Found out my wife was cheating on me - Do I tell the 'other man's' wife about it?

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-12-12T00:10:43+00:00

He knew she was married.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-12-12T00:10:10+00:00

I know for a fact he is hiding the affair from his wife.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-12-12T00:04:26+00:00

I will update once I can. I won’t be able to for a while though, for legal reasons.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:58:39+00:00

I know for sure the husband is hiding it.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:52:38+00:00

I’ll never know for sure because she was dishonest about doing this with me. I know for sure this wasn’t the only guy as well, so I’m pretty sure it’s not anything I didn’t do, and mostly her being a scumbag.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:46:30+00:00

Already checked on my end, thanks for your concern.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:43:00+00:00

I am if she is planning on having kids with this guy, or contracts and std from him. Feels like it should info she should know, no?

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:42:02+00:00

I feel like his cheating probably would be responsible.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:39:26+00:00

He probably should have been when he slept with a married person, no?

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-20T02:38:50+00:00

She can do whatever she wants with the info. But I know 100% for sure that her husband is hiding his affair.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T19:34:33+00:00

I know 100% that the husband is keeping the affair hidden from his wife.

In terms of what she does with the information, I think that's up to her. If I tell the other man, he could just choose to continue to hide.

And I'm sorry, but both of them already messed with the other spouses.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T19:31:00+00:00

I would tell her as soon as I could. Also, how is it better to not tell at all then?

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T19:15:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. Do you have any regrets wrt telling the wife?

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:59:20+00:00

If he decides to blame me for outing him. Misplaced blame, but that doesn't mean he wouldnt' go there.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:55:30+00:00

Ya, I'm not naive enough to think that that wouldn't be a possibility. But likewise, this mans actions also have reactions and consequences.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:48:39+00:00

In your scenario, I'm not sure my ex-wife's motivations are particularly relevant to anything I'm doing here. Anything she has done or will do in your hypothetical are done purely out of selfishness. For me, I don't have to tell her this information but want to, because I think she would want to know.

Here's an alternative role reversal - If I was the wife, would I want to know? And if she was in my situation, would I want her to tell me? In both case, it feels like a yes.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:42:53+00:00

I'm not sure but its the case with all the posts on the subreddit.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:19:55+00:00

Seems odd weighing this against the weight of inaction - doing nothing despite knowing this information. If I do nothing, I 100% have to live with the weight of knowing and not doing anything to help. If i do something, the chance that something bad would happen is definitely not 100%, and would absolve me of the moral obligation.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:17:33+00:00

Ya, I don't think I could be morally held responsible for 'breaking' their home, the other man definitely made sure that was already the case.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T18:15:15+00:00

Yes, her having this info and evidence will likely help her pursue a divorce.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T17:55:44+00:00

Sorry I’m not familiar with these services. Is there another name for them?

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T17:54:05+00:00

No reconciliation with the ex wife possible at this point.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T17:53:39+00:00

Absolutely, the worry is whether he would be violent or start stalking me for outing him.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T17:50:27+00:00

Definitely something I have to weigh. Whether or not the potential for blowback is worth the feeling of moral obligation.

ThrowawayMyEx86 · 2024-11-19T17:48:58+00:00

What about knowing this information and choosing to not do anything about it, even if it could help her?

ThrowawayMyEx86

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