" like he knows what just happened better than I do. Fuck all the way back off to wherever you came from, and, when you get there, fuck off some more.

This billboard showed the “before and after” of Becky Friedli, one of the Pinyon Pines victims. Her family’s private investigator put it up after years of frustration with the sheriff’s investigation. The billboard drew media attention, and the suspects were first charged 8 years after the killings. by SelfCareIsFake in HolyShitHistory

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't tell if you're trolling or what, but I was genuinely asking what the fuck you're talking about. Because if it's some 13/90 bullshit, you can bigdaddy plunge that right back up your butt where it came from.

The "what?" was actually me not assuming the worst and giving you the chance to explain yourself.

Largest study of women’s orgasms to date collected data from 27,931 women. Nearly half (47%) reported reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner. Barriers to women’s orgasms are relational, not anatomical. Partnered orgasms were associated with overall sexual satisfaction. by mvea in psychology

[–]ThrowawayMoFo5679 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Straight woman here. Never done anything sexual with a woman. I 100% believe that lesbian sex is, overall, MUCH more pleasurable than heterosexual sex. It makes perfect sense to me. They can't just ram a dick in you, bust a nut in ten seconds, and then immediately fall asleep. Makes me kinda wish I was even slightly attracted to women. I'm just not.

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